Letter 884

To Agapetus the Deacon. I have heard you say many times, as also now: "What shall I do? For I long to weep and to mourn over my sins, and I force myself to this, and no tear comes into my eye; but, grieved in my heart over this alone, I groan. And if I behold another sweetly weeping in Christ, I am assailed with envy of him." To which I say that it is profitable to desire tears at all; for through this very desire, entreating God and asking for pardon and salvation, one is heard, according to what is said: "You have heard the desire of the poor, O Lord." And to the governing part, that is, to the kingly mind, it says: "You have given him the desire of his heart." For just as he who has desired a woman has already committed adultery in his heart, so also he who has desired some thing, whether good or evil, has already accomplished it in his mind. "And he will confess to you," it says, to you who see the things within the heart: "Confess, for the thought of man shall confess to you," it says; and such a desire of yours will be reckoned to you as a sacrifice, and God will rank it as incense, and he will say to his angels concerning the soul, to those who wish to drag it away from the feet of the Savior on account of its unworthiness: "Let her be, for her heart is afflicted and full of pain." Such is what is written also concerning the Israelites, once corrupted in the impieties of Egypt. For God says to Moses that "I see the afflicted one, whom the Egyptians afflict," and their life is full of pain, "and I have heard their groaning, and I have come down to deliver them." See that he testifies to them no other good work, except only that they were humbled and were groaning, and through this alone they drew to themselves the friendship of God; for it was not in purity, but in humility, that the Lord remembered us, and redeemed us from the Egyptians and from the most bitter Pharaoh. Now Pharaoh is for us the devil, the hater of mankind, who from the beginning is a murderer of men. And Egypt is baseness and sin; the taskmasters are the demons; and the affliction is transgression. And again the Prophet: "The Lord is near to those who are broken in heart, and he will save the humble in spirit." And again: "Upon whom shall I look, but upon the meek and quiet one, and him who trembles at my words?" There is also a natural constitution in certain people that does not readily yield tears. What then must one do who desires tears? I will tell you. If you cannot weep through the eyes that are seen, make your mind, just as you have often beheld it weeping in sleep, weep also while waking, weeping before God in thought, and with unrestrained tears; and you will be able to be cleansed from your sins. To which the Psalmist also exhorts, saying: "Pour out your hearts before him." But I know some who did not stop even at this point, but through a certain faith and supplication turned the spiritual rock into pools of waters. For continually pricking the heart often with the word of Christ our God, and with the remembrance of the wonders of God, they prepared the stream of tears to gush forth outwardly from within, from stony eyes. But if you yourself, being unable to attain such grace as those men enjoyed, see another weeping in his prayers, glorify the Lord over this, saying: "I thank you, Lord my God, that you have deprived me of such a gift, which delivers from evil and purifies, but have granted it to my brother as a favor. Multiply your grace upon him, O Master, unto the end; for my brother is a member of me; and when one member is glorified, all the members rejoice together." If you are so disposed toward your brother, and make your judgment cheerful toward him, you become a sharer with him in that very gift which he has acquired, and the crown will be common to both, if these things come to pass for the sake of Christ.

