Letter 2.1

Although I am sorry that you suspected me of neglect, I was not so much annoyed to have my duty criticized by you as pleased to know that you missed it. On the point for which you accuse me I am innocent; on the point where you showed that you wanted letters from me, you displayed an affection which I knew well already, but which was still sweet and deeply welcome. I have let no one go to you, at least no one whom I thought likely to reach you, without giving him a letter. Who is more tireless than I am in writing? From you, however, I have received only two letters, or three at most, and those very short. So if you are an unfair judge of me, I will convict you of the same charge. If you do not want me to do that, you will have to be fair to me. But enough about letters. I am not afraid that I will fail to satisfy you by writing, especially if you do not reject my zeal in that kind of duty. I was sorry that you were away from us for so long, because I lost the pleasure of your delightful company. I also rejoice, because in your absence you have achieved everything with the highest distinction, and in all your affairs fortune has answered my wishes. My extraordinary affection for you forces me to give you one short piece of advice. Expectations of your spirit and talent are so high that I do not hesitate to beg and urge you to return to us shaped in such a way that you can sustain and protect the hopes you have raised. And because no forgetfulness will ever erase my memory of your services to me, I ask you to remember this: whatever increases come to you in fortune and rank, you could not have obtained them if, when you were still a boy, you had not followed my most loyal and affectionate advice. So you should feel toward me in such a way that my advancing age may find rest in your affection and youth.

CLXV (Fam. II, 1) TO C. SCRIBONIUS CURIO (IN ASIA) ROME (JANUARY OR FEBRUARY) Though I am sorry that you have suspected me of neglect, yet it was not so annoying to me to have my lack of attention found fault with, as delightful to have it missed by you; especially as in the particular point on which you accuse me I happen to be innocent, while in showing that you miss a letter from me, you avow an affection for me, of which, indeed, I was fully aware, but which, nevertheless, is very soothing and gratifying to my feelings. The fact is that I have never let anyone go, so long, that is, as I thought him likely to reach you, without giving him a letter. Why, was there ever such an untiring correspondent as I? From you, however, I have received two, or at the most three letters — and those extremely brief. Wherefore, if you are a harsh judge of me, I shall find you guilty on precisely the same charge. But if you don't want me to do that, you will have to be considerate to me. However, enough about writing; for I am not afraid of failing to satiate you with my correspondence, especially if you show a just appreciation of my zeal in that department. I have been grieved on the one hand at your long absence from us, because I have lost the advantage of a most delightful intimacy; and yet on the other hand I rejoice at it, because while on this foreign service you have gained all your objects with infinite credit to yourself, and because in all you have undertaken fortune has answered to my wishes. There is one injunction, a very short one, which my unspeakable affection for you compels me to give you. Such lofty expectations are entertained of your spirit, shall I say? or of your ability, that I cannot refrain from imploring and beseeching you to return to us with a character so finished, as to be able to support and maintain the expectations which you have excited. And since no loss of memory will ever obliterate my recollection of your services to me, I beg you not to forget that, whatever increase of fortune or position may befall you, you would not have been able to attain it, had you not as a boy obeyed my most faithful and affectionate counsels. Wherefore it will be your duty to show me such affection, that my age — now on the decline — may find repose in your devotion and youth.

I. M. CICERO S. D. CURIONI Romae; parte priore 53(?) Quamquam me nomine neglegentiae suspectum tibi esse doleo, tamen non tam mihi molestum fuit accusari abs te officium meum quam iucundum requiri, praesertim cum, in quo accusabar, culpa vacarem, in quo autem desiderare te significabas meas litteras, prae te ferres perspectum mihi quidem sed tamen dulcem et optatum amorem tuum. Equidem neminem praetermisi, quem quidem ad te perventurum putarem, cui litteras non dederim; etenim quis est tam in scribendo impiger quam ego? A te vero bis terve summum et eas perbrevis accepi. Qua re, si iniquus es in me iudex, condemnabo eodem ego te crimine; sin me id facere noles, te mihi aequum praebere debebis. Sed de litteris hactenus; non enim vereor ne non scribendo te expleam, praesertim si in eo genere studium meum non aspernabere. Ego te afuisse tam diu a nobis et dolui, quod carui fructu iucundissimae consuetudinis, et laetor, quod absens omnia cum maxima dignitate es consecutus quodque in omnibus tuis rebus meis optatis fortuna respondit. Breve est quod me tibi praecipere meus incredibilis in te amor cogit: tanta est exspectatio vel animi vel ingeni tui ut ego te obsecrare obtestarique non dubitem sic ad nos conformatus revertare ut, quam exspectationem tui concitasti, hanc sustinere ac tueri possis. Et quoniam meam tuorum erga me meritorum memoriam nulla umquam delebit oblivio, te rogo ut memineris, quantaecumque tibi accessiones fient et fortunae et dignitatis, eas te non potuisse consequi ni meis puer olim fidelissimis atque amantissimis consiliis paruisses. Qua re hoc animo in nos esse debebis ut aetas nostra iam ingravescens in amore atque in adulescentia tua conquiescat.