Letter 387: I want my friends, whatever they say, to be seen as speaking the truth.

To Anatolius. (355) I should wish that those who are my friends, whatever they may say, should be thought to speak the truth; and you I both enroll among the first of my close companions and contrive that you may be far removed from speaking falsely. It was, then, my good friend, out of care for this that I have kept silent up to the present time. For I saw that, if I wrote at once, you would be a liar, but that, if I did not write, you would be cleared of the charge; and so I adorned you with my silence. You, however, as though you had been wronged, bring an accusation and forgo praising me. I seem to you to be speaking a riddle. Hear it, then, plainly. When you wrote that first letter, you wounded us with not a few jests, and at the close you added that you had, as it were, swept us away in your writing, and an oath was attached. I considered, then, how this might seem to have been rightly said by you and you might appear cleanly victorious. But a clear victory is that the very man who has been defeated does not behave shamelessly, as though he had not been overcome; and this man, by not writing, admits that he has been defeated, in that he has nothing to write. You have, then, this crown also, in addition to that one given to you for your justice. And two victories the noble Anatolius has carried off over us: the one as the best of judges, the other as the mightiest of sophists; the first with all men singing it, but the second from me, which you would say is not the inferior one. I seem to see you laughing, and to hear you shouting and letting fly some of those phrases that are your habit. For you would not come to this part without doing these things. Let the matter of jesting, then, be bounded here, though it is altogether necessary, even when writing, to jest just as if one were in company; but the real cause on account of which I write slowly I will now render. I knew that you would wish to hear something great about us, befitting the city and befitting the hopes by which I was moved when I came. So long, then, as this did not yet come to pass, I thought it right to delay; but since there is now something of such a kind, I write. For at the first we entered among men who did not believe that they would survive. And, so that you may not say, "Why then did you enter?"—for it was not without danger to turn back. Then, when the one who caused fear had departed, I, having escaped the death of which you have heard, after many discourses which the summer received, opened a school, and envy breathed bright against me. But knowing that it is not possible to bury it otherwise than by discourses, I neglected my body and all the things in which it takes pleasure, bidding them farewell, but I took thought how I might relax nothing in my speaking. Yet to the best of our citizens the much did not seem much; rather, I thought that they had been wearied, while they seemed like men who had not tasted of it. As for the young men, some had never before associated with sophists, while others, leaving those with whom they had been associating, were ranged under us—some coming forward from here, and not a few came in from abroad. But not yet is all happiness, with you at any rate absent; for, were you present, these things would have been greater. And the very fact of your being present is better than all the prosperity that concerns these matters. But I was consoled by your being summoned to an office which seems to be the chief of offices; and we Syrians boast greatly to the Romans that we furnish a man clever at ordering the affairs of cities. As for your fleeing this labor, it was indeed open to me to hear of it, but least of all to believe it—not that I think you a place-hunter, for to a man for whom offices are the resources of poverty, how would he pursue ruling? But they say that Rome is divided and that the many are ill-disposed toward the Senate, and that you feared this, reckoning that you would grieve either the people or the best men. This fear I am not persuaded belongs to your soul. For indeed I see that the foremost of charioteers mount with confidence a chariot of rather disobedient horses, knowing that they possess a stronger art than the badness of those horses. And ere now a certain helmsman, when the sea had risen, cast off and put out to sea, trusting to prevail by his art over the storm. May the emperor, then, send you off graciously, and may Mena receive you graciously, and after these things may we have something brilliant from brilliant deeds; but me the city draws back again—the city that, when I am present, does not make use of me, but seeks me when I am absent. Do you, then, whatever you can, help, and stop your anger, and say that I am ill. And you will not lie in saying it; for we have drunk drugs, the kind that are drunk in the greatest extremity, and I had a vein cut, contrary to my custom, which prevented the death that was approaching.

Ἀνατολίῳ. (355) Εγὼ τοὺς ὄντας μοι φίλους βουλοίμην, ἅττα ἂν λέγω- σιν, ἀληθῆ δοκεῖν λέγειν σὲ δὲ ἐν πρώτοις τε γράφομαι τῶν ἐπιτηδείων καὶ ὅπως πόρρω εἴης τοῦ ψεύδεσθαι ποιῶ. τού- του οὖν, ὦ ’γαθέ, κηδόμενος ἐσίγων τὸν ἄχρι τοῦδε χρόνον. ἴδει γὰρ εὐθὺς μὲν ἐμοῦ γράφοντος ψεύστην εἶναι σέ, μὴ γράφοντος δὲ καθαρεύειν τῆς αἰτίας, ὥστε σε ἐκόσμησα τῇ σιγῇ. σὺ δὲ ὡς ἠδικημένος ἐγκαλεῖς ἐπαινεῖν ἀφείς. αἴνιγμά σοι δοκῶ λέγειν. ἄκουε δῆτα σαφῶς. σὺ τὴν πρώτην ἐκει- νην γράφων ἐπιστολὴν σκώμμασί τε ἡμᾶς ἔτρωσας οὐκ ὀλί- γοις καὶ τελευτῶν ἐπέθηκας ὡς κατασύραις ἡμᾶς ἐν τοῖς γράμ- μασι, καὶ ὅρκος ἐπῆν. ἐσκόπουν οὖν, ὅπως ἄν σοι τοῦτο ὀρθῶς εἰρῆσθαι δοκοῖ καὶ νικῶν φαίνοιο καθαρῶς. νίκη δὲ σαφὴς τὸ μηδ’ αὐτὸν τὸν ἡττημένον ἀναισχυντεῖν, ὡς ἄρα οὐ κεκράτηται, ὃ δὴ μὴ γράφων ὁμολογεῖ νενικῆσθαι τῷ μὴ ἔχειν ὅ τι γράψειεν. ἔχεις οὖν καὶ τουτονὶ τὸν στέφανον ἐπ’ ἐκείνῳ τῷ διὰ δικαιοσύνην σοι δεδομένῳ. καὶ δύο νίκας ἡμῖν ὁ καλὸς Ἀνατόλιος ἀνῄρηται, τὴν μὲν ὡς ἄριστος δικα- στῶν, τὴν δὲ ὡς κράτιστος σοφιστῶν, τὸ μὲν ἁπάντων ᾀδόν- των, ἐμοῦ δὲ τὸ δεύτερον, ὃ σὺ φαίης ἂν οὐκ εἶναι φαυλότε- ρον. ὁρᾶν δοκῶ σε γελῶντα καὶ ἀκούειν βοῶντος καί τινα ἀφιέντος ῥήματα τῶν εἰωθότων. οὐ γὰρ ἂν σύ γε τοῦτο τὸ μέρος ἄνευ τοῦ ταῦτα ποιεῖν ἐπέλθοις. τὸ μὲν οὖν τῆς παιδιᾶς ἐνταῦθα ὡρίσθω, πάντως δὲ δεῖ καὶ ἐπιστέλλοντι παί- ζειν ὡσπεροῦν συνόντι, τὴν δὲ οὖσαν αἰτίαν ὑφ’ ἧς βραδέως ἐπιστέλλω νῦν ἀποδώσω. ᾔδειν ὅτι μέγα τι περὶ ἡμῶν ἐθε- λήσεις ἀκοῦσαι πρέπον μὲν τῇ πόλει, πρέπον δὲ ταῖς ἐλπίσιν, ὑφ’ ὧν κινηθεὶς ἧκον. ἕως μὲν οὖν οὔπω τοῦτο ἀπήντα, μέλ- λειν ᾤμην δεῖν· ἐπεὶ δὲ ἔστι τι καὶ τοιοῦτον, γράφω. τὸ μὲν γὰρ πρῶτον εἰσήλθομεν εἰς ἄνδρας οὐ πιστεύοντας ὅτι βιώσονται. καὶ ὅπως μὴ εἴπῃς· τί οὖν εἰσῆλθες; οὐ γὰρ ἀκίνδυνον ἀναστρέφειν. ἔπειτα τοῦ φοβοῦντος ἀπελ- θόντος διαφυγὼν ἐγὼ θάνατον, ὃν ἀκήκοας, ἐπὶ πολλοῖς λό- γοις, οὓς τὸ θέρος ἐδέξατο, διδασκαλεῖον ἀνέῳξα καὶ ὁ φθό- νος ἔπνει λαμπρός. εἰδὼς δὲ ὅτι οὐκ ἔστιν αὐτὸν ἄλλως ἡ λόγοις καταχῶσαι, τοῦ σώματος μὲν ἠμέλουν καὶ ὅσοις τοῦτο ἥδεται, χαίρειν εἴων, τοῦ δὲ ὅπως μηδὲν ἀνήσω λέγων, ἐφρόν- τῖσα. τοῖς βελτίστοις δὲ ἡμῶν πολίταις τὰ πολλὰ οὐ πολλὰ ἐδόκει, ἀλλ’ ἐγὼ μὲν αὐτοὺς ἡγούμην ἠνωχλῆσθαι, οἱ δὲ ἀγεύστοις ἐῴκεσαν. νέοι δὲ οἱ μὲν οὔπω πρότερον ὡμιλη- κότες σοφισταῖς, οἱ δὲ οἷς ὡμίλουν ἀφέντες ὑφ’ ἡμῖν ἐτάτ- τοντο, οἱ μὲν ἐνθένδε προσιόντες, οὐκ ὀλίγοι δ’ ἐπῆλθον. ἀλλ’ οὔπω πάντα εὐδαιμονία σοῦ γε ἀπόντος· οὗ παρόν- τος ταῦτά γε ἦν ἂν μείζω. καὶ αὐτό γε τὸ παρεῖναί σε πάσης τῆς περὶ ταῦτα εὐπραξίας ἄμεινον. παρεμυθεῖτο δέ με τὸ κεκλῆσθαί σε πρὸς ἀρχήν, ἣ κεφάλαιον ἀρχῶν εἶναι δοκεῖ, καὶ μεγαλαυχούμεθά γε Σύροι Ῥωμαίοις παρέχοντες ἄνδρα δεινὸν κοσμῆσαι πόλεων πράγματα. τὸ δ’ ὡς φεύγεις τοῦ- τὸν τὸν πόνον, ἀκοῦσαι μὲν ὑπῆρξέ μοι, πιστεῦσαι δὲ ἥκιστα, οὐχ ὅτι σε οἴομαι σπουδαρχίδην, ᾧ γὰρ αἱ ἀρχαὶ πενίας ἀφορ- μαί, πῶς ἂν τὸ ἄρχειν διώκοι; ἀλλὰ διεστάναι δή φασι τὴν Ρώμην καὶ τοὺς πολλοὺς δυσκόλως ἔχειν πρὸς τὴν βουλήν, σὲ δὲ τοῦτο δεῖσαι λογιζόμενον, ὡς ἡ τὸν δῆμον ἢ τοὺς βελ- τίστους ἀνιάσεις. τοῦτον ἐγὼ τὸν φόβον οὐ πείθομαι τῆς σῆς εἶναι ψυχῆς. καὶ γὰρ καὶ τῶν ἡνιόχων τοὺς ἄκρους ὁρῶ θαρρούντως ἀναβαίνοντας ἅρμα ἵππων ἀπειθεστέρων εἰδότας, ὡς ἰσχυροτέραν κέκτηνται τέχνην τῆς ἐπείνων κακίας. ἤδη δέ τις καὶ κυβερνήτης ἐγηγερμένης θαλάττης λύσας ἀνήχθη πι- στεύων περιέσεσθαι τῇ τέχνῃ τῆς ζάλης. σὲ μὲν οὖν ἵλεως πέμψειε βασιλεύς, ἵλεως δὲ Μῆνά δέξαιτο καὶ μετὰ ταῦτα ἡμεῖς λαμπρὸν ἀπὸ λαμπρῶν ἔργων῾· ἐμὲ δὲ ἕλκει πά- λιν ἡ πόλις ἡ παρόντι μὲν οὐ χρωμένη, ζητοῦσα δὲ ἀπόντα. σὺ δ’ ὅ τι ἂν ἔχῃς βοῄθε καὶ παῦε τὸν θυμὸν καὶ ὡς ἀρρωστῶ λέγε. καὶ οὐ ψεύσῃ λέγων· φάρμακά τε γὰρ πεπώ- καμεν, ἃ ἐν μεγίστῳ κακῷ πίνεται φλέβα τε ἐτμήθην οὐκ εἰωθώς, ὃ προσιοῦσαν ἐκώλυσε τὴν τελευτήν.