Letter 19: We were waiting like "a thirsty field" for the refreshment of your letters, and "our soul was like land without...

Paulinus to Delphinus, most blessed and in a special way our lord and father always in God Christ. We were waiting, like a thirsting plot of ground, for the refreshment of your letter, and our soul like a land without water was panting with its inmost heart for your words in their thirst; for now nearly two years were slipping away since the time when, through our fellow-servant Cardamas, you had bedewed us with small though most sweet droplets from your lips, and in the meantime we no longer hoped to be sprinkled even with a tiny drop of your discourse, since through the whole summer, held in suspense by the vain expectation of Uranius who never came, we thought much more that the winter season too would have to be passed by us in your silence. And behold, the merciful and compassionate Lord, who gives food to the hungry and consoles the humble and is powerful to give us beyond what we hope the things we desire, brought our Cardamas to us once again by a sudden arrival, to us who indeed did not hope for it but did long for it; and when the voice of your greeting was made through him in our ears, our heart leapt for joy, and all our bones said: Lord, who is like to you? What is our lowliness that you are mindful of it and visit it? You have blessed, Lord, our land, and you have given us to drink of the torrent of your delight. Our lips shall pour forth a hymn evening, morning, and noon. We will sing and make melody to the Lord, who has bestowed good things upon us. For he sent good tidings from a far country, by which we have both learned of the well-being of our most sweet and most dear father and received his words. Whereby our heart was turned from the sadness of anxiety into the joy of security, and, the turn of our anxious affection being changed for the better, on that day we were gladdened by your letter as by a feast, in return for the days during which the long duration of your silence had humbled us. Let us therefore confess to the Lord his mercies and let us offer to him the sacrifice of praise, because he has filled an empty soul - not indeed, as we say by his favor, empty of his grace, but fasting for want of the fruit of our desire, since it had long hungered for the consolation of your letters, which, as I have said, were nearly for two years denied to us. May the Lord not lay to their charge as a sin their own transgression, whose iniquity has lied to itself and by a long famine from the bread of your lips has wasted away our soul. Let them remain where they wish, since they do not wish to be where they ought rather to have wished. Let them do what is permitted to them, since they do not do what is profitable. The accession of such persons, as it could have conferred no good upon us, so it will be able to take nothing away. Would that our sins likewise brought us no harm, if these too together with such neighbors were removed far from us through the multitude of his mercies, who does not requite us according to our sins, but as a father has compassion on his son, so he has compassion on those who fear his name and who hope in his mercy; of whom we are partakers, because we who are wretched both love his coming in the hope of his mercy and shudder as sinners in the fear of his justice. But, propitiated by your prayers, may he not enter into judgment with his evil servants for your sons, of whom we are the first as we are the last of the good. We who have turned this very glory, by which we received you in Christ and from Christ as a father of our regeneration, into the increase of our condemnation, because we, as servants, show ourselves in nothing worthy of you as our father before the most high Lord, useless servants and degenerate sons, who even now keep in our thorny heart the unhappy harshness of the wild olive of our nature, though long since by the goodness of the Lord, torn from the root of our own kindred, we seem to have been grafted into your tree, from which we might draw the sap of your richness into the marrow of our soul, and, rooted in the spirit of meekness in the way of peace, might be recognized to be shoots of the good olive by our noble fruits. But now, through the abundance of our vices destitute of our father's goods, how shall we order our words on the day of reckoning, having not attained your virtues and displaying no likeness of your stock in us, by which we might be recognized as yours? Who shall snatch us from the wrath to come? Who shall rescue us from our very selves, that, cleansed from our own senses, we may be emptied of the matter of heavenly wrath by a purging faith? For we feel that there are within us causes of eternal punishments, the roots of thorns and briars living in our heart. For the earlier offshoot of our old self, like the vineyard of Sodom, used to put forth a grape of gall with the bitter fruits of carnal life, and the mind, drunk with the venoms of malice, vomited up the wrath of asps; but he who is mighty has done great things for us; he sent from heaven and delivered us; he sent his mercy through you and renewed the face of our land and made us to be your planting for himself in his vineyard. Therefore, blessed and most venerable father, you ought with continual care and assiduous prayer to say to the Lord, that he may look down from heaven and visit these vines which your right hand has planted, so that, fastened to the true vine, we may live as branches to be pruned for fruit, not to be cut off for the fire. May he himself direct us, who is the vine and the life, into the whole rule of truth of his discipline, watering us from his heights above through your chaste and holy utterances, as fiery as they are sweet. For your words are drops of that voluntary rain which God set apart for his inheritance, who came down upon the fleece, poured in a silent descent upon the Virgin. He it is in whose droplets we rejoice, when he rises within us and distils upon the soul that is being reborn the first dew of his knowledge, that he may heal all our infirmities. For the dew that is from him is health to us, because he himself is the fountain of life who sent his word and healed us. This word of God, of which there is voluntary rain, because the Son, obedient to the Father not by the necessity of one subject but by the assent of one equal to God and by the duty of piety, humbled himself even to the death of the cross, as he had said through the prophet: I will voluntarily sacrifice to you, because the same Lord, both priest and victim, offered himself for us and by his own power both laid down his soul and took it up again. And therefore this rain is voluntary, which poured itself out of its own accord upon the parched lands, to set the desert into rivers. But how it was made weak, he teaches who says: For he was crucified out of weakness; and how it was strengthened and established, you have in the same place, since, he says, he lives by the power of God. Pray to this Lord, until you prevail by your prayer, that he may not suffer our fleeces, which he washed in the water of refreshment by your hands, to be soiled again, stained by our sins, and once more, with vices dyeing them, to be turned back, infected, into scarlet; but may he guard by the watches of your prayers the gift of his grace within us and not leave off the work of your hands within us, until he ripens and brings to completion from us fruit and a crown for you, that on that day, coming in exultation and carrying your sheaves with full bosom, you may be able to say even of us, numbered among your offspring and harvest: behold, I, Lord, and the children whom you have given me. But now the fear of wearying you warns me - and not only that, but also the fear of sin, which in much speaking is not escaped - to put a bridle on our mouth and to close the door of speech with an end to the letter, late though it be. Let our conclusion be the commendation of Cardamas, whom we congratulate on having been so renewed by the blessing of your hand, that in him the gravity now assumed from the name of exorcist has given a reverence in place of the ridiculous frivolity of his former mimic's name. Yet still more than we admired we rejoiced in this, that he has also changed the disposition of his former condition by his religious office; for as a constant sharer of our little table he so restrained himself to the measure of our gullet that he avoided neither our greens nor our cups, as he will be able to attest by the thinning of his body and the pallor of his face - unless perhaps, while he returns, he should restore himself along the toilsome journey by taking up again the old familiarity with his cups.

XVIIII. BEATISSIMO ET PECVLIARITER DOMINO SEMPER IN DBO CHRISTO NOBIS PATRI DELPHINO PAVLINVS. Expectabamus ut area sitiens refrigeria litterarum tuarum, et anima nostra sicut terra sine aqua sitientibus 1] Ps. 11, 7. 2] Sap. 3, 6. 12] (Matth. 13, 8). 22] Ioel. 1, 20. 23] Ps. 142, 6. 1 exinanitum P1 in om. LM 2 huius seculi FPU sui om. U 3 diademate 0 4 aptauit 0 5 agnosceta L 6 utriusque sexus sanctorum U 7 formulam 0 8 et om. FPU pascasius LO humanitate 0, unanimitate cet . 10 collegimus 0, colligimus cet . 11 tante FO, tante cet . centesimum Fv, centeximum U trigeximum U, tricentesimum FP 12 trę ex nre L efferens 0, afferens cet., referens cani. Tjatin . 13 patruum FU, pastuum L 15 et om. FPU tuae] suae U 16 excussare 0 18 exemplo uale Fpt . — finit ad uictricium • II ■ 0 FLMOPU . — ad eundem XVIllI. (in mg.: haec prima est in ordine ad delfinum) M, item epistola eiusdem ad eundem - XI. L, incipit ad eundem. ill. 0, epistola sancti paulini episcopi ad delphinum episcopum in qua gratulatur ei et gratias agit promissis ex insperato epistolis: ubi in tua uerba praecordiis anhelabat; iam enim prope biennium defluebat, ex quo nobis per confamulum Cardamatem modica licet dulcissima tamen oris tui stillicidia roraueras, nec iam interim sperabamus uel guttula tui sermonis aspergi, quia per totam aestatem inrita non uenientis Vrani expectatione suspensi, multo magis tempus -hibernum in tuo nobis silentio transigendum putabamus. et ecce misericors et miserator dominus, qui dat escam esurientibus et consolatur humiles et potens est supra quam speramus dare nobis quae desideramus, insperantibus quidem sed optantibus repentino iterum Cardamatem nostrum superuentu intulit nobis, et ut facta est per eum uox salutationis tuae in auribus nostris, exultauit gaudio cor nostrum, et omnia ossa nostra dixerunt: domine, quis similis tibi? quid est humilitas nostra quod memor es eius et uisitas eam? benedixisti, domine, terram nostram et torrente uoluptatis tuae potasti nos. ructabunt labia nostra hymnum uespere mane et meridie. cantabimus et psallemus domino, qui bona tribuit nobis. misit enim nuntium bonum de terra longinqua, quo dulcissimi et carissimi patris et sospitatem agnouimus et sermonem accepimus. unde conuersum est cor nostrum a tristitia sollicitudinis et in gaudium securitatis, et uersa in melius anxiae affectionis uice in illo die nobis per litteras tuas festo delectati sumus 7] Ps. 110, 4. 8] II Cor. 7, 6. 9] Eph. 3, 20. 12] Luc. 1, 44. 14] Ps. 34, 10. 15] Ps. 8, 5. 16] Ps. 84, 2. Ps. 35, 9. 17] Ps. 118, 171. 18] Ps. 20, 14 et 12, 6. 20] Prou. 25, 25. 24] Ps. 89,15. etiam ipsum instanter deprecatur: ut dominum oret pro se, ut in sinceritate fidei et bonorum operum perseueret: tamquam bonus filius spiritualis a quo sacrum baptisma suscepisse se dicit U 21 patri om. U delfino LMO, dalphino FPU 1 anhelebat 01 3 temen 01 stillidia L nec] hec F 4 qua FPU 5 ueniente 0 surani 0, uestra FLPU, om. M 10 inspirantibus FPU 11 cardamantem F 12 uox per eum LM 18 exultabit Ol 15 quis est F 16 eum FU tuam FPU torrentem 01 17 uoluntatis FPU 18 mane uespere FPU pr . et om. LM cantauimus If\'ł PU 19 psallimus FPU 21 pro et om. 0 sermonem] litteras LM 22 inde FPU a] et U 23 et in] in LMv pro diebus quibus nos humiliauerat diuturnitas taciturnitatis tuae. Confiteamur itaque domino misericordias eius et inmolemus ei hostiam laudis, quia saturauit animam inanem, non quidem, quod propitio ipso dicimus, gratiae eius uacuam sed desiderii nostri fructu ieiunam, cum solatia litterarum tuarum diu esuriret, quae iam, ut dixi, nobis pene biennio negabantur. non statuat illis dominus in peccatum praeuaricationem suam, quorum iniquitas mentita est sibi et longa ab oris tui panibus fame tabefecit animam nostram. remaneant ubi uolunt, quia nolunt ubi malle debuerant. faciant quod eis licet, quia non faciunt quod expedit. nobis accessio talium ut nihil conferre potuisset boni, ita nihil detrahere poterit. utinam peccatis nostris ita nullum nobis fieret detrimentum, si et ipsa cum talibus proximis elongarentur a nobis per multitudinem miserationum eius, qui non secundum peccata nostra retribuit nobis, sed sicut miseretur pater filii sui, ita miseratur timentes nomen suum et sperantes in misericordia eius; quorum participes sumus, quia aduentum eius et diligimus miseri spe misericordiae eius et horrescimus peccatores timore iustitiae eius. sed orationibus tuis propitiatus filiis tuis non intret in iudicium cum malis seruis suis, quorum primi nos ita ut bonorum ultimi sumus. qui et hanc ipsam gloriam, qua te in Christo et a Christo patrem regenerationis accepimus, in cumulum damnationis conuertimus, quia nihil te patre dignum domino altissimo serui 3] Ps. 106, 8. 4] Ps. 49, 14. 9] Ps. 26, 12. 16] Ps. 102, 10. 22] (Ps. 142, 2). 26] (Luc. 17, 10). 1 taeeturnitatis 0 4 ei om. FPU 5 dicemus 0 6 fructu om. FPU 7 nobis om. M 8 quorum praeuaricatione mentita est iniquitas sibi M, quorum praeuaricationem suam iniquitas mentita est sibi L 10 panibus fame] pane F tabescit M anima nostra M 11 remeent (en ex an) L nolunt] uolunt U male FPU 14 utinam] de add. FPIU, ut add. LM, ad add. OP1, a add. v 15 cum talibus] cuncta libet U elongaretur FPU 18 misereatur P\\ miseretur FLP\'U timentibus LM, timentis (is ex os) U 19 sperantibus LM, sperantis .(is ex es) 0 eius 0, sua cet . 20 diligemus FPU 21 horrescemus FPU 22 cum om. FOU 23 ita om. FPU 24 qui MO, quia cet . inutiles et filii degeneres exhibemus, qui etiam nunc infelicem naturalis oleastri duritiam spinoso in corde seruamus, cum iamdudum bonitate domini a cognationis nostrae radice diuulsi in arborem tuam uideamur inserti, de qua pinguedinis tuae sucum medullis animae duceremus et spiritu mansuetudinis in uia pacis radicati bonae oliuae germina esse generosis fructibus agnosceremur. Nunc uero per abundantiam uitiorum nostrorum inopes paternorum bonorum quomodo disponemus sermones nostros in die recognitionis, non adsecuti uirtutes tuas et nullam de tua in nobis stirpe similitudinem praeferentes, qua recognoscamur tui? quis nos eripiet ab ira uentura? quis nos a nobis ipsis eruet, ut emundati a sensibus nostris ab irae caelestis materia fide purgante uacuemur? in nobis enim inesse sentimus causas poenarum aeternarum uiuentibus in corde nostro radicibus spinarum atque tribulorum. nam prior uetustatis nostrae propago ut uinea Sodomorum fellis uuam acerbis carnalis uitae fructibus praeferebat et iram aspidum uenenis malitiae ebria mens uomebat; sed fecit nobis magna qui potens est; misit de caelo et liberauit nos; misit per te misericordiam suam et renouauit faciem terrae nostrae et fecit plantationem tuam esse nos sibi in uinea sua. propterea, pater benedicte et uenerandissime, perpeti cura et adsidua prece dicere te oportet domino, ut respiciat e caelo et uisitet uites istas quas plantauit dextera tua, ut adfixi in uera uite uiuamus non ad ignem amputanda sed ad fructum putanda sarmenta. dirigat nos ipse, qui uitis et uita est, in omnem 4] (Rom. 11,17). 12] (Matth. 3, 7). 17] (Deut. 32, 32). 19] Luc. 1, 49. 20] Ps. 56, 4. 21] Ps. 103, 30. 25] (Ps. 79, 15). 27] Ioh. 14, 6 et 15,1. 1 filii] serui FPU 3 iam (dudum om.) LM a] ad OU cognitionis FPU 6 esse] ex coni. Sacch . 9 paternarum O1 nostros om. L 10 cognitionis FPU 11 in om. 0 quare cognoscamur FPU 12 qui 0 eripiat FPU 13 sernet FPU sensibus (sed s. I . at sentibus) M 14 esse FPU 17 propago ut LMv, propagetur cet . sogdomorum U fellis F acerais FOPlJ 21 tuam U renouabit PU 22 suam F 24 ej ae L, de M, om. r 26 amputandam FPU 27 nos om. LM disciplinae suae regulam ueritatis, rigans nos de superioribus suis per eloquia tua casta et pia et tam ignita quam dulcia. sermones enim tui guttae sunt illius pluuiae uoluntariae, quam segregauit deus hereditati suae, qui descendit in uellus, tacito scilicet in uirginem fusus adlapsu. ipse est in cuius stillicidiis laetamur, cum exoritur in nobis et animam renascentem primo notitiae suae rore distillat, ut sanet omnes languores nostros. ros enim qui ab illo est sanitas est nobis, quia ipse est fons uitae qui misit uerbum suum et sanauit nos. hoc dei uerbum, de quo pluuia uoluntaria est, quia non necessitate subiecti sed dei aequalis adsensu et pietatis officio oboediens patri filius humiliauit se usque ad mortem crucis, sicut dixerat per prophetam: uoluntarie sacrificabo tibi, quia idem dominus sacerdos et uictima semet ipsum pro nobis obtulit et propria potestate animam suam et deposuit et resumpsit. et ideo pluuia haec uoluntaria, \'quae se sponte profudit arentibus terris, ut poneret desertum in flumina. quomodo autem infirmata sit, docet ille qui dicit: crucifixus est enim ex infirmitate; et quomodo confirmata et posita sit, in eodem habes, quoniam, inquit, uiuit ex uirtute dei. Hunc tu dominum ora, donec exores, ut uellera nostra, quae in aqua refectionis manibus tuis lauit, non patiatur iterum peccatis nostris maculata sordescere et rursus in phonenicium uitiis tinguentibus infecta conuerti; sed custodiat excubiis orationum tuarum gratiae suae munus in nobis et operationem manuum tuarum non omittat in nobis, donec maturet et 1] Ps. 103, 13. 3] Ps. 67,10. 5] (Ps. 64,11; Ps. 71,6). 7] Es. 53, 4 et 5; Ps. 102, 3. 9] Ps. 35, 10; 106, 20. 12] Phil. 2, 8. 13] Ps. 53, 8. 16] (Ioh. 10, 18). 17] (Ps. 106, 35). 19 et 20] II Cor 13, 4. 1 discipliuam uel disciplina sua regulam coni. Sacch . regula U 4 quae 0 6 exuritur 0 7 sanat F 8 langores FLP 16 pr . et om. M uolumptaria U 17 sponse 01 18 firmata F dicit] dit M, ait L 20 posita] perfecta coni. Sacch . uiuit inquit M 22 ad ora F 23 quae om. U 24 rursum F foenicium 0, fenitium FLM, foenitium PU 26 et—in nobis om. LM perficiat de nobis fructum et coronam tibi, ut in illa die ueniens in exultatione et repleto sinu portans manipulos tuos possis etiam de nobis in tua prole et messe numeratis dicere: ecce ego, domine, et pueri quos dedisti mihi. sed iam admonet metus fatigationis tuae, non solum autem sed et metus peccati, quod de multiloquio non effugitur, ut inponamus frenum ori nostro et ostium uerbi licet tardo epistolae fine claudamus. sit nobis clausula commendatio Cardamatis, quem gratulamur de benedictione manus tuae ita esse renouatum, ut in eo ante (dante) ridiculam mimici nominis leuitatem nunc adsumpta de exorcistae nomine grauitas reuerentiam dederit. magis tamen admirati eo gauisi sumus, quod etiam pristinae conditionis ingenium religioso mutauit officio; nam adsiduus mensulae nostrae particeps ita se ad mensuram nostri gutturis artauit, ut nec holuscula nec pocula nostra uitauerit, quod poterit adtenuatione sui corporis et oris pallore testari, nisi se forte, dum remeat, per iter laboriosum retractata suorum quondam calicum familiaritate reparauerit.