Letter 6: 1. I hesitated to address your excellency, from the idea that, just as to the eye when inflamed even the mildest of remedies causes pain, so to a soul distressed by heavy sorrow, words offered in the moment of agony, even though they do bring much comfort, seem to be somewhat out of place. But I bethought me that I should be speaking to a Christ...

To the wife of Nectarius 1. I hesitated to write to you, thinking that just as even the mildest remedy causes pain to an inflamed eye, so words offered to a soul overwhelmed by grief, however comforting they may be, seem out of place in the moment of agony. But then I remembered that I would be speaking to a Christian woman, one who learned godly lessons long ago and is no stranger to the ups and downs of human life, and I decided it would be wrong to neglect the duty laid upon me. I know what a mother's heart is. When I remember how good and gentle you are to everyone, I can imagine the depth of your suffering right now. You have lost a son whom, while he lived, every mother called blessed, praying that her own children might turn out like him — and at his death, each one grieved as though she had buried her own child. His death is a blow to two provinces, mine and Cilicia. With him has fallen a great and distinguished family, knocked to the ground as if someone had pulled away its main support. What terrible destruction the touch of an evil spirit was able to cause! Earth, what a catastrophe you have been forced to endure! If the sun could feel, he would have shuddered at such a sight. Who could put into words everything that a helpless heart would want to say? 2. But our lives are not without Providence. We have learned from the Gospel that not a sparrow falls to the ground without the will of our Father (Matthew 10:29). Whatever has happened has happened by the will of our Creator, and who can resist God's will? Let us accept what has come upon us, because if we fight against it, we do not undo the past and we destroy ourselves. Let us not challenge the righteous judgment of God. We are far too limited to question His unsearchable decrees. The Lord is now testing your love for Him. Now is your chance, through patience, to claim the martyr's share. The mother of the Maccabees watched seven sons die without a sigh, without shedding a single unworthy tear. She thanked God for seeing them freed from the chains of the flesh by fire, steel, and brutal blows, and she won praise from God and fame among people. The loss is enormous — I know that from my own heart. But so too are the rewards the Lord has laid up for those who endure patiently. When you first became a mother and saw your baby boy and thanked God, you knew all along that, being mortal yourself, you had given birth to a mortal child. What is surprising about the death of a mortal? But we grieve that he died before his time. Are we sure this was not his time? We do not know how to choose what is good for our souls, or how to set the limits of a human life. Look around at the whole world you live in. Remember that everything you see is mortal, everything subject to decay. Look up at the sky — even it will be dissolved. Look at the sun — not even the sun will last forever. All the stars, all living things on land and sea, everything beautiful on earth — yes, earth itself — all are subject to decay. In a little while, all of it will be no more. Let these thoughts bring you some comfort. Do not measure your loss in isolation; if you do, it will seem unbearable. But if you consider it alongside all of human experience, you will find some consolation there. Above all, I would strongly urge one thing: spare your husband. Be a comfort to others. Do not make his grief harder to bear by wearing yourself out with sorrow. Words alone, I know, cannot give comfort. What is needed now is prayer, and I pray that the Lord Himself will touch your heart by His unspeakable power, and through good thoughts cause light to shine in your soul, so that you may find a source of consolation within yourself.

ST. BASIL OF CAESAREA To the wife of Nectarius. 1. I hesitated to address your excellency, from the idea that, just as to the eye when inflamed even the mildest of remedies causes pain, so to a soul distressed by heavy sorrow, words offered in the moment of agony, even though they do bring much comfort, seem to be somewhat out of place. But I bethought me that I should be speaking to a Christian woman, who has long ago learned godly lessons, and is not inexperienced in the vicissitudes of human life, and I judged it right not to neglect the duty laid upon me. I know what a mother's heart is, and when I remember how good and gentle you are to all, I can reckon the probable extent of your misery at this present time. You have lost a son whom, while he was alive, all mothers called happy, with prayers that their own might be like him, and on his death bewailed, as though each had hidden her own in the grave. His death is a blow to two provinces, both to mine and to Cilicia. With him has fallen a great and illustrious race, dashed to the ground as by the withdrawal of a prop. Alas for the mighty mischief that the contact with an evil demon was able to wreak! Earth, what a calamity you have been compelled to sustain! If the sun had any feeling one would think he might have shuddered at so sad a sight. Who could utter all that the spirit in its helplessness would have said? 2. But our lives are not without a Providence. So we have learned in the Gospel, for not a sparrow falls to the ground without the will of our Father. Matthew 10:29 Whatever has come to pass has come to pass by the will of our Creator. And who can resist God's will? Let us accept what has befallen us; for if we take it ill we do not mend the past and we work our own ruin. Do not let us arraign the righteous judgment of God. We are all too untaught to assail His ineffable sentences. The Lord is now making trial of your love for Him. Now there is an opportunity for you, through your patience, to take the martyr's lot. The mother of the Maccabees saw the death of seven sons without a sigh, without even shedding one unworthy tear. She gave thanks to God for seeing them freed from the fetters of the flesh by fire and steel and cruel blows, and she won praise from God, and fame among men. The loss is great, as I can say myself; but great too are the rewards laid up by the Lord for the patient. When first you were made a mother, and saw your boy, and thanked God, you knew all the while that, a mortal yourself, you had given birth to a mortal. What is there astonishing in the death of a mortal? But we are grieved at his dying before his time. Are we sure that this was not his time? We do not know how to pick and choose what is good for our souls, or how to fix the limits of the life of man. Look round at all the world in which you live; remember that everything you see is mortal, and all subject to corruption. Look up to heaven; even it shall be dissolved; look at the sun, not even the sun will last forever. All the stars together, all living things of land and sea, all that is fair on earth, aye, earth itself, all are subject to decay; yet a little while and all shall be no more. Let these considerations be some comfort to you in your trouble. Do not measure your loss by itself; if you do it will seem intolerable; but if you take all human affairs into account you will find that some comfort is to be derived from them. Above all, one thing I would strongly urge; spare your husband. Be a comfort to others. Do not make his trouble harder to bear by wearing yourself away with sorrow. Mere words I know cannot give comfort. Just now what is wanted is prayer; and I do pray the Lord Himself to touch your heart by His unspeakable power, and through good thoughts to cause light to shine upon your soul, that you may have a source of consolation in yourself. About this page Source. Translated by Blomfield Jackson. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Vol. 8. Edited by Philip Schaff and Henry Wace. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1895.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. <https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/3202006.htm>. Contact information. The editor of New Advent is Kevin Knight. My email address is feedback732 at newadvent.org. (To help fight spam, this address might change occasionally.) Regrettably, I can't reply to every letter, but I greatly appreciate your feedback — especially notifications about typographical errors and inappropriate ads.