Letter 267

About Silius I have learned nothing more from Sicca now he is here than from his letter, for he had written quite fully. So if you meet him, write and tell me your views. As to the matter on which you think a message has been sent to me, I don't know whether one has been sent or not; certainly not a word has been said to me. So go on as you have begun, and, if you come to any arrangement that satisfies her, which I don't think at all likely, take my son with you to her, if you like. It is to his interest to appear to have wanted to do something to nihil nisi id, quod tu scis, quod ego magni aestimo. Quod me ad meam consuetudinem revocas, fuit meum quidem iam pridem rem publicam lugere, quod faciebam, sed mitius; erat enim, ubi acquiescerem. Nunc plane nec ego victum nec vitam illam colere possum, nec in ea re, quid aliis videatur, mihi puto curandum; mea mihi conscientia pluris est quam omnium sermo. Quod me ipse per litteras consolatus sum, non paenitet me, quantum profecerim. Maerorem minui, dolorem nec potui nec, si possem, vellem. De Triario bene interpretaris voluntatem meam. Tu vero nihil, nisi ut illi volent. Amo illum mortuum, tutor sum liberis, totam domum diligo. De Castriciano negotio, si Castricius pro mancipiis pecuniam accipere volet eamque ita solvi, ut nunc solvitur, certe nihil est commodius. Sin autem ita actum est, ut ipsa mancipia abduceret, non mihi videtur esse aequum (rogas enim me, ut tibi scribam, quid mihi videatur); nolo enim negotii Quintum fratrem quicquam habere; quod videor mihi intellexisse tibi videri idem. Publilius, si aequinoctium exspectat, ut scribis Aledium dicere, navigaturus videtur. Mihi autem dixerat per Siciliam. Utrum et quando, velim scire. Et velim aliquando, cum erit tuum commodum, Lentulum puerum visas eique de mancipiis, quae tibi videbitur, attribuas. Piliae, Atticae salutem. please her; I have no interest in the matter, except that you know of, which I consider important. You call me back to my old way of life. Well, I have long been bewailing the loss of the Republic, and that was what I was doing, though less strongly; for I had one harbour of refuge. Now I positively cannot follow my old way of life and employment; nor do I think I ought to care what others think about that. My own conscience is more to me than all their talk. For the consolation I have sought in writing, I am not discontented with my measure of success. It has made me show my grief less; but the grief itself I could not lessen, nor would I, if I could. About Triarius you interpret my wishes well. However do nothing without his family's consent. I love him, though he is dead: I am guardian to his children, and feel affection for all his household. As regards the business with Castricius, if he is willing to take money estimated at its present rate instead of the slaves, nothing could be more convenient. But, if things have gone so far that he is taking the slaves away, I don't think it is fair to him to ask him (you ask me to give you my real opinion); for I don't want my brother Quintus to have any bother, and I rather fancy you take the same view. If Publilius is waiting for the equinox, as you say Aledius tells you, I suppose he is going by sea; but he told me he was going by way of Sicily. I should like to know which it is and when. I should like you too some time at your convenience to pay a visit to little Lentulus and assign him such of the household as you think fit. Love to Pilia and Attica.

Sicca, ut scribit, etiam si nihil confecerit cum A. Silio, tamen se scribit x Kal. esse venturum. tuis occupationibus ignosco eaeque mihi sunt notae. de voluntate tua ut simul simus vel studio potius et cupiditate non dubito. [2] de Nicia quod scribis, si ita me haberem ut eius humanitate frui possem, in primis vellem illum mecum habere. sed mihi solitudo et recessus provincia est. quod quia facile ferebat Sicca, eo magis illum desidero. praeterea nosti Niciae nostri imbecillitatem, mollitiam, consuetudinem victus. cur ergo illi molestus esse velim, cum mihi ille iucundus esse non possit? voluntas tamen eius mihi grata est. unam rem ad me scripsisti; de qua decrevi nihil tibi rescribere. spero enim me a te impetrasse ut privares me ista molestia. Piliae et Atticae salutem.