Letter 138: 1. What was my state of mind, think you, when I received your piety's letter? When I thought of the feelings which its language expressed, I was eager to fly straight to Syria; but when I thought of the bodily illness, under which I lay bound, I saw myself unequal, not only to flying, but even to turning on my bed.

To Eusebius, Bishop of Samosata [a city on the Euphrates in modern southeastern Turkey] How do you think I felt when I got your letter? Reading your words, I wanted to fly straight to Syria. But then I remembered I'm too sick to fly anywhere — I can barely turn over in bed. Today, when our good brother the deacon Elpidius arrived, marks my fiftieth day of illness. The fever has worn me down badly. There's so little left of me that it clings to my dry body like a flame guttering on a spent wick — just enough to drag things out miserably. Then my old liver trouble flared up on top of it, killing my appetite, stealing my sleep, and keeping me balanced right on the line between life and death — alive enough to suffer, and that's about it. I've tried the hot springs. I've tried doctors. Nothing has been strong enough to beat this thing. Maybe someone else could endure it better. But after fighting illness for so long, I have never been so frustrated as I am now — because it's keeping me from seeing you and enjoying your real friendship. I know what I'm missing. Last year I barely got a taste of the sweetness of your church, and I want more. There are so many urgent reasons I need to meet with you — things to discuss, things to learn from you. Here, I can't even find anyone with genuine loyalty, let alone someone who could advise me with the kind of wisdom and experience you've built up through years of work for the Church. I can't put most of it in writing, but here's what I can safely say: The presbyter Evagrius, son of Pompeianus of Antioch, who traveled west some time ago with the blessed Eusebius [of Vercelli], has come back from Rome. He's asking me for a letter written in the exact terms the Western bishops have dictated. He brought my original letter back — apparently it didn't satisfy the more exacting authorities there. He also wants me to send a delegation of respected men, so they'd have a plausible reason to visit me. Meanwhile, my supporters in Sebasteia [modern Sivas, in central Turkey] have exposed the hidden heresy of Eustathius [of Sebaste, who wavered on the divinity of the Holy Spirit] and are demanding that I intervene as their bishop. Then there's Iconium [in modern south-central Turkey] — an ancient and important city, now the capital of its own province. They're calling me to visit and appoint them a new bishop, since Faustinus has died. So here are my questions for you: Should I avoid performing consecrations outside my own territory? What should I tell the people in Sebasteia? How should I respond to Evagrius's proposals? I desperately wanted to talk all of this through with you face to face, but stuck here sick, I'm cut off from everything. If you can find someone heading my way soon, please send me your answers on all of these. If not, pray that the Lord puts the right course of action in my mind. And in your synod, please ask them to remember me. Pray for me yourself, and have your people join you in praying that I may be allowed to continue serving — for however many days or hours I have left — in a way that pleases the Lord.

ST. BASIL OF CAESAREA To Eusebius, bishop of Samosata. 1. What was my state of mind, think you, when I received your piety's letter? When I thought of the feelings which its language expressed, I was eager to fly straight to Syria; but when I thought of the bodily illness, under which I lay bound, I saw myself unequal, not only to flying, but even to turning on my bed. This day, on which our beloved and excellent brother and deacon, Elpidius, has arrived, is the fiftieth of my illness. I am much reduced by the fever. For lack of what it might feed on, it lingers in this dry flesh as in an expiring wick, and so has brought on a wasting and tedious illness. Next my old plague, the liver, coming upon it, has kept me from taking nourishment, prevented sleep, and held me on the confines of life and death, granting just life enough to feel its inflictions. In consequence I have had recourse to the hot springs, and have availed myself of help from medical men. But for all these the mischief has proved too strong. Perhaps another man might endure it, but, coming as it did unexpectedly, no one is so stout as to bear it. Long troubled by it as I have been, I have never been so distressed as now at being prevented by it from meeting you and enjoying your true friendship. I know of how much pleasure I am deprived, although last year I did touch with the tip of my finger the sweet honey of your Church. 2. For many urgent reasons I felt bound to meet your reverence, both to discuss many things with you and to learn many things from you. Here it is not possible even to find genuine affection. And, could one even find a true friend, none can give counsel to me in the present emergency with anything like the wisdom and experience which you have acquired in your many labours on the Church's behalf. The rest I must not write. I may, however, safely say what follows. The presbyter Evagrius, son of Pompeianus of Antioch, who set out some time ago to the West with the blessed Eusebius, has now returned from Rome. He demands from me a letter couched in the precise terms dictated by the Westerns. My own he has brought back again to me, and reports that it did not give satisfaction to the more precise authorities there. He also asks that a commission of men of repute may be promptly sent, that they may have a reasonable pretext for visiting me. My sympathisers in Sebasteia have stripped the covering from the secret sore of the unorthodoxy of Eustathius, and demand my ecclesiastical care. Iconium is a city of Pisidia, anciently the first after the greatest, and now it is capital of a part, consisting of an union of different portions, and allowed the government of a distinct province. Iconium too calls me to visit her and to give her a bishop; for Faustinus is dead. Whether I ought to shrink from consecrations over the border; what answer I ought to give to the Sebastenes; what attitude I should show to the propositions of Evagrius; all these are questions to which I was anxious to get answers in a personal interview with you, for here in my present weakness I am cut off from everything. If, then, you can find any one soon coming this way, be so good as to give me your answer on them all. If not, pray that what is pleasing to the Lord may come into my mind. In your synod also bid mention to be made of me, and pray for me yourself, and join your people with you in the prayer that it may be permitted me to continue my service through the remaining days or hours of my sojourning here in a manner pleasing to the Lord. About this page Source. Translated by Blomfield Jackson. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Vol. 8. Edited by Philip Schaff and Henry Wace. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1895.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. <https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3202138.htm>. Contact information. The editor of New Advent is Kevin Knight. My email address is feedback732 at newadvent.org. (To help fight spam, this address might change occasionally.) Regrettably, I can't reply to every letter, but I greatly appreciate your feedback — especially notifications about typographical errors and inappropriate ads.