Letter 178: We were not ourselves when you were visiting.

To Ambrosius. (360) We were not ourselves when you were staying with us, but that season was driving us into the greatest confusion, taking away already the greatest and finest and most precious things, and threatening an equal fear concerning those that remained. But not even now are we in our customary condition, even if we seem to be; for to lament and to groan was no part of our usual ways, and yet we are in the midst of these. The difference is only this much: that now we do this while conversing with our friends, whereas then it was not even permitted to converse. If, then, anything owed to you was overlooked, and I departed without addressing you, attribute this to the spirit of that time, which constrained us in everything. For even sailors have sailed past a headland that holds a temple, where they were accustomed to sacrifice, without disembarking, when the storm-blast forbade them. Now toward another man it would have required many words from me, as I attempted to demonstrate the power of circumstance; but you, who philosophize on such matters countless times in your fictions, and not seldom upon the very truth itself, would teach about circumstance rather than learn about it. For this reason I leave to you the defense for what seemed to be my negligence, and if anyone brings a charge, refute it. But concerning this young man, this fellow-citizen of yours, why should I appeal to you? For you know both of what stock he is and what kind of man he is, and knowing these things you will not endure that your comrade should receive more kindness from another.

Ἀμβροσίῳ. (360) Οὐκ ἦμεν ἡμῶν αὐτῶν, ὅτε ἡμῖν ἐπεδήμεις, ἀλλ’ ὁ και- ρὸς ἐκεῖνος τεθορυβημένους ἤλαυνε τὰ μέγιστα καὶ κάλλιστα καἰ τιμιώτατα τὰ μὲν ἤδη παραιρούμενος, περὶ δὲ τῶν τὸν ἴσον ἐπιφέρων φόβον. ἀλλ᾿ οὐδὲ νῦν γε ἐν τοῖς εἰωθόσιν ἐσμέν, εἰ καὶ δοκοῦμεν· τὸ γὰρ ὀδύρεσθαι καὶ στένειν οὐκ ἦν τῶν εἰωθότων, ἡμεῖς δὲ ἐν τούτοις. διαφέρει δὲ τοσοῦ- τον, ὅσον νῦν μὲν τοῖς φίλοις ὁμιλοῦντες τοῦτο ποιοῦμεν, τότε δὲ οὐδὲ ὁμιλεῖν ἐξῆν. εἰ οὖν τι παρώφθη τῶν πρὸς σὲ καὶ οὐ προσειπὼν ἀπεδήμησα, τοῦ πνεύματος τοῦτο τίθει τοῦ τότε βιαζομένου πάντως. ἤδη δὲ καὶ πλωτῆρες ἄκραν ἱερὸν ἔχουσαν, οὗ θύειν εἰώθεσαν, παρέπλευσαν οὐκ ἀποβάν- τες κωλυούσης αἰγίδος. πρὸς μὲν οὖν ἄλλον πολλῶν ἂν ἐδέησέ μοι λόγων δεικνύναι πειρωμένῳ καιροῦ δύναμιν, σὺ δὲ μυρία μὲν ἐν πλάσμασιν, οὐκ ὀλίγα δὲ ἐπ’ αὐτῆς τῆς ἀλη- θείας τοιαῦτα φιλοσοφεῖς, διδάσκοις δ’ ἂν μᾶλλον ἢ περὶ και- ροῦ μανθάνοις. διόπερ σοι τὴν ὡς ἐδόκουν ῥᾳθυμεῖν ἀπολο- γίαν ἀφίημι, κἂν ἐγκαλῇ τις, λύε περὶ δὲ τοῦ νεανίσκου τοῦδε τοῦ σοῦ πολίτου τί ἄν σε παρακαλοίην; καὶ γὰρ ὧν ἐστι καὶ οἷός ἐστιν οἶσθα καὶ ταῦτα εἰδὼς οὐκ ἀνέξῃ πλείω παρ’ ἄλλου τὸν ἑταῖρον εὖ παθεῖν.