Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. -58 AD|Cicero|AI-assisted
Setting out from Brundisium, I had written to you explaining why we had not proceeded to Epirus — both because Achaia was nearly full of the most reckless of my enemies, and because departure from there would be difficult once we had gone. To this was added, while we were at Dyrrachium, the arrival of two reports: one that my brother was coming from Ephesus to Athens by ship, the other that he was coming on foot through Macedonia. Accordingly, we sent someone to meet him at Athens so that he might come from there to Thessalonica. We ourselves pressed on and arrived at Thessalonica on the 23rd of May, but we had no definite information about his journey except that he had set out from Ephesus some time before.
Now I am terribly afraid of what is happening there. In one of your letters you write that on the Ides of May you heard the prosecution would be pressed more vigorously; in the other, that things were already calmer. But the calmer letter was dated a day before the other, which disturbs me all the more. And so, while my daily grief tears at me and wears me down, this added worry on top of it scarcely leaves me alive. But the voyage was extremely difficult, and he, uncertain where I was, may have taken a different route. For the freedman Phaetho did not see him — driven back by wind from Ilium into Macedonia, he met me at Pella. I see how much I have to fear in what remains, and I have nothing to write, yet I fear everything; nor is there any misery so great that it does not seem to fall within our fortune. Indeed, wretched as I am, amid my greatest sufferings and grief, with this fear now added, I remain at Thessalonica in suspense and dare not do anything.
Now to what you wrote. I have not seen Caecilius Trypho. I learned of your conversation with Pompey from your letter. I do not see as much political upheaval looming as you either see or put forward to console me. For with Tigranes ignored, everything has been swept away. You bid me give thanks to Varro — I shall; likewise to Hypsaeus. As for your advice that we not withdraw any farther until the proceedings of May reach us, I think I shall do so, but where exactly I have not yet decided. I am so disturbed in mind about Quintus that I can settle on nothing, but I shall inform you at once.
From the inconsistency of my letters, I think you can see the turmoil of my mind, which, though I have been struck by an extraordinary and unparalleled calamity, is nevertheless stirred not so much by the misery itself as by the recollection of my own fault. For by whose villainy we were driven and betrayed, you surely see by now — and I wish you had seen it sooner and not given your whole heart over to grief along with me. Therefore, when you hear that I am crushed and consumed with sorrow, understand that I bear the punishment of my own stupidity more heavily than that of the event itself — because I trusted a man whom I did not think capable of such wickedness. The memory of my misfortunes and my fear for my brother hinder me in writing. See to all those matters and steer the course. Terentia sends you her deepest thanks. I am sending you a copy of the letter I wrote to Pompey. Dispatched on the 28th of May from Thessalonica.
As I was setting out from Brundisium, I wrote to you, explaining why I
could not go to Epirus, because it is close to Achaia which is full of
my most virulent enemies, and it is a hard place to get out of, when I
want to start. My decision was confirmed by the receipt of two messages
at Dyrrachium, one saying that my brother was coming by sea from Ephesus
to
pedibus per Macedoniam venire. Itaque illi obviam misimus Athenas, ut
inde Thessalonicam veniret. Ipsi processimus et Thessalonicam a. d. X
Kal. Iunias venimus, neque de illius itinere quicquam certi habebamus
nisi eum ab Epheso ante aliquanto profectum. Nunc, istic quid agatur,
magno opere timeo; quamquam tu altera epistula scribis Idibus Maiis
audire te fore ut acrius postularetur, altera iam esse mitiora. Sed haec
est pridie data quam illa, quo conturber magis. Itaque cum meus me
maeror cotidianus lacerat et conficit, tum vero haec addita cura vix
mihi vitam reliquam facit. Sed et navigatio perdifficilis fuit, et ille,
incertus ubi ego essem, fortasse alium cursum petivit. Nam Phaetho
libertus eum non vidit. Vento reiectus ab Ilio in Macedoniam Pellae mihi
praesto fuit. Reliqua quam mihi timenda sint video, nec quid scribam
habeo et omnia timeo, nec tam miserum est quicquam, quod non in nostram
fortunam cadere videatur. Equidem adhuc miser in maximis meis aerumnis
et luctibus hoc metu adiecto maneo Thessalonicae suspensus nec audeo
quicquam.
