Letter 407: Do you realize you are at war with yourself?

Do you realize you are at war with yourself? You treat the same man well and badly at the same time, and you hate intensely the very person you claim to love deeply. Knowing many of my speeches by heart, preserving them in memory, reciting them aloud, introducing them at every gathering, showing them to anyone willing to listen and pestering those who are not -- all this is perhaps the work of a friend. I say "perhaps" because bad poems are best hidden for their authors' sake. But let us grant this much comes from affection. When, however, you try to drive me from the homeland I recovered through so much effort, when you run about scheming to make me suffer, when you reproach those who released me as if they had been deceived, when you undo the favor and serve your own pleasure while destroying my interest -- none of this deserves to be called the work of a friend. I am genuinely afraid this behavior may damage your reputation, even though Clematius reported your zeal as praise of you, not realizing he was acting as your accuser. When I pointed out that he was admiring wrongdoing, he said: "Call it whatever you like. We approve of it, and it will be done."‌

Ἰοβιανῷ. (355) Αρ᾿ αἰσθάνῃ σαυτῷ μαχόμενος καὶ τὸν αὐτὸν εὖ ποιῶν τε ὁμοῦ καὶ κακῶς καὶ μισῶν οὐ μικρῶς ὃν πάνυ φάσκεις φι- λεῖν; τὸ μὲν γὰρ πολλούς τε εἰδέναι τῶν ἡμετέρων λόγων καὶ μνήμη τηρεῖν καὶ λέγειν ἀπὸ στόματος καὶ ἐπεισάγειν παντὶ συλλόγῳ καὶ βουλομένοις δεικνύειν καὶ μὴ βουλομένοις ἐνο- χλεῖν, ταυτὶ μὲν ἴσως φιλοῦντος, τὸ δὲ ἴσως εἴρηταί μοι διὰ τὸ τὰ μὴ καλὰ ποιήματα κέρδος εἶναι τοῖς ποιηταῖς, εἰ κρύ- πτοιτο, ἀλλ’ ὅμως ἴστω τοῦτο φιλοῦντος· ὅταν δέ με ἐκ- βάλλης τῆς πατρίδος, ἣν πολλοῖς ἀπείληφα πόνοις, καὶ περι- τρέχῃς, ὅπως ἐγὼ πάθοιμι, καὶ τοῖς ἀφεικόσιν ἐγκαλῇς ὡς ἐξηπατημένοις καὶ λύῃς τὴν χάριν καὶ τὸ σαυτοῦ θεραπεύῃς ἡδὺ καὶ τοὐμὸν διαφθείρῃς συμφέρον, ταῦτα δὲ οὐ δέχεται τὸ τοῦ φιλοῦντος πρόσρημα. καὶ δέδοικα δὴ μή σοι δια- βάλλῃ τὸν τρόπον, καίτοι Κλημάτιος ἐν ἐπαίνῳ τῷ περὶ σοῦ ταύτην ἀπήγγειλε τὴν σπουδήν, κατήγορος δὲ ὢν οὐκ ἡπί- στατο. δεικνύντος δέ μου ὅτι τὰ ἀδικήματα θαυμάζοι, κάλει φησίν, ὅ τι ταῦτα ἐθέλεις· ὡς ἡμῖν γε ἀρέσκει καὶ πεπράξεται. καὶ έμοὶ τοίνυν ἔφην ἐξέστω μὴ νο- μίξειν ἡμᾶς φίλους μηδὲ εἰς ταὐτὸω ἰέναι. ταῦτα ἀκού- σὰς ἔφη λήξειν. παῦσαι δὴ καὶ σὺ τῆς φιλονεικίας καὶ φρόνησον Ἑλληνικόν τι. πρέποι δ’ ἂν ἥκοντος Ὀλυμπίου τοῦ φέροντος ὑμῖν ἐπὶ τῆς ψυχῆς πάντα τὰ Ἑλλήνων καλά.