Letter 2.13

Your letters are rare - perhaps they do not all reach me - but I receive them with pleasure. The one I received most recently was so prudent, so full of duty and advice. Although I had already decided to do everything exactly as you advised, my plans are strengthened when I see that wise and loyal advisers think the same. I am very fond of Appius, as I have often told you, and I sensed that he began to like me as soon as we laid our quarrel aside. As consul he honored me; as a friend he has been pleasant; and he has shown interest even in my studies. You are witness that my services to him have not been lacking, and now, I think, Phania comes in as a comic witness. By Hercules, I valued Appius even more when I saw that he loved you. You know that I am wholly Pompey's; you understand that I love Brutus. Why should I not wish to embrace a man flourishing in age, wealth, honors, talent, children, relatives, connections by marriage, and friends - especially when he is my colleague and, even in the distinction and learning of our college, devoted to me? I write at greater length about this because your letter hinted at some doubt about my feelings toward him. I suppose you have heard something. If you have, believe me, it is false. My habits and principles in public administration differ somewhat from his way of governing a province. From that, some people may perhaps have suspected that I differ from him through strained feelings, not disagreement in judgment. But I have never done or said anything that I wished to harm his reputation. Since this business and our Dolabella's rashness, I have come forward as a defender against the danger to him. In the same letter you wrote of the "lethargy of the state." I was quite glad, and I rejoiced that our friend had been frozen still by calm conditions. But the last little page, in your own hand, pierced me. What do you say? Curio is now defending Caesar? Who would have thought that, except me? For, as I live, I did think it. Immortal gods, how I miss our laughter. My plan, since I have finished hearing cases, enriched the communities, secured for the tax contractors even the arrears of the last five-year contract without any complaint from the allies, and been agreeable to private persons high and low, was to leave for Cilicia on May 15. Once I had reached the first summer quarters and settled the troops, I meant to leave the province according to the decree of the senate. I long to see you while you are aedile. Rome fills me with extraordinary longing, and so do all my people, and you first of all.

CCLVI (Fam. II, 13) TO M. CAELIUS RUFUS (CURULE AEDILE) LAODICEA, MAY: THOUGH{ your letters are rare (perhaps they don't all reach me), yet I always receive them with delight. For instance, the last received — how sensible it is! How kind and instructive! Though in all points I had made up my mind that I must act as you advise, yet my plans are confirmed when I see that farseeing and faithful advisers agree with me. I am very fond of Appius , as I have often remarked to you in the course of conversation, and I perceived that the moment our quarrel was at an end he began to like me. For when consul he showed me great respect, and as a friend he has made himself agreeable, and has taker great interest in my pursuits. That good services on my side were in truth not wanting you are witness, and are supported now, I think, by Phania coming in pat, like a character in a farce; and, by heaven! I valued him still more from perceiving that he was attached to you. You know that I am now wholly Pompey 's: you understand that Brutus is the object of my warm affection. What is there to prevent my wishing to embrace a man who has all the advantages of youth, wealth, honours, genius, children, relations, marriage connexions, and friends: especially as he is my colleague, and in regard even to the reputation and learning of the college shows great value for me? I write at the greater length on this subject, because your letter hints a kind of doubt as to my feelings towards him. I suppose you have been told something: it is false, believe me, if you have. My official principles and policy present certain points of contrast with his method of administering the province. From that circumstance, perhaps, people have suspected that this contrast arises from estrangement of feeling, not mere difference of opinion. I have, however, never done or said anything with the object of lessening his reputation. Moreover, since this trouble that has come upon him from the rash act of our Dolabella , I am putting myself forward as his apologist and defender. Your letter mentioned “a lethargy on the state.” I am very glad to hear it, and rejoice that our friend has been frozen by the public tranquillity. Your last page, in your own handwriting, was like a dagger in my heart. What! Curio now standing up for Caesar ? Who had ever expected it? No one but myself! For, as I live, I thought that would happen. Immortal gods! How I yearn for the laugh we should have over it together! My intention is, since I have finished hearing my cases, have enriched the states, have secured for the publicani even the arrears of the last quinquennium without a murmur from the allies, and have made myself agreeable to private persons from the highest to the lowest, to start for Cilicia on the 15th of May, and, as soon as I have reached the summer quarters and have got the troops established in them, to quit the province in accordance with the senatorial decree. I desire to see you while still aedile; and the city, as well as all my friends, and you among the first, inspire me with extraordinary longing.

XIII. M. CICERO IMP. S. D. M. CAELIO AEDILI CURULI Laodiceae; in. Mai. 50 Raras tuas quidem (fortasse enim non perferuntur) sed suavis accipio litteras; vel quas proxime acceperam, quam prudentis, quam multi et offici et consili! etsi omnia sic constitueram mihi agenda ut tu admonebas, tamen confirmantur nostra consilia cum sentimus prudentibus fideliterque suadentibus idem videri. Ego Appium, ut saepe tecum locutus sum, valde diligo meque ab eo diligi statim coeptum esse ut simultatem deposuimus sensi. Nam et honorificus in me consul fuit et suavis amicus et studiosus studiorum etiam meorum. Mea vero officia ei non defuisse tu es testis, cui iam κωμικὸς μαρτύς, ut opinor, accedit Phania; et mehercule etiam pluris eum feci quod te amari ab eo sensi. Iam me Pompei totum esse scis, Brutum a me amari intellegis. Quid est causae cur mihi non in optatis sit complecti hominem florentem aetate, opibus, honoribus, ingenio, liberis, propinquis, adfinibus, amicis, collegam meum praesertim et in ipsa collegi laude et scientia studiosum mei? Haec eo pluribus scripsi quod [non] nihil significabant tuae litterae subdubitare qua essem erga illum voluntate. Credo te audisse aliquid. Falsum est, mihi crede, si quid audisti. Genus institutorum et rationum mearum dissimilitudinem non nullam habet cum illius administratione provinciae. Ex eo quidam suspicati fortasse sunt animorum contentione, non opinionum dissensione, me ab eo discrepare. Nihil autem feci umquam neque dixi quod contra illius existimationem esse vellem; post hoc negotium autem et temeritatem nostri Dolabellae deprecatorem me pro illius periculo praebeo. Erat in eadem epistula 'veternus civitatis.' Gaudebam sane et congelasse nostrum amicum laetabar otio. Extrema pagella pupugit me tuo chirographo. Quid ais? Caesarem nunc defendit Curio? Quis hoc putaret, praeter me? Nam, ita vivam, putavi. Di immortales, quam ego risum nostrum desidero! Mihi erat in animo, quoniam iuris dictionem confe ram, civitates locupletaram, publicanis etiam superioris lustri reliqua sine sociorum ulla querela conservaram, privatis, summis infimis, fueram iucundus, proficisci in Ciliciam Non. Mai. et, cum prima aestiva attigissem militemque collocassem, decedere ex senatus consulto. Cupio te aedilem videre miroque desiderio me urbs adficit et omnes mei tuque in primis.