Letter 1003: Faustus, from Ennodius.

Ennodius to Faustus. The case of my longing has been settled by the benefit of complaints: impudence obtained what courtesy was refusing. The diligence of your holy heart, which an artful silence was concealing, I have drawn forth; the taciturnity that had been prepared to feed the flames of my passion, I have ended; by sending forward my worthless pages, I have received the prize of one who surpasses me. So does the rich earth repay usury to the farmer by yielding its breast after the sod has been broken, and from solitary seeds the clod brings forth a noble crop; so do the mountain fastnesses reply to one man's voice, and while a narrow shout is overcome, the elements reveal their strength. Having obeyed the oracles of the Gospel by such an act, I have gained a fragment from the sacred truth of the commandment, whose teaching declares that God often rises and gives to the one who knocks — if not for merit, then for importunity. Away henceforth with the ill-guarded scrutiny of the faithless: I bear personal witness, fit in the face of present dangers, that the sentence is sound. By frequent prayer I obtained what I desired: what was denied to examination was granted to the persistence of entreaties. I owe you my friendship, my complaints, which — since you grant effect to my wishes — I shall love all the more. Though your origin comes from a just grief, after what you have bestowed I shall often begin afresh from you, even uninjured. Embracing the soothing plea of epistolary address, I give and render thanks that you did not wish me to be long a partner in sorrows. Perhaps you did this from the desire and zeal of one who looks out for another; but I ascribe it to my own sins that, while you restrained your speech, I was tossed by still greater anguish from greater troubles. For me alone things turn out adversely, since in my grief I always reckon worse what is kept silent, for I believe that words are often shared about moderate sicknesses, while the nearness of death imposes a silence soon to be broken. Thanks be to God, who by His clemency turns to good what is reckoned harsh, and causes what we gathered would come upon us through our own deserving to be transferred by His compassion. I would have wished, however, that your dignity had maintained such affection toward my littleness that you would have chosen to share adversity as well with the one you have often made a companion in joys. Or do you think I shall count it as a benefit if I am shut out from the storms of your heart as though I were untrustworthy? As I see it, the reckoning of my counsel has not been wisely managed among you. I consider favor lost to me unless you nourish it by sharing all things with me. Cease, I beg, to spare me in this part — I who long for your words — for if the speech I desire is denied, I shall wither like soil on which nothing drips from heaven and which does not fill its veins with the moisture of drinking rain, whence it might furnish nourishment to native stalks and bring heavy ears to the sickle. As a fish, dragged from water and deprived of the garments of life, perishes, so I, when the streams of your converse are withdrawn, am destroyed. Let others seek what delights; I demand things that touch the soul: your words do not so much bring me pleasure as salvation. I confess a thing colored with no deceits, painted with no clouds of falsehood, for I am no artist of pretense: I judged that something was taken from my life while you kept silence. You call yourselves faithful, yet through you only the woes that ought to be universally lamented reach my ears — as though it were permitted for any Christian to be ignorant of an evil to which Rome succumbs. Barbarian nations, separated from our border by nearly the whole world, I surmise are groaning with continual laments and lending their tears to our consolation. Your greatness has avoided offering itself as a reporter of this matter, so that, to my ruin, the diabolical wishes of deceitful messengers may lie at ease, and there may be no one to whose truth I might return after fables, no one to sustain my spirit with a demonstration of the truth. Take care, my lord: with you I stand on different terms; the law of the forum is one thing, the law of the dining room another. Let your household hear you recount what you have learned in public affairs: feed the hearts of your subjects — those faithful minds, as you reckon them — with the food of your reports, lest the fasting hearts of friends, unfed with such courses, perish.

III. FAVSTO ENNODIVS. Acta est causa desiderii mei beneficio querelarum: meruit inpudentia quod negabat urbanitas. diligentiam sancti pectoris, 1-debram iB 2 in \\B, om. LPTV gimnasiis T, gemnawM aB 3 nuquam LV 6-cometee B, cometem P, aomitom b Bydos : T b 7 ego BLPTV, ergo b iaprobus. B, improbqs LTV 8 fidatia LT nentus B 10 pacud ferratis L 12 amantes B, amantis LPTVb prouocentem B proccacitatem b dampna LP 18 medii T sinebus B, senibus V corr m 1 14 circa] cura T conticifiee B praeualis lB 15 multttur B, multemus LPTV, mulcemur & loquatitate-L J6 ierte- Bnari b is imparem LTV ut solent ^19 dominum BTb finola B quaemrellas B 20 studes B o in ras . III. 22 Ennodius Feusto b i quaewllarum B 24 impudentia LTV quam artifex silentium tegebat, elicui: taciturnitatem, quae ad fomenta ardoris mei parata fuerat, terminaui: prorogando uiles paginas pretium uincentis accepi. sic usuram cultori uexatis reddit uber terra cespitibus et feturam nobilem de singularibus parturit gleba germinibus: sic ad uocem unius hominis montium secreta respondent et dum angustus clamor uincitur, ualitudinem suam elementa manifestant. euangelicis tali facto obeeeutus oraculis frustum de praecepti sam ueritate sortitus, cuius declarat instructio, quod pulsanti saepe surgat et tribuat deus; si non propter meritum, uel propter inportunitatem. facessat posthac infidelium male cauta discussio: integritati sententiae periclis praesentibus idoneus mihi testis adstipulor. frequenti oratione optata promerui: concessum est precum adsiduitati quod negabatur examini. debeo uobis amicitiam, querimoniae meae, quas, dum uotis effectum tribuitis, plus amabo. fuerit licet origo uestra a iusto dolore ueniens, frequenter a uobis, postquam praestitistis, etiam inlaesus incipiam. delenificam allegationem amplexus epistularis alloquii ago atque habeo gratias, quod me diu tristium noluistis esse participem. fecistis hoc forsitan uoto et studio consulentis: sed adscribo peccatis meis, quod maioribus, dum temperatis alloquio, sum iactatus angoribus. mihi uni in aduersum prouisa contingunt, dum grauiora semper in maerore aestimo quae tacentur, quia credo quod de mediocribus saepe communicentur uerba languoribus, cum proximitas funeris imperet silentia cito 2 fuerant L 3 precium LT, praetium B ogoram B s rtJI. 4 ueiatiB B uber om. b et simu caeepitibus B, cospistibus L\' 7 elimenta B, aelem«ita LV, et eiementa P b 9 sortius L\' 10 deui et tribuat LPTVb importuBitatem LTV 11 dacuaio hl 12 sententise sine Pb periculia PTb idoneis B 13 aetipulbr LTV 14 assiduitati 1TV 16 quaerimoniae B quas B, quam LPTYb tribuites B 16 orago L\' 17 illenu T 18 delenifica cft T epistolarii T w rGl . m. U eloqull LPTVb 20 fecissetis 11 21 ascnbo LTV 22 iSfhi T et tie saepissima 23 merorv BLTV 24 cemuneoMtw T 25 langoribus BL\'r rumpenda. deo gratias, qui ea quae dura aestimantur clementia bene uertit et quae ex merito nostro uentura collegimus ex sua facit miseratione transferri. uoluissem tamen talem circa paruitatem meam dignatio uestra tenuisset affectum, ut quem comitem saepe gaudiis adhibuistis cum eo elegissetis etiam aduersa partiri. an putatis tale beneficium in acceptum me esse relaturum, si ab aestibus pectoris uestri tamquam male fidelis excludar? non est, ut uideo, apud uos mei ratio dispensata consilii. ego mihi perire gratiam puto, nisi eam rerum omnium uobiscum communicatione nutriatis. desinite, quaeso, in hac mihi parte consulere uestra inpendio uerba cupienti cui si uotiui negentur affatus, fatiscam, ut terra cui caelo nihil liquitur nec uenas suas suco bibuli humoris infundit, unde innatis alimenta culmis exhibeat et ad falcem grauidas aristas adducat. ut piscis aqua abstractus uitalibus indumentis priuatus extinguitur, sic ego subductis alloquii uestri fluentis interimor. quaerant alii quod delectet, ego res ad animam pertinentes expostulo: mihi non tam delicias uerba uestra pariunt quam salutem. rem fateor nullis coloratam fucis, nullis nebularum depictam mendaciis, quia non sum simulandi artifex: decerptum aliquid uitae meae censui, dum tacetis. male uos fideles adseritis, si ad aures meas generaliter deflenda per uos deferantur incommoda, quasi nescire alicui Christiano liceat malum, cui Roma subcumbit. barbaras nationes et a nostro limite toto pene orbe discretas, continuis haec conicio lamentis ingemescere et ad solacium nostrum lacrimas commodare. huius rei magnitudo uestra adhibere se indicem fugit, ut in 1 existimUltur b 2 colligimus T 3 quod talem Pb 7 eetibus B peccoris T tanquam TV 9 gratiam perire T 10 nutriaris LlT designite Pb 11 impendio LTV 12 qui b fatiscam B, fatiscat LPTVb 13 nil T liquitur B, linquitur LPVb, linqui*t T saooo Tb umoris L 15 aristat Lx ut uidetwr 16 udstria B fluentis B 8. I. 18 dilicias B 20 non] si//// T 21 decertum L 22 asseritis T, adseretia B, aagerimus Pb 24 subcumbet B, \'succumbit LPTV 26 discretas B, diuisas LPTVb conitio T 26 ingemiscere TPb solacium BPT, solatium LV 27 ad*ibere L h eras. iudicem Pb perniciem meam fallacium nuntiorum diabolica cum securitate uota mentiantur, ut non sit ad cuius ueritatem post fabulas redeam nec qui animum meum ueri demonstratione sustentet. caue faxis, mi domine: uobiscum mihi alia res est: aliud fori ius, aliud triclinii. audiat te quae in conuersatione publica didiceris familia domestica retexentem: subiectorum animos et fideles ut putatis mentes relationum uestrarum cibis alite, ne ieiuna amicorum corda talibus ferculis inpasta moriantur.