Letter 206

Isidore of PelusiumTheonilla|isidore pelusium
From: Isidore of Pelusium, monk at Pelusium
To: Theon the Bishop
Date: ~410 AD
Context: Isidore distinguishes between true and false friendship — those who discipline are allies; those who flatter are enemies.

Know this: those who discipline you are not your enemies, and those who flatter you are not your friends. The reversal is complete and consistent.

The one who tells you an uncomfortable truth at personal cost to himself — risking your anger, your displeasure, perhaps your friendship — is doing something difficult and genuinely useful. The one who tells you what you want to hear at no cost to himself, making you feel admired and comfortable, is using you. He is purchasing your goodwill with your own weaknesses.

Learn to distinguish them. It is one of the most practically important skills in a life of leadership.

Modern English rendering for readability. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek for scholarly use.

Related Letters