Letter 23

LETTER XXIII Sidonius to his dear Proculus, greetings. 1. Your son -- or rather, our shared son -- has come running to me, grieving that in leaving you he has done wrong, overwhelmed by the shame of repentance for his desertion. Upon hearing the nature of his offense, I upbraided the fugitive in hiding with harsh words and a threatening face -- in my own voice, to be sure, but in your stead -- crying out that he deserved disinheritance, crucifixion, the sack, and all the other punishments for parricides. At this the young man blushed in confusion, making no impudent excuses for his error, but as I convicted and rebuked him on every count, he joined tears to his shame -- tears so profuse and so abundant that they gave assurance of the genuineness of the reform to follow. 2. I therefore ask that you be merciful to one who is severe with himself, and that, following God's example, you do not hold as condemnable before your own tribunal one who confesses himself guilty. Even if you were to command him, implacable, to undergo unheard-of punishments, he could not be tortured more by you through pain than he already tortures himself through shame. Free his despair from fear, free my confidence from doubt, and -- if I rightly read the compulsion of paternal love -- free yourself as well, for you are consumed in secret by the same grief that consumes your son in public. I have certainly done him great injury if you, for your part, do him even slight injury -- which assuredly, as I hope, you will not, unless you persist harder than rocks or more unyielding than unbreakable diamonds. 3. If, then, I rightly presume better things from your character and our friendship, grant a propitious pardon to the excused one, whom I firmly pledge, in reconciling him, will be faithful henceforth. And as quickly as his fault is absolved, so am I bound by the favor. I urgently beg you not merely to forgive him but to do so at once, and to admit the returning son not only to your house but to your heart. Great God, what a joyful day will dawn for you, what glad news for me, what relief for his soul, when, flung at his father's feet, from that wounded face, that fearsome face, expecting a rebuke, he receives instead a kiss! Farewell.

EPISTULA XXIII Sidonius Proculo suo salutem. 1. Filius tuus, immo communis ad me cucurrit, qui te relicto deliquisse se maeret, obrutus paenitendi pudore transfugii. igitur audito culpae tenore corripui latitabundum verbis amaris vultu minaci et mea quidem voce sed vice tua dignum abdicatione cruce culleo clamans ceterisque suppliciis parricidalibus. ad haec ille confusus inrubuit, nil impudenti excusatione deprecatus errorem, sed ad cuncta convictum cum redarguerem, verecundiae iunxit comites lacrimas ita profluas ubertimque manantes, ut secuturae correctioni fidem fecerint. 2. rogo ergo sis clemens in se severo et deum sequens non habeas te iudice reum se profitente damnabilem; quem si inaudita genera poenarum iubeas inexoratus excipere, non potest amplius per te dolore quam per se pudore torqueri. libera metu desperationem suam, libera confidentiam meam et, pietatis paternae necessitatem si bene interpretor, te quoque absolve, qui conficeris occulto, quod filius publico maerore conficitur. cui fecisse me constat plurimum iniuriae, si tu tamen vel parum feceris, quam certe, ut spero, non facies, nisi scopulis durior duras aut adamantibus rigidior perseveras insecabilibus. 3. ergo si de moribus tuis deque amicitiis iuste meliora praesumo, excusato propitius indulge, quem reconcilians fore fidelem constanter in posterum spondeo, quoque velociter culpa soluto ego beneficio ligor, magnopere deposcens, non ut ignoscas modo verum ut et protinus, et revertentem non domo solum sed et pectore admittas. deus magne, quam laetus orietur tibi dies, mihi nuntius, animus illi, cum paternis pedibus affusus ex illo ore laeso, ore terribili, dum convicium expectat, osculum exceperit! vale.