Ἠκουσά σου πολλάκις, ὥσπερ καὶ νῦν, λέγοντος Τί ποιήσω, ὅτι ἐπιθυμῶ τοῦ κλαῦσαι καὶ πενθῆσαι ἐπὶ ταῖς ἁμαρτίαις μου, καὶ βιάζομαι ἐμαυτὸν εἰς τοῦτο, καὶ οὐκ ἔρχεται εἰς ὀφθαλμόν μου δάκρυον· μόνον δὲ ἐπὶ τοῦτο ὀδυνώμενος τὴν καρδίαν στένω; Ἐὰν δὲ ἄλλον ἐν Χριστῷ γλυκέως δακρύοντα θεάσωμαι, πολεμοῦμαι εἰς φθόνον αὐτοῦ. Πρὸς ὅπερ φημί, ὅτι ὠφέλιμόν ἐστι τὸ ὅλως ἐπιθυμεῖν δακρύων· καὶ δι’ αὐτῆς γάρ τῆς ἐπιθυμίας ἐντυγχάνων θεῷ, καὶ αἰτούμενος συγχώρησιν καὶ σωτηρίαν, εἰσακούεται κατὰ τὸ εἰρημένον· « Τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν τῶν πενήτων εἰσήκουσας, Κύριε. » Καὶ τῷ ἡγεμονικῷ, τουτέστι τῷ βασιλεῖ νοῒ, φησί· « Τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν τῆς καρδίας αὐτοῦ ἔδωκας αὐτῷ. » Ὥσπερ γὰρ ὁ ἐπιθυμήσας γυναικός, ἤδη ἐμοίχευσεν ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ· οὕτως καὶ ὁ ἐπιθυμήσας τι πρᾶγμα, εἴτε καλὸν εἴτε κακόν, ἤδη ἐπλήρωσεν αὐτὸ ἐν τῇ διανοίᾳ αὐτοῦ. Καὶ ἐξομολογήσεταί σοι, φησί, ὁρῶντι τὰ ἐγκάρδια· « Ἐξομολογοῦ, ὅτι ἐνθύμιον ἀνθρώπου ἐξομολογήσεταί σοι, » φησί· καὶ σου ἡ τοιαύτη ἐπιθυμία εἰς θυσίαν λογισθήσεται, καὶ εἰς θυμίαμα ταύτην τάξει ὁ Θεός, καὶ ἐρεῖ τοῖς ἀγγέλοις αὐτοῦ περὶ τῆς ψυχῆς τοῖς βουλομένοις αὐτὴν ἁπάσασθαι τῶν ποδῶν τοῦ Σωτῆρος διὰ τὴν ἀναξιότητα αὐτῆς· « Ἄφετε αὐτήν, ὅτι ἡ καρδία αὐτῆς τεθλιμμένη, καὶ κατώδυνός ἐστι. Τοιοῦτον τὸ γέγραπται καὶ περὶ τῶν σαθρωθέντων ἐν Αἰγυπτιακαῖς ἀσεβείαις ποτὲ Ἰσραηλιτῶν. Λέγει γὰρ ὁ Θεὸς τῷ Μωϋσῇ, ὅτι « Ἐγὼ βλέπω τὸν θλιμμένον, ὅνπερ θλίβουσιν αὐτοὺς οἱ Αἰγύπτιοι, » καὶ ἡ ζωὴ αὐτῶν κατώδυνος ὑπάρχει, καὶ ἤκουσα τοῦ στεναγμοῦ αὐτῶν, καὶ κατέβην τοῦ ἐξελέσθαι αὐτούς. Βλέπε ὅτι οὐδεμίαν ἄλλην ἀγαθοεργίαν μαρτυρεῖ αὐτοῖς, εἰ μὴ μόνον, ὅτι ἐταπεινοῦντο, καὶ ἐστέναζον, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο μόνον ἐπεσπάσαντο τὴν τοῦ Θεοῦ φιλίαν· ὅτι οὐκ ἐν τῇ καθαρότητι, ἀλλ’ ἐν τῇ ταπεινώσει ἐμνήσθη ἡμῶν ὁ Κύριος, καὶ ἐλυτρώσατο ἡμᾶς ἐκ τῶν Αἰγυπτίων, καὶ τοῦ πικροτάτου Φαραώ. Φαραὼ δὲ νῦν μισάνθρωπος ἡμῖν ὑπάρχει ὁ διάβολος, ὅστις ἀπ’ ἀρχῆς ἀνθρωποκτόνος ἐστίν. Αἴγυπτος δὲ ἡ φαυλότης, καὶ ἡ ἁμαρτία· ἐργοδιῶκται οἱ δαίμονες· θλίψις δὲ ἡ παρανομία. Καὶ πάλιν ὁ Προφήτης· « Ἐγγὺς Κύριος τοῖς συντετριμμένοις τῇ καρδίᾳ, καὶ τοὺς ταπεινοὺς τῷ πνεύματι σώσει. » Καὶ πάλιν· « Ἐπί τινα ἐπιβλέψω, ἀλλ’ ἢ ἐπὶ τὸν πρᾷον, καὶ ἡσύχιον, καὶ τρέμοντά μου τοὺς λόγους; » Ἔστι δὲ καὶ κατασκευὴ ἔν τισιν ἀνθρώποις φυσική, εὐχερῶς δάκρυα μὴ παρέχουσα. Τί οὖν χρὴ δακρύων ἐπιθυμοῦντα; Λέξω σοι. Ἐὰν μὴ δύνηι διὰ τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν τῶν φαινομένων δακρύ- σαι, ποίησον τὴν διάνοιάν σου, ὥσπερ καθ’ ὕπνον κλαίουσαν πολλάκις τεθέασαι, οὕτως καὶ γρηγοροῦ- σαν, ἐνώπιον τοῦ Θεοῦ κλαίων τῇ ἐνθυμήσει, καὶ ἀσχέτων δακρύων· καὶ δυνήσῃ καθαρθῆναι ἀπὸ τῶν ἁμαρτιῶν· Ὕπερ παραινεῖ καὶ ὁ Ψαλμῳδὸς λέγων· « Ἐκχέατε ἐνώπιον αὐτοῦ τὰς καρδίας ὑμῶν. » Πλὴν οἶδά τινας μὴ στάντας μέχρι τούτου, ἀλλὰ διὰ πίστεώς τινος, καὶ δεήσεως στρέψαντας τὴν νοητὴν πέτραν εἰς λίμνας ὑδάτων. Συνεχῶς γὰρ τῷ λόγῳ Χριστοῦ τοῦ Θεοῦ ἡμῶν, καὶ πυκνὰ τὴν καρδίαν κεντοῦντες τῇ μνήμῃ τῶν τοῦ Θεοῦ θαυμάτων, παρα- σκεύασαν ἔξωθεν ἀπὸ ἔσω βλύσαι ἀπὸ λιθίνων ὀφθαλ- μῶν τὸ τῶν δακρύων νᾶμα. Εἰ δὲ αὐτὸς μὴ δυνηθεὶς τοιαύτης ἐπιτυχεῖν χάριτος, ὥσπερ ἐκεῖνοι ἀπήλαυ- σαν, ὁρᾷς δὲ ἄλλον ἐν ταῖς εὐχαῖς κλαίοντα, δόξασον τὸν Κύριον ἐπὶ τούτῳ, λέγων· « Εὐχαριστῶ σοι, Κύ- ριε ὁ Θεός μου, δἐμὲ μὲν στερήσας τοῦ τοιούτου λυσι- πονήρου, καὶ καθαρτικοῦ δώρου, τῷ δὲ ἀδελφῷ μου χαρισάμενος αὐτό. Πλήθυνον τὴν χάριν σου εἰς αὐ- τόν, ὦ Δέσποτα, ἕως τέλος· μέλος γάρ μου ὑπάρχει ὁ ἀδελφός· μέλους δὲ ἑνὸς δοξαζομένου, συγχαίρει πάντα τὰ μέλη. Ἐὰν οὕτως διατιθῇς πρὸς τὸν ἀδελ- φόν, καὶ ἱλαρύνης πρὸς αὐτὸν τὴν γνώμην σου, συμ- μεριστὴς γίνῃ ἐκείνου, εἰς ὅπερ αὐτὸς ἐκτήσατο χάρισμα, καὶ κοινὸς ἀμφοτέροις ἔσται ὁ στέφανος, ἐὰν διὰ τὸν Χριστὸν ταῦτα γίνηται.