Lucius Annaeus Seneca→Lucilius Junior|c. 64 AD|Seneca the Younger|From Rome|To Sicily|AI-assisted
My ill-liealth had allowed me a long furlough, when
suddenly it resumed the attack. "What kind of ill-health?" you say.
And you surely have a right to ask; for it is true that no kind is unknown
to me. But I have been consigned, so to speak, to one special ailment.
I do not know why I should call it by its Greek name; for it is well
enough deseribed as "shortness of breath." Its attack is of very brief
duration, like that of a squall at sea; it usually ends within an hour.
Who indeed could brcathc his last for long? I have passed through
all the ills and dangers of the flesh; but nothing seems to me more troublesome
than this. And naturally so; for anything else may be called illness;
but this is a sort of continued "last gasp." Hence physicians call it
"practising how to die." For some day the breath will succeed in doing
what it has so often essayed. Do you think I am writing this letter
in a merry spirit, just because I have escaped? It would be absurd
to take delight in such supposed restoration to health, as it would be
for a defendant to imagine that he had won his case when he had succeeded
in postponing his trial. Yet in the midst of my difficult breathing I never
ceased to rest secure in cheerful and brave thoughts. What?" I say
to myself does death so often
<Ep1-361>
test me? Let it do so; I myself have for a long time tested death."
{Donne] "When?" you ask. Before I was born. Death is non-existence,
and I know already what that means. What was before me will happen
again after me. If there is any suffering in this state, there must
have been such suffering also in the past, before we entered the light
of day. As a matter of fact, however, we felt no discomfort then.
And I ask you, would you not say that one was the greatest of fools who
believed that a lamp was worse off when it was extinguished than before
it was lighted? We mortals also are Iighted and extinguished; the
period of suffering comes in between, but on either side there is a deep
peace. For, unless I am very much mistaken, my dear Lucilius, we
go astray in thinking that death only follows, when in reality it has both
preceded us and will in turn follow us. Whatever condition existed
before our birth, is death. For what does it matter whether you do
not begin at all, or whether you leave off, inasmuch as the result of both
these states is non- existence?
I have never ceased to encourage myself with
cheering counsels of this kind, silently, of course, since I had not the
power to speak; then little by little this shortness of breath, already
reduced to a sort of panting, came on at greater intervals, and then slowed
down and finally stopped. Even by this time, although the gasping
has ceased, the breath does not come and go normally; I still feel a sort
of hesitation and delay in breathing. Let it be as it pleases, provided
there be no sigh from the soul. Accept this assurance from me - I shall
never be frightened when the last hour comes; I am already prepared and
do not plan a whole day ahead. But do you praise and imitate the
man whom it does not
<Ep1-363>
[1] Longum mihi commeatum dederat mala valetudo; repente me invasit. 'Quo genere?' inquis. Prorsus merito interrogas: adeo nullum mihi ignotum est. Uni tamen morbo quasi assignatus sum, quem quare Graeco nomine appellem nescio; satis enim apte dici suspirium potest. Brevis autem valde et procellae similis est impetus; intra horam fere desinit: quis enim diu exspirat? [2] Omnia corporis aut incommoda aut pericula per me transierunt: nullum mihi videtur molestius. Quidni? aliud enim quidquid est aegrotare est, hoc animam egerere. Itaque medici hanc 'meditationem mortis' vocant; facit enim aliquando spiritus ille quod saepe conatus est. Hilarem me putas haec tibi scribere quia effugi? [3] Tam ridicule facio, si hoc fine quasi bona valetudine delector, quam ille, quisquis vicisse se putat cum vadimonium distulit.
Ego vero et in ipsa suffocatione non desii cogitationibus laetis ac fortibus acquiescere. [4] 'Quid hoc est?' inquam 'tam saepe mors experitur me? Faciat: [at] ego illam diu expertus sum.' 'Quando?' inquis. Antequam nascerer. Mors est non esse. Id quale sit iam scio: hoc erit post me quod ante me fuit. Si quid in hac re tormenti est, necesse est et fuisse, antequam prodiremus in lucem; atqui nullam sensimus tunc vexationem. [5] Rogo, non stultissimum dicas si quis existimet lucernae peius esse cum exstincta est quam antequam accenditur? Nos quoque et exstinguimur et accendimur: medio illo tempore aliquid patimur, utrimque vero alta securitas est. In hoc enim, mi Lucili, nisi fallor, erramus, quod mortem iudicamus sequi, cum illa et praecesserit et secutura sit. Quidquid ante nos fuit mors est; quid enim refert non incipias an desinas, cum utriusque rei hic sit effectus, non esse?
[6] His et eiusmodi exhortationibus - tacitis scilicet, nam verbis locus non erat - alloqui me non desii; deinde paulatim suspirium illud, quod esse iam anhelitus coeperat, intervalla maiora fecit et retardatum est. At remansit, nec adhuc, quamvis desierit, ex natura fluit spiritus; sentio haesitationem quandam eius et moram. Quomodo volet, dummodo non ex animo suspirem. [7] Hoc tibi de me recipe: non trepidabo ad extrema, iam praeparatus sum, nihil cogito de die toto. Illum tu lauda et imitare quem non piget mori, cum iuvet vivere: quae est enim virtus, cum eiciaris, exire? Tamen est et hic virtus: eicior quidem, sed tamquam exeam. Et ideo numquam eicitur sapiens quia eici est inde expelli unde invitus recedas: nihil invitus facit sapiens; necessitatem effugit, quia vult quod coactura est. Vale.
◆
My ill-liealth had allowed me a long furlough, when suddenly it resumed the attack. "What kind of ill-health?" you say. And you surely have a right to ask; for it is true that no kind is unknown to me. But I have been consigned, so to speak, to one special ailment. I do not know why I should call it by its Greek name; for it is well enough deseribed as "shortness of breath." Its attack is of very brief duration, like that of a squall at sea; it usually ends within an hour. Who indeed could brcathc his last for long? I have passed through all the ills and dangers of the flesh; but nothing seems to me more troublesome than this. And naturally so; for anything else may be called illness; but this is a sort of continued "last gasp." Hence physicians call it "practising how to die." For some day the breath will succeed in doing what it has so often essayed. Do you think I am writing this letter in a merry spirit, just because I have escaped? It would be absurd to take delight in such supposed restoration to health, as it would be for a defendant to imagine that he had won his case when he had succeeded in postponing his trial. Yet in the midst of my difficult breathing I never ceased to rest secure in cheerful and brave thoughts. What?" I say to myself does death so often <Ep1-361>
test me? Let it do so; I myself have for a long time tested death." {Donne] "When?" you ask. Before I was born. Death is non-existence, and I know already what that means. What was before me will happen again after me. If there is any suffering in this state, there must have been such suffering also in the past, before we entered the light of day. As a matter of fact, however, we felt no discomfort then. And I ask you, would you not say that one was the greatest of fools who believed that a lamp was worse off when it was extinguished than before it was lighted? We mortals also are Iighted and extinguished; the period of suffering comes in between, but on either side there is a deep peace. For, unless I am very much mistaken, my dear Lucilius, we go astray in thinking that death only follows, when in reality it has both preceded us and will in turn follow us. Whatever condition existed before our birth, is death. For what does it matter whether you do not begin at all, or whether you leave off, inasmuch as the result of both these states is non- existence? I have never ceased to encourage myself with cheering counsels of this kind, silently, of course, since I had not the power to speak; then little by little this shortness of breath, already reduced to a sort of panting, came on at greater intervals, and then slowed down and finally stopped. Even by this time, although the gasping has ceased, the breath does not come and go normally; I still feel a sort of hesitation and delay in breathing. Let it be as it pleases, provided there be no sigh from the soul. Accept this assurance from me - I shall never be frightened when the last hour comes; I am already prepared and do not plan a whole day ahead. But do you praise and imitate the man whom it does not <Ep1-363>
Latin / Greek Original
[1] Longum mihi commeatum dederat mala valetudo; repente me invasit. 'Quo genere?' inquis. Prorsus merito interrogas: adeo nullum mihi ignotum est. Uni tamen morbo quasi assignatus sum, quem quare Graeco nomine appellem nescio; satis enim apte dici suspirium potest. Brevis autem valde et procellae similis est impetus; intra horam fere desinit: quis enim diu exspirat? [2] Omnia corporis aut incommoda aut pericula per me transierunt: nullum mihi videtur molestius. Quidni? aliud enim quidquid est aegrotare est, hoc animam egerere. Itaque medici hanc 'meditationem mortis' vocant; facit enim aliquando spiritus ille quod saepe conatus est. Hilarem me putas haec tibi scribere quia effugi? [3] Tam ridicule facio, si hoc fine quasi bona valetudine delector, quam ille, quisquis vicisse se putat cum vadimonium distulit.
Ego vero et in ipsa suffocatione non desii cogitationibus laetis ac fortibus acquiescere. [4] 'Quid hoc est?' inquam 'tam saepe mors experitur me? Faciat: [at] ego illam diu expertus sum.' 'Quando?' inquis. Antequam nascerer. Mors est non esse. Id quale sit iam scio: hoc erit post me quod ante me fuit. Si quid in hac re tormenti est, necesse est et fuisse, antequam prodiremus in lucem; atqui nullam sensimus tunc vexationem. [5] Rogo, non stultissimum dicas si quis existimet lucernae peius esse cum exstincta est quam antequam accenditur? Nos quoque et exstinguimur et accendimur: medio illo tempore aliquid patimur, utrimque vero alta securitas est. In hoc enim, mi Lucili, nisi fallor, erramus, quod mortem iudicamus sequi, cum illa et praecesserit et secutura sit. Quidquid ante nos fuit mors est; quid enim refert non incipias an desinas, cum utriusque rei hic sit effectus, non esse?
[6] His et eiusmodi exhortationibus - tacitis scilicet, nam verbis locus non erat - alloqui me non desii; deinde paulatim suspirium illud, quod esse iam anhelitus coeperat, intervalla maiora fecit et retardatum est. At remansit, nec adhuc, quamvis desierit, ex natura fluit spiritus; sentio haesitationem quandam eius et moram. Quomodo volet, dummodo non ex animo suspirem. [7] Hoc tibi de me recipe: non trepidabo ad extrema, iam praeparatus sum, nihil cogito de die toto. Illum tu lauda et imitare quem non piget mori, cum iuvet vivere: quae est enim virtus, cum eiciaris, exire? Tamen est et hic virtus: eicior quidem, sed tamquam exeam. Et ideo numquam eicitur sapiens quia eici est inde expelli unde invitus recedas: nihil invitus facit sapiens; necessitatem effugit, quia vult quod coactura est. Vale.