Letter 98: Procopius parades Diodorus's shoes so publicly that the gift can hardly be missed.

What has happened to you, mighty tongue, breathing so grandly against the silent? You have been caught in the very things you accused. Without noticing, you became your own prosecutor and were caught in your own nets. By doing what you blamed, you hold the proof at home and have been caught by your own feathers, as the proverb says. If proper procedure had been followed, I would certainly have sent your own letter back against you. Then perhaps you would know that you were not wrong to rebuke silence, but that now you are at fault for making an empty accusation. Most of all, after making a generous gift of excellent shoes, beautifully fitted to the foot, as comedy would say, you sent them bare of letters. You did not even say "receive these" or "greetings." You were probably prouder of them than Croesus was when he gave his famous bricks to the Pythian god. Your behavior shows that you had collected them from the maker long ago and were always waiting, aiming at the right moment, so that when the festival approached I would receive them, go out, and shout your generosity to everyone who saw me. Once I understood your condition, I went forward with long Homeric Ajax-strides. I struck the ground hard, turned the spectator's attention toward my feet, and if anyone saw but did not wish to look, I considered him insulting and forced him in the end to see. Without anyone asking where I got them, I proclaimed, "Diodorus gave them." Everywhere there was laughter at my lack of taste, but fame for your goodwill. That is what I gained from your fine shoes: I nearly walked on my head so that the gift would be well placed for viewing.

Διοδώρωι Τί τοῦτο πέπονθας ὁ πολὺς τὴν γλῶτταν, καὶ μέγα πνέων κατὰ τῶν σιωπώντων; ἑάλως οἷς ἐνεκάλεις, καὶ σεαυτοῦ κατηγορήσας ἐλάνθανες, καὶ τοῖς σεαυτοῦ δικτύοις ἑάλως σαγηνευθείς. ἃ γὰρ ἐμέμψω δράσας οἴκοθεν ἔχεις τὸν ἔλεγχον καὶ τοῖς σεαυτοῦ πτεροῖς ἑάλως, τὴν παροιμίαν παθών. ὥστ' εἴ τι τῶν προσηκόντων ἐγίνετο, τὴν σὴν ἄν σοι πάντως ἐπιστολὴν ἀντεπέθηκα· τάχα γὰρ ἂν ἔγνως ἐπιτιμήσας μὲν ὡς οὐκ ἂν ἁμαρτών, πλημ μελῶν δὲ νῦν ὡς κατηγορήσας οὐδέν. καὶ τὸ μέγιστον, ὅτι φιλοτιμησάμενος ὑποδήματα καλά τε λίαν καὶ περὶ πόδα μᾶλλον, ὡς τῇ κωμῳδίᾳ δοκεῖ, καὶ ταῦτα γραμμάτων ἔρημα πέπομφας, μήτε τὸ δέξαι μήτε τὸ χαίρειν εἰπών. καίτοι μεῖζον, ὡς εἰκός, ἐπὶ τούτοις ἐφρόνησας ἢ Κροῖσος ἐκεῖνος τὰς θαυ μαστὰς δὴ πλίνθους τῷ Πυθίῳ δωρούμενος. δηλοῖ δὲ τὸ πάλαι σε ταῦτα παρὰ τοῦ δημιουργοῦ κομισάμενον μέλλειν ἀεὶ καὶ καταστοχάζεσθαι τοῦ καιροῦ, ὅπως ἂν ἐρχομένης τῆς πανηγύρεως ταῦτα λαβὼν προέλθω τοῖς ὁρῶσι τὴν φιλοτιμίαν βοῶν. ὅθεν σου τὸ πάθος μαθὼν προῄειν κατὰ τὸν Ὁμηρικὸν Αἴαντα μακρὰ βιβάς, καὶ κατεκρότουν τὴν γῆν ἐπιστρέφων πρὸς τοὺς πόδας τὸν θεατήν, καὶ εἴ τις ὁρῶν οὐκ ἐβούλετο, ὑβριστὴν τοῦτον ἐδόκουν καὶ τέλος ὁρᾶν κατηνάγκαζον, καὶ μηδενὸς ἐρωτῶντος ὁπόθεν ἔχω λαβών, "Διόδωρος ὁ δούς" ἀνεκήρυττον. καὶ διὰ πάντων ὑπῆρχεν ἐπ' ἐμοὶ μὲν ἀπειροκαλίας γέλως, ἐπὶ σοὶ δὲ τῆς εὐνοίας ἡ φήμη. τοιαῦτά σοι τῶν καλῶν ὑποδημάτων ἀπέλαυσα, μικροῦ δεῖν ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν βαδίσας, ὅπως ἐν καλῷ τῆς θέας ἔσται τὸ δῶρον.