Letter 387

I reached Antium on the 8th. Brutus was very glad to see me. Then before Servilia, Tertulla, Porcia, and a lot of others, he asked me for my opinion. Favonius was present too. I had made up my mind on the journey, and advised him to accept the control of the corn supply from Asia: there was nothing else for us to do now except to keep him out of danger: by so doing we should have some safeguard for the republic too. When I was in the midst of my speech, in came Cassius. I said the same over again. Whereupon Cassius, with flashing eyes and fairly breathing war, declared he would not go to Sicily. "Am I to take an insult like a favour?" "What will you do then?" I asked; and he said he would go to Achaia. "What of you, Brutus," I said. "To Rome," he answered, "if you think I ought." "I don't think so at all, for you won't be safe." "Well, if it were possible to be there in safety, would you approve?" "Yes, I would rather you did not go to a province either now or after your praetorship; but I don't advise you to trust yourself in Rome." I gave him the reasons that will occur to you, why it would not be safe. Then they kept on bewailing the chances that had been let slip, especially Cassius, and they complained bitterly of Decimus. I said they ought not to harp on the past, but I agreed with them. When I had gone on to explain what ought to have been done, saying nothing new, but what everybody is saying daily, quae cotidie omnes, nec tamen illum locum attingerem, quemquam praeterea oportuisse tangi, sed senatum vocari, populum ardentem studio vehementius incitari, totam suscipi rem publicam, exclamat tua familiaris: "Hoc vero neminem umquam audivi!" Ego repressi. Sed et Cassius mihi videbatur iturus (etenim Servilia pollicebatur se curaturam, ut illa frumenti curatio de senatus consulto tolleretur), et noster cito deiectus est de illo inani sermone quo Romae velle esse dixerat. Constituit igitur, ut ludi absente se fierent suo nomine. Proficisci autem mihi in Asiam videbatur ab Antio velle. Ne multa, nihil me in illo itinere praeter conscientiam meam delectavit. Non enim fuit committendum, ut ille ex Italia, priusquam a me conventus esset, discederet. Hoc dempto munere amoris atque officii sequebatur, ut mecum ipse: Prorsus dissolutum offendi navigium vel potius dissipatum. Nihil consilio, nihil ratione, nihil ordine. Itaque, etsi ne antea quidem dubitavi, tamen nunc eo minus evolare hinc idque quam primum, "ubi nec Pélopidarum fácta neque famam aúdiam." Et heus tu! ne forte sis nescius, Dolabella me sibi legavit a. d. IIII Nonas. Id mihi heri vesperi nuntiatum and not touching on the point as to whether anyone else ought to have been attacked, but saying that the Senate ought to have been called, the people in their violent excitement ought to have been roused to fury, and the whole conduct of affairs taken over by them, your friend Servilia exclaimed: "That I never heard anyone...." I interrupted her. But I think Cassius will go (for Servilia promises she will see that that appointment to the corn-supply shall be withdrawn from the senatorial decree): and our friend soon gave up his silly talk of wanting to go to Rome. So he has made up his mind that the games may be held in his absence under his name. I fancy, however, he wants to set out for Asia from Antium. To cut the matter short, I got nothing that satisfied me out of that journey except the satisfaction to my conscience. For I could not allow him to leave Italy before I had met him. Save for fulfilling the duty I owed to our affection, I could not help asking myself: "What makest thou with thy journey hither, seer?" In fact I found a ship breaking up, or rather already in wreckage. No plan, no reason, no system. So, although I had no doubt even before, now I have still less that I must fly away from here as fast as possible, "Where I may hear no bruit of Pelops' sons." And listen to this, if you have not heard it before: Dolabella has made me one of his legates on the 2nd of June. That I was told yesterday evening. est. Votiva ne tibi quidem placebat; etenim erat absurdum, quae, si stetisset res publica, vovissem, ea me eversa illa vota dissolvere. Et habent, opinor, liberae legationes definitum tempus lege Iulia, nec facile addi potest. Aveo genus legationis, ut, cum velis, introire, exire liceat; quod nunc mihi additum est. Bella est autem huius iuris quinquennii licentia. Quamquam quid de quinquennio cogitem? Contrahi mihi negotium videtur. Sed βλάσφημα mittamus.

iiiii non. vesperi a Balbo redditae mihi litterae fore Nonis senatum, ut Brutus in Asia, Cassius in Sicilia frumentum emendum et ad urbem mittendum curarent. O rem miseram! primum ullam ab istis, dein, si aliquam, hanc legatoriam provinciam! atque haud scio an melius sit quam ad Eurotam sedere. sed haec casus gubernabit. ait autem eodem tempore decretum iri ut et iis et reliquis praetoriis provinciae decernantur. hoc certe melius quam illa Persikh\ porticus; nolo enim Lacedaemonem longinquo quom Lanuvium existimavit. 'rides' inquies 'in talibus rebus?' quid faciam? plorando fessus sum. [2] di immortales! quam me conturbatum tenuit epistulae tuae prior pagina! quid autem iste in domo tua casus armorum? sed hunc quidem nimbum cito transisse laetor. tu quid egeris tua cum tristi tum etiam difficili ad consiliandum legatione vehementer exspecto; est enim inexplicabilis. ita circumsedemur copiis omnibus. me quidem Bruti litterae quas ostendis a te lectas ita perturbarunt ut, quamquam ante egebam consilio, tamen animi dolore sim tardior. sed plura, cum ista cognoro. hoc autem tempore quod scriberem nihil erat, eoque minus quod dubitabam tu bas ipsas litteras essesne accepturus. erat enim incertum visurusne te esset tabellarius. ego tuas litteras vehementer exspecto.