Nunc ad ea, quae scripsisti. Tryphonem Caecilium non vidi. Sermonem tuum
et Pompei cognovi ex tuis litteris. Motum in re publica non tantum ego
impendere video, quantum tu aut vides aut ad me consolandum adfers.
Tigrane enim neglecto sublata sunt omnia. Varroni me iubes agere
gratias. Faciam; item Hypsaeo. Quod suades, ne longius discedamus,
Athens, the other that he was coming by land through Macedonia. So I
sent a note to catch him at Athens, asking him to come on to
Thessalonica, and I myself set off and arrived at Thessalonica on the
23rd of May. The only certain news about him, that I have had, is that
he started a short time ago from Ephesus. Now I am in great anxiety to
know what is happening at Rome. It is true that in one letter dated May
15 you say you have heard that Quintus will be rigorously called in
question, and in another that things are calming down: but the latter is
dated a day before the former, to increase my perplexity. So, what
between my own personal grief, which racks and tortures me daily, and
this additional anxiety, I have hardly any life left in me. But the
passage was very bad and perhaps, not knowing where I was, he took some
other direction. My freedman Phaetho has seen nothing of him. Phaetho
was driven back by wind from Ilium to Macedonia and came to me at Pella.
I see how threatening the future is, though I have not the heart to
write. I am afraid of everything: there is no misfortune that does not
seem to fall to my lot. I am still staying in suspense at Thessalonica,
with this new fear added to the woes and sorrows that oppress me; and I
do not dare to make a move of any kind.
Now for the things you mention in your letter. Caecilius Trypho I have
not seen. Of your talk with Pompey I have heard from your letter. I
cannot see such signs of a political change as you either see or invent
to comfort me: for, if they take no notice of the Tigranes episode, all
hope is lost. You bid me pay my thanks to Varro. I will, and to Hypsaeus
too. I think I will follow your advice not to go any
dum acta mensis Maii ad nos perferantur, puto me ita esse facturum, sed,
ubi, nondum statui; atque ita perturbato sum animo de Quinto, ut nihil
queam statuere, sed tamen statim te faciam certiorem.
Ex epistularum mearum inconstantia puto te mentis meae motum videre,
qui, etsi incredibili et singulari calamitate adflictus sum, tamen non
tam est ex miseria quam ex culpae nostrae recordatione commotus. Cuius
enim scelere impulsi ac proditi simus, iam profecto vides, atque utinam
iam ante vidisses neque totum animum tuum errori mecum simul dedisses!
Quare, cum me adflictum et confectum luctu audies, existimato me
stultitiae meae poenam ferre gravius quam eventi, quod ei crediderim,
quem esse nefarium non putarim. Me et meorum malorum memoria et metus de
fratre in scribendo impedit. Tu ista omnia vide et guberna. Terentia
tibi maximas gratias agit. Litterarum exemplum, quas ad Pompeium
scripsi, misi tibi.
Data IIII Kal. Iunias Thessalonicae.
