Letter 375: Those of us who did not share in the wedding feast deserved at least a letter about the marriage, telling us that...

To Calycius. (358 AD) Those of us who did not share in the wedding feast deserved at least a letter about the marriage, telling us that all is well with you and that for now you are tending to your studies on your own, but will shortly resume them with us. You seem, however, to have forgotten us, and I fear that along with us you have forgotten your studies too. But this is not right, my good young man of fine parentage. Consider: who is your father, and who is your father-in-law? The one is Hierocles, the other Acacius — both distinguished men. What made them great? Bodily strength? Speed of foot? Heaps of money? No, by Zeus — but one noble thing, a share in which would have profited even Midas more than possessing all that gold he is said to have had. For it was their ability to speak that brought them to where they are. How strange, then, if Cimon emulated his father's deeds in war, yet you should prove inferior to your father's power in the courts — priding yourself on being married to a rhetorician's daughter while throwing away what rhetoric you possess, when you could be gaining what you lack. My advice is this: spend the summer refreshing what has slipped from your memory, and in winter compose speeches under my guidance. Your wife will surely be at your side encouraging you, joining her prayers to yours that you attain the beauty that comes from eloquence rather than the beauty of Nireus [the handsomest Greek at Troy]. And do not think it shameful to pursue learning after marriage. What is noble by nature never ceases to be noble, and there is greater praise in eagerly pursuing the hunt when the law has excused you from it. Through this you will delight your friends and frighten your enemies; you will have the power to help the one and crush the other. Remember too that Socrates, wise as the god declared him to be, did not shrink from learning in old age, believing it is always the right time to learn. There is nothing wrong with burying yourself in books when your wife is present — indeed it is most pleasant, since she is the very person before whom you would wish to distinguish yourself, and it is a fine thing to do something admirable while she watches. Moreover, if your father does not press you toward this because he does not believe you will rise to it, prove yourself better than his expectations. But if he does press you and you pay no attention, you will inevitably cause grief and suffer it yourself. That is to seek ease and find only misery. So, dearest friend, consider what a celebration you will create for your parents, your in-laws, your excellent uncle, your good wife, and for me who have labored so much on your behalf. Fill yourself now with the old writings, and when the farmers have finished with the wine-presses, come here yourself, and good fortune attend you.

Καλυκίῳ. (358) Ἡμῖν τοῖς οