Letter 4023: Your son — our son, I should say — has come running to me.
Sidonius Apollinaris→Proculus and Cyllenius|c. 467 AD|Sidonius Apollinaris
friendship
To Proculus.
Your son — our son, I should say — has come running to me. He is anguished at having abandoned you and overwhelmed by the shame of what he has done. When I heard the nature of his offense, I scolded the fugitive with harsh words and a stern face, shouting in my own voice but on your behalf that he deserved disinheritance, the cross, the sack [the ancient Roman penalty for parricide: the convicted man was sewn into a leather sack with a dog, a rooster, a viper, and a monkey, and thrown into the sea], and every other punishment reserved for crimes against a father.
At this he blushed with confusion. He made no insolent excuses for his behavior. But when I pressed every charge against him, he joined his shame to tears that flowed so freely and so abundantly that they gave real assurance of future reform.
So I ask you: be merciful to a boy who is already severe with himself. Follow God's example — do not, as judge, condemn a man who condemns himself. Even if you were to order him to suffer unheard-of punishments, he cannot be more tortured by your anger than he already is by his own shame.
Free his despair from fear. Free my confidence in your goodness. And — if I understand a father's heart correctly — free yourself too: you are being consumed in private by the same grief that consumes him in public.
I firmly guarantee that when you take him back, he will be faithful from now on. Let the speed of his pardon become the bond of my obligation. I earnestly ask not only that you forgive him, but that you forgive him immediately — and that you receive him back not only into your house but into your heart.
Good God, what a day it will be for you, what news for me, what a moment for him — when he throws himself at your feet and from that wounded, fearsome mouth, while he expects a rebuke, he receives a kiss instead! Farewell.
EPISTULA XXIII
Sidonius Proculo suo salutem.
1. Filius tuus, immo communis ad me cucurrit, qui te relicto deliquisse se maeret, obrutus paenitendi pudore transfugii. igitur audito culpae tenore corripui latitabundum verbis amaris vultu minaci et mea quidem voce sed vice tua dignum abdicatione cruce culleo clamans ceterisque suppliciis parricidalibus. ad haec ille confusus inrubuit, nil impudenti excusatione deprecatus errorem, sed ad cuncta convictum cum redarguerem, verecundiae iunxit comites lacrimas ita profluas ubertimque manantes, ut secuturae correctioni fidem fecerint.
2. rogo ergo sis clemens in se severo et deum sequens non habeas te iudice reum se profitente damnabilem; quem si inaudita genera poenarum iubeas inexoratus excipere, non potest amplius per te dolore quam per se pudore torqueri. libera metu desperationem suam, libera confidentiam meam et, pietatis paternae necessitatem si bene interpretor, te quoque absolve, qui conficeris occulto, quod filius publico maerore conficitur. cui fecisse me constat plurimum iniuriae, si tu tamen vel parum feceris, quam certe, ut spero, non facies, nisi scopulis durior duras aut adamantibus rigidior perseveras insecabilibus.
3. ergo si de moribus tuis deque amicitiis iuste meliora praesumo, excusato propitius indulge, quem reconcilians fore fidelem constanter in posterum spondeo, quoque velociter culpa soluto ego beneficio ligor, magnopere deposcens, non ut ignoscas modo verum ut et protinus, et revertentem non domo solum sed et pectore admittas. deus magne, quam laetus orietur tibi dies, mihi nuntius, animus illi, cum paternis pedibus affusus ex illo ore laeso, ore terribili, dum convicium expectat, osculum exceperit! vale.
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To Proculus.
Your son — our son, I should say — has come running to me. He is anguished at having abandoned you and overwhelmed by the shame of what he has done. When I heard the nature of his offense, I scolded the fugitive with harsh words and a stern face, shouting in my own voice but on your behalf that he deserved disinheritance, the cross, the sack [the ancient Roman penalty for parricide: the convicted man was sewn into a leather sack with a dog, a rooster, a viper, and a monkey, and thrown into the sea], and every other punishment reserved for crimes against a father.
At this he blushed with confusion. He made no insolent excuses for his behavior. But when I pressed every charge against him, he joined his shame to tears that flowed so freely and so abundantly that they gave real assurance of future reform.
So I ask you: be merciful to a boy who is already severe with himself. Follow God's example — do not, as judge, condemn a man who condemns himself. Even if you were to order him to suffer unheard-of punishments, he cannot be more tortured by your anger than he already is by his own shame.
Free his despair from fear. Free my confidence in your goodness. And — if I understand a father's heart correctly — free yourself too: you are being consumed in private by the same grief that consumes him in public.
I firmly guarantee that when you take him back, he will be faithful from now on. Let the speed of his pardon become the bond of my obligation. I earnestly ask not only that you forgive him, but that you forgive him immediately — and that you receive him back not only into your house but into your heart.
Good God, what a day it will be for you, what news for me, what a moment for him — when he throws himself at your feet and from that wounded, fearsome mouth, while he expects a rebuke, he receives a kiss instead! Farewell.
Modern English rendering for readability. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek for scholarly use.