Brundisio proficiscens scripseram ad te quas ob causas in Epirum non essemus profecti, quod et Achaia prope esset plena audacissimorum inimicorum et exitus difficilis haberet cum inde proficisceremur. accessit cum Dyrrachi essemus ut duo nuntii adferrentur, unus classe fratrem Epheso Athenas, alter pedibus per Macedoniam venire. itaque illi obviam misimus Athenas ut inde Thessalonicam veniret. ipsi processimus et Thessalonicam a. d. x Kal. Iunias venimus neque de illius itinere quicquam certi habebamus nisi eum ab Epheso ante aliquanto profectum. [2] nunc istic quid agatur magno opere timeo; quamquam tu altera epistula scribis Idibus Maus audiri fore ut acrius postularetur, altera iam esse mitiora. sed haec est pridie data quam illa, quo conturber magis. itaque cum meus me maeror cotidianus lacerat et conficit tum vero haec addita cura vix mihi vitam reliquam facit. sed et navigatio perdifficilis fuit et ille incertus ubi ego essem fortasse alium cursum petivit. nam Phaetho libertus eum non vidit. vento reiectus ab Ilio in Macedoniam Pellae mihi praesto fuit. reliqua quam mihi timenda sint video nec quid scribam habeo et omnia timeo, nec tam miserum est quicquam quod non in nostram fortunam cadere videatur. equidem adhuc miser in maximis meis aerumnis et luctibus hoc metu adiecto maneo Thessalonicae suspensus nec audeo quicquam. [3] nunc ad ea quae scripsisti. Tryphonem Caecilium non vidi. sermonem tuum et Pompei cognovi ex tuis litteris. Motuit in re publica non tantum ego impendere video quantum tu aut vides aut ad me consolandum adfers. Tigrane enim neglecto sublata sunt omnia. Varroni me iubes agere gratias. faciam; item Hypsaeo. quod suades ne longius discedamus dum acta mensis Mai ad nos perferantur, puto me ita esse facturum sed ubi nondum statui; atque ita perturbato sum animo de Quinto ut nihil queam statuere sed tamen statim te faciam certiorem. [4] ex epistularum mearum inconstantia puto te mentis meae motum videre qui, etsi incredibili et singulari calamitate adflictus sum, tamen non tam est ex miseria quam ex culpae nostrae recordatione commotus. cuius enim scelere impulsi ac proditi simus iam profecto vides, atque utinam iam ante vidisses neque totum animum tuum maerori mecum simul dedisses! qua re cum me adflictum et confectum luctu audies, existimato me stultitiae meae poenam ferre gravius quam eventi, quod ei crediderim quem esse nefarium non putarim. me et meorum malorum memoria et metus de fratre in scribendo impedit. tu ista omnia vide et guberna Terentia tibi maximas gratias agit. Litterarum exemplum quas ad Pompeium scripsi misi tibi. data iiii Kal. Iunias Thessalonicae.
◆
Setting out from Brundisium, I had written to you explaining why we had not proceeded to Epirus — both because Achaia was nearly full of the most reckless of my enemies, and because departure from there would be difficult once we had gone. To this was added, while we were at Dyrrachium, the arrival of two reports: one that my brother was coming from Ephesus to Athens by ship, the other that he was coming on foot through Macedonia. Accordingly, we sent someone to meet him at Athens so that he might come from there to Thessalonica. We ourselves pressed on and arrived at Thessalonica on the 23rd of May, but we had no definite information about his journey except that he had set out from Ephesus some time before.
Now I am terribly afraid of what is happening there. In one of your letters you write that on the Ides of May you heard the prosecution would be pressed more vigorously; in the other, that things were already calmer. But the calmer letter was dated a day before the other, which disturbs me all the more. And so, while my daily grief tears at me and wears me down, this added worry on top of it scarcely leaves me alive. But the voyage was extremely difficult, and he, uncertain where I was, may have taken a different route. For the freedman Phaetho did not see him — driven back by wind from Ilium into Macedonia, he met me at Pella. I see how much I have to fear in what remains, and I have nothing to write, yet I fear everything; nor is there any misery so great that it does not seem to fall within our fortune. Indeed, wretched as I am, amid my greatest sufferings and grief, with this fear now added, I remain at Thessalonica in suspense and dare not do anything.
Now to what you wrote. I have not seen Caecilius Trypho. I learned of your conversation with Pompey from your letter. I do not see as much political upheaval looming as you either see or put forward to console me. For with Tigranes ignored, everything has been swept away. You bid me give thanks to Varro — I shall; likewise to Hypsaeus. As for your advice that we not withdraw any farther until the proceedings of May reach us, I think I shall do so, but where exactly I have not yet decided. I am so disturbed in mind about Quintus that I can settle on nothing, but I shall inform you at once.
From the inconsistency of my letters, I think you can see the turmoil of my mind, which, though I have been struck by an extraordinary and unparalleled calamity, is nevertheless stirred not so much by the misery itself as by the recollection of my own fault. For by whose villainy we were driven and betrayed, you surely see by now — and I wish you had seen it sooner and not given your whole heart over to grief along with me. Therefore, when you hear that I am crushed and consumed with sorrow, understand that I bear the punishment of my own stupidity more heavily than that of the event itself — because I trusted a man whom I did not think capable of such wickedness. The memory of my misfortunes and my fear for my brother hinder me in writing. See to all those matters and steer the course. Terentia sends you her deepest thanks. I am sending you a copy of the letter I wrote to Pompey. Dispatched on the 28th of May from Thessalonica.
AI-assisted translation — This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
Brundisio proficiscens scripseram ad te quas ob causas in Epirum non essemus profecti, quod et Achaia prope esset plena audacissimorum inimicorum et exitus difficilis haberet cum inde proficisceremur. accessit cum Dyrrachi essemus ut duo nuntii adferrentur, unus classe fratrem Epheso Athenas, alter pedibus per Macedoniam venire. itaque illi obviam misimus Athenas ut inde Thessalonicam veniret. ipsi processimus et Thessalonicam a. d. x Kal. Iunias venimus neque de illius itinere quicquam certi habebamus nisi eum ab Epheso ante aliquanto profectum. [2] nunc istic quid agatur magno opere timeo; quamquam tu altera epistula scribis Idibus Maus audiri fore ut acrius postularetur, altera iam esse mitiora. sed haec est pridie data quam illa, quo conturber magis. itaque cum meus me maeror cotidianus lacerat et conficit tum vero haec addita cura vix mihi vitam reliquam facit. sed et navigatio perdifficilis fuit et ille incertus ubi ego essem fortasse alium cursum petivit. nam Phaetho libertus eum non vidit. vento reiectus ab Ilio in Macedoniam Pellae mihi praesto fuit. reliqua quam mihi timenda sint video nec quid scribam habeo et omnia timeo, nec tam miserum est quicquam quod non in nostram fortunam cadere videatur. equidem adhuc miser in maximis meis aerumnis et luctibus hoc metu adiecto maneo Thessalonicae suspensus nec audeo quicquam. [3] nunc ad ea quae scripsisti. Tryphonem Caecilium non vidi. sermonem tuum et Pompei cognovi ex tuis litteris. Motuit in re publica non tantum ego impendere video quantum tu aut vides aut ad me consolandum adfers. Tigrane enim neglecto sublata sunt omnia. Varroni me iubes agere gratias. faciam; item Hypsaeo. quod suades ne longius discedamus dum acta mensis Mai ad nos perferantur, puto me ita esse facturum sed ubi nondum statui; atque ita perturbato sum animo de Quinto ut nihil queam statuere sed tamen statim te faciam certiorem. [4] ex epistularum mearum inconstantia puto te mentis meae motum videre qui, etsi incredibili et singulari calamitate adflictus sum, tamen non tam est ex miseria quam ex culpae nostrae recordatione commotus. cuius enim scelere impulsi ac proditi simus iam profecto vides, atque utinam iam ante vidisses neque totum animum tuum maerori mecum simul dedisses! qua re cum me adflictum et confectum luctu audies, existimato me stultitiae meae poenam ferre gravius quam eventi, quod ei crediderim quem esse nefarium non putarim. me et meorum malorum memoria et metus de fratre in scribendo impedit. tu ista omnia vide et guberna Terentia tibi maximas gratias agit. Litterarum exemplum quas ad Pompeium scripsi misi tibi. data iiii Kal. Iunias Thessalonicae.