Letter 1014: Faustus, from Ennodius.

Ennodius to Faustus. I would prefer, I confess, not to disclose the reasons for my delays, lest my mind, brought back at last into peace together with gladness, be again troubled by a mournful account, and lest I have, in the telling, a revival of the beginning of my sorrow. For he almost owes his straits to himself who does not shrink from reading over again things that are past. Who would renew his anxieties, once they have been brought to their end, by the compulsion of an ill-timed discourse? But with you, and in accord with the established order of things, I keep faith, to whom sincerity is owed in any reply, for whatever cause. I willingly endure the stings of a grief called back, provided that nothing be lost to the truth, and lest through the fault of a tender mind I should dishonor the page with falsehood, I willingly bring forward what I report. The salvation of the holy bishop, your father, almost brought into doubt, held me fast; and although the whole church wept at his sickness, yet a special grief afflicted me, who owe more to his love. I saw the peace of the city, with discord pressing upon it, crossing over the threshold of our town and slipping away from our eyes like some uncertain or wandering divine power. But let a brief narration suffice for sad matters. Now to good health: the salvation of the holy father, to be wished for and to be cherished, draws breath again. For when my mind returned to its station, at once it looked back to your commands. I have appointed servants who may fully instruct me with a faithful account concerning the prosperity of your eminence and of the whole holy house. Again I am in suspense, and I am drawn apart between hope and fear in a doubtful reckoning, I to whom it is necessary to be anxious about the prosperity of another parent. Who could extend himself to my cares? Who could equal the turmoil of one torn apart by such a division? But these things are more justly carried back to God, whose clemency it is to overcome the prayers of suppliants and to prepare a harbor for wavering desires. Meanwhile I return to my accustomed complaints. I suggest that your pages ought at once to have followed close upon me, and that writings should be prolonged for my comfort, and on account of my recent petition, lest my mind should hang in suspense, hearing nothing certain about your journey. But I believe this fault of writing can be amended by frequency. It remains that the Divinity may cause those things to be made known to me by you which it is a joy to learn. My lord, offering greeting to your reverence, I pray that the things which I have charged to be suggested may obtain their effect.

XIIII. FAVSTO ENNODIVS. Nollem, fateor, morarum causas aperire, ne animus meus sera in pacem cum laetitia reductus maesta iterum relatione turbetur et habeam tristitiae meae rediuiuum in narratione 1 quia] qua B b; Qua sermonis f. p. t. silentium ? Sirm . 2 decidentem malim delinire Bb 3 mi BT, mihi LV, om. Pb tuae om. L 4 post imaginibus plus linea dimidia erasa in B malefacta T ta m ras . colloquiis LTV 5 re] te Sirm, discenderit B poterit Pb loquellam B 6 quod] quam T contemsisti BL V 8 discendendum L\'T, deecedendum B is male] alter add. B fasces ad T 13 attolBtur LPTV ourie inter T 14 sera inclusi 16 quondam] aurea condam B 17 etiam T in ras. m. 2 18 dampno L promiu* B xnu. 23 meeta BLPTV principium. paene enim sibi debet angustias suas qui earum relegere transacta non refugit. quis ad calcem perductas anxietates suas reparet intempestiui necessitate sermonis P sed uobiscum mihi et cum proposito rerum fides est, quibus debetur in replications ex quacumque causa sinceritas. patior libens aculeos reuocati maeroris, dummodo ueritati nil pereat, et ne per uitium tenerae mentis paginam falsitate dehonestem, sponte fero quod refero. sancti episcopi patris uestri prope in dubium salus deducta me tenuit, in cuius aegritudine quamuis cuncta inlacrimaret ecclesia, me tamen specialis maeror adflixit, qui eius debeo plus amori. uidi pacem ciuitatis urguente discordia urbis nostrae limina transcendentem et ab oculis nostris quasi incertum aliquod aut uagum numen elapsam. sed sufficiat tristibus stricta narratio. iam ad bonam ualitudinem. sancti patris salus optanda et diligenda respirat. nam ubi mens mea ad stationem rediit, statim iussa respexit. pueros destinaui, qui fideli me de prosperitate culminis uestri uel totius sanctae domus relatione perdoceant. pendeo rursus et inter spem et metum dubia aestimatione distringor, cui necesse est de alterius parentis esse prosperitate sollicitum. quis ad curas meas se porrigat ? quis aestus aequiperare ualeat tali diuisione distracti? sed haec ad deum iustius reportantur, cuius clementiae est uota uincere supplicantum et fluctuantibus portum parare desideriis. interim ad usum reuertor querelarum. paginas uestras ilico me suggero subsequi debuisse et ad solacium meum uel propter recentem petitionem scripta prorogari, ne 1 pene TV debet sibi L1T1V1 (corr. m. 1 in LTV) 2 non re fugit V corr. m. 1 anxiętatea L 8 reparet (i. e . reparaNt) T 4 fldie B quibna T in ras . m. II 6 meroris BPTV, meroria eso memoria? L corr. 8 noatri Pb 9 egri- » tudina B 10 meror LV, mer.or T 11 urgente T discordie V a tupra acr. M . 1 13 nagum T s. l. m. 2 14 stricta T in ras. m. 2 19 atematione B 21 saequi perare B, equipare PT, aequiparare b 24 Bsum B quqrelartun L, quaerillarum B 25 soiadum PV, solatium BLTb 26 seribta B in ancipiti de profectione uestra animus meus pependisset auditu. sed hanc credo culpam scriptionis emendari posse frequentia. superest ut diuinitas a uobis ea indicari faciat quae iuuat agnosci. domine mi, effusam salutem reuerentiae uestrae dicens precor, ut quae mandaui suggerenda adipiscantur effectum.