Letter 12
Wherever I turn, I see evidences of my advancing years.
I visited lately my country-plice, and protested against the money which
was spent on the tumble-down building. My bailiff maintained that
the flaws were not due to his own carelessness; "he was doing everything
possible, but the house was old." And this was the house which grew under
my own hands! What has the future in store for
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me, if stones of my own age are already crumbling? I was angry,
and I embraced the first opportunity to vent my spleen in the bailiff's
presence. "It is clear," I cried, "that these plane-trees are neglected;
they have no leaves. Their branches are so gnarled and shrivelled;
the boles are so rough and unkempt! This would not happen, if someone
loosened the earth at their feet, and watered them." The bailiff swore
by my protecting deity that "he was doing everything possible, and never
relaxed his efforts, but those trees were old." Between you and me, I had
planted those trees myself, I had seen them in their first leaf.
Then I turned to the door and asked: "Who is that broken-down dotard?
You have done well to place him at the entrance; for he is outward bound.
Where did you get him? What pleasure did it give you to take up for burial
some other man's dead? But the slave said: "Don't you know me, sir?
I am Felicio; you used to bring me little images. My father was Philositus
the steward, and I am your pet slave." "The man is clean crazy," I remarked.
"Has my pet slave become a little boy again? But it is quite possible;
his teeth are just dropping out."
I owe it to my country-place that my old age
became apparent whithersoever I turned. Let us cherish and love old
age; for it is full of pleasure if one knows how to use it. Fruits
are most welcome when almost over; youth is most charming at its close;
the last drink delights the toper, the glass which souses him and puts
the finishing touch on his drunkenness. Each pleasure reserves to
the end the greatest delights which it contains. Life is most delightful
when it is on the downward slope, but has not yet reached the abrupt decline.
And I myself believe that the period which stands, so to
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speak, on the edge of the roof, possesses pleasures of its own.
Or else the very fact of our not wanting pleasures has taken the place
of the pleasures themselves. How comforting it is to have tired out
one's appetites, and to have done with them! "But," you say, "it is a nuisance
to be looking death in the face!" Death, however, should be looked in the
face by young and old alike. We are not summoned according to our
rating on the censor's list. Moreover, no one is so old that it would
be improper for him to hope for another day of existence. And one
day, mind you, is a stage on life's journey.
Our span of life is divided into parts; it
consists of large circles enclosing smaller. One circle embraces
and bounds the rest; it reaches from birth to the last day of existence.
The next circle limits the period of our young manhood. The third
confines all of childhood in its circumference. Again, there is,
in a class by itself, the year; it contains within itself all the divisions
of time by the multiplication of which we get the total of life.
The month is bounded by a narrower ring. The smallest circle of all is
the day; but even a day has its beginning and its ending, its sunrise and
its sunset. Hence Heraclitus, whose obscure style gave him his surname,
remarked: "One day is equal to every. day:" Different persons have interpreted
the saying in different ways. Some hold that days are equal in number
of hours, and this is true; for if by "day" we mean twenty-four hours'
time, all days must be equal, inasmuch as the night acquires what the day
loses. But others maintain that one day is equal to all days through
resemblance, because the very longest space of time possesses no element
which cannot be found in a single day, - namely, light and
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darkness, - and even to eternity day makes these alternations more
numerous, not different when it is shorter and different again when it
is longer. Hence, every day ought to be regulated as if it closed
the series, as if it rounded out and completed our existence.
Paeuvius, who by long occupancy made Syria
his own, used to hold a regular burial sacrifice in his own honour, with
wine and the usual funeral feasting, and then would have himself carried
from the dining-room to his chamber, while eunuchs applauded and sang in
Greek to a musical accompaniment: "He has lived his life, he has lived
his life!" Thus Paeuvius had himself carried out to burial every day.
Let us, however, do from a good motive what he used to do from a debased
motive; let us go to our sleep with joy and gladness; let us say:
I have
lived; the course which Fortune set for me Is finished.
And if God is pleased to add another day,
we should welcome it with glad hearts. That man is happiest, and
is secure in his own possession of himself, who can await the morrow without
apprehension. When a man has said: "I have lived!", every morning he arises
he receives a bonus.
But now I ought to close my letter. "What?"
you say; "shall it come to me without any little offering? "Be not afraid;
it brings something, - nay, more than something, a great deal. For
what is more noble than the following saying of which I make this letter
the bearer: "It is wrong to live under constraint; but no man is constrained
to live under constraint." Of course not. On all sides lie
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Latin / Greek Original
[1] Quocumque me verti, argumenta senectutis meae video. Veneram in suburbanum meum et querebar de impensis aedificii dilabentis. Ait vilicus mihi non esse neglegentiae suae vitium, omnia se facere, sed villam veterem esse. Haec villa inter manus meas crevit: quid mihi futurum est, si tam putria sunt aetatis meae saxa? [2] Iratus illi proximam occasionem stomachandi arripio. 'Apparet' inquam 'has platanos neglegi: nullas habent frondes. Quam nodosi sunt et retorridi rami, quam tristes et squalidi trunci! Hoc non accideret si quis has circumfoderet, si irrigaret.' Iurat per genium meum se omnia facere, in nulla re cessare curam suam, sed illas vetulas esse. Quod intra nos sit, ego illas posueram, ego illarum primum videram folium. [3] Conversus ad ianuam 'quis est iste?' inquam 'iste decrepitus et merito ad ostium admotus? foras enim spectat. Unde istunc nanctus es ? quid te delectavit: alienum mortuum tollere?' At ille 'non cognoscis me?' inquit: 'ego sum Felicio, cui solebas sigillaria afferre; ego sum Philositi vilici filius, deliciolum tuum'. 'Perfecte' inquam 'iste delirat: pupulus, etiam delicium meum factus est? Prorsus potest fieri: dentes illi cum maxime cadunt.'
[4] Debeo hoc suburbano meo, quod mihi senectus mea quocumque adverteram apparuit. Complectamur illam et amemus; plena <est> voluptatis, si illa scias uti. Gratissima sunt poma cum fugiunt; pueritiae maximus in exitu decor est; deditos vino potio extrema delectat, illa quae mergit, quae ebrietati summam manum imponit; [5] quod in se iucundissimum omnis voluptas habet in finem sui differt. Iucundissima est aetas devexa iam, non tamen praeceps, et illam quoque in extrema tegula stantem iudico habere suas voluptates; aut hoc ipsum succedit in locum voluptatium, nullis egere. Quam dulce est cupiditates fatigasse ac reliquisse! [6] 'Molestum est' inquis 'mortem ante oculos habere.' Primum ista tam seni ante oculos debet esse quam iuveni - non enim citamur ex censu -; deinde nemo tam sene est ut improbe unum diem speret. Unus autem dies gradus vitae est. Tota aetas partibus constat et orbes habet circumductos maiores minoribus: est aliquis qui omnis complectatur et cingat - hic pertinet a natali ad diem extremum -; est alter qui annos adulescentiae excludit; est qui totam pueritiam ambitu suo adstringit; est deinde per se annus in se omnia continens tempora, quorum multiplicatione vita componitur; mensis artiore praecingitur circulo; angustissimum habet dies gyrum, sed et hic ab initio ad exitum venit, ab ortu ad occasum. [7] Ideo Heraclitus, cui cognomen fecit orationis obscuritas, 'unus' inquit 'dies par omni est'. Hoc alius aliter excepit. Dixit enim *** parem esse horis, nec mentitur; nam si dies est tempus viginti et quattuor horarum, necesse est omnes inter se dies pares esse, quia nox habet quod dies perdidit. Alius ait parem esse unum diem omnibus similitudine; nihil enim habet longissimi temporis spatium quod non ct in uno die invenias, lucem et noctem, et in alternas mundi vices plura facit ista, non <alia>: *** alias contractior, alias productior. [8] Itaque sic ordinandus est dies omnis tamquam cogat agmen et consummet atque expleat vitam. Pacuvius, qui Syriam usu suam fecit, cum vino et illis funebribus epulis sibi parentaverat, sic in cubiculum ferebatur a cena ut inter plausus exoletorum hoc ad symphoniam caneretur: 'bebtai, bebtai«. [9] Nullo non se die extulit. Hoc quod ille ex mala conscientia faciebat nos ex bona faciamus, et in somnum ituri laeti hilaresque dicamus,
vixi et quem dederat cursum fortuna peregi.
Crastinum si adiecerit deus, laeti recipiamus. Ille beatissimus est et securus sui possessor qui crastinum sine sollicitudine exspectat; quisquis dixit 'vixi' cotidie ad lucrum surgit.
[10] Sed iam debeo epistulam includere. 'Sic' inquis 'sine ullo ad me peculio veniet?' Noli timere: aliquid secum fert. Quare aliquid dixi? multum. Quid enim hac voce praeclarius quam illi trado ad te perferendam? 'Malum est in necessitate vivere, sed in necessitate vivere necessitas nulla est.' Quidni nulla sit? patent undique ad libertatem viae multae, breves faciles. Agamus deo gratias quod nemo in vita teneri potest: calcare ipsas necessitates licet. [11] 'Epicurus' inquis 'dixit: quid tibi cum alieno?' Quod verum est meum est; perseverabo Epicurum tibi ingerere, ut isti qui in verba iurant nec quid dicatur aestimant, sed a quo, sciant quae optima sunt esse communia. Vale.
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