Letter 5018: It is scarcely possible for a man absorbed in successful ventures to spare attention for the claims of correspondence.

It is scarcely possible that one intent on happy things should foreknow adversity: like a sinister omen one repudiates whatever one has glimpsed of the harshness of the future by preceding understanding; certainly, lest bitter things mingle even at another's time, the very recognition of troubles causes horror. I believed that no interval now separated me from unlovable Ravenna, while it was full of my treasures: neither spring quenching the thirsty, nor breeze the burning, invited me so eagerly to that resting-place of the un-wearied. But now I think that Rome itself has been transported farther away on account of the burden of my sins. Where is that frequency of letters which was once thought rare? Where the frequent visits? Where so many consolations of diligence? Truly I speak on my own behalf: I detest a life which is not even hateful to those established in misery. Perhaps your eminence may allege that things desired have come to it by heavenly dispensation. Happiness is not full when one of your people is afflicted by the miseries of harsh separation. Believe me in God, what I weep is not feigned, nor does either epistolary polish or the narrowness of speech suffice to unfold the tragedy of my heart. Christ, arbiter of affairs, succor your own necessity, lest human fragility, not sufficient for the burden of immense grief, succumb under its weight. My lord, paying the services of greeting, I ask that the care of the page toward me be maintained, so that my mind, established amid these fevers, may breathe by at least this remedy.

XVIII. FAVSTO ENNODIVS. Vix est ut intentus rebus felicibus aduersa praenoscat: uelut sinistrum enim omen repudiat, si quid de austeritate futurorum intellectu praecedente respexerit: certe ne et alieno tempore amarae se misceant, ipsa molestiarum horret agnitio. nullo credebam interuallo nunc inamabilem Rauennam, dum erat thesauris meis plena, distare: non me sic sitientem fons, aestuantem aura, ut illa ad se non lassum requies inuitabat. at nunc ipsa Roma puto ad longiora pro peccatorum meorum fasce translata est. ubi est illa quae rara putabatur frequentia litterarum ? ubi crebra uisio? ubi tot solacia diligentiae? uere pro meis partibus loquor: detestor uitam, quae nec in aerumna constitutis est odio. adleget forsitan culmen tuum, sibi pro superna dispensatione cupita contigisse. non est plena felicitas, quando uestrorum aliquis miseriis durae sequestrationis adfligitur. deo credite, non sunt fucata quae defleo nec ad explicandam cordis tragoediam aut epistularis concinnatio sufficit aut sermonis angustia. Christe rerum arbiter, propriae succurre necessitati, ne humana fragilitas ad inmensi fascem doloris non sufficiens pressa subcumbat. domine mi, salutationis seruitia dependens rogo, ut paginalis circa me cura seruetur, ut uel hoc remedio inter aestus mens constituta respiret. - XVIII. 3 intus L 4 enim] animi Pb, - enim animi Sirm. 5 procedente B et om. Pb 6 amarae Sirm., amare BLP TYb, cum amaris Pl 7 rauennem T\' 8 thensaaris L\', thesanris (ea in ras.) B plena B in mg. add . deetare LP\'V 10 ad BlL 13 erumpna T 14 adleget scripsi, adlegit BLT V, allegit Pb, adlegat Sirm . tuum «ortpsi, suum BLPTVb 16 noBtrorum Sirm . 17 haeiplicandam (x ex c corr.) L 18 traguidiam B1 19 post sermonis 8-9 litt. eras . in B I 21 praeesa B m V, mihi BL seruitio B, ohsequia T 23 ms L respiceret B