Letter 48: Ambrose to Sabinus — greetings in the Lord.

Ambrose to Sabinus — greetings in the Lord. "Judge me, O God, and distinguish my cause from an ungodly nation; deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man" (Psalm 43:1). I have been praying this psalm with particular intensity lately, and you can probably guess why. The psalmist does not ask to be spared from judgment — he asks for it. That is the confidence of a clean conscience. The man who has something to hide fears the judge; the man who has been falsely accused longs for one. "Judge me" is not bravado; it is an appeal to the only court that cannot be corrupted. "For you are the God of my strength; why have you cast me off?" (Psalm 43:2). Even the righteous feel abandoned. Even those who trust God feel the silence of God. The psalms are honest about this in a way that later piety sometimes is not. Faith does not mean feeling God's presence at every moment; it means acting on his promise in the absence of his presence. "Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me" (Psalm 43:3). Light and truth — the psalmist does not ask for ease, or victory, or the destruction of his enemies. He asks for clarity. If I can see the truth, I can endure anything. It is the fog that defeats us, not the battle. You know, brother, that the pressures of this see sometimes drive me to the edge of what I can bear. I am not complaining — I chose this office (or rather, it chose me). But the psalms give voice to what I cannot say from the pulpit, and sharing them with you is itself a form of prayer. May the light and truth of God lead us both. Farewell.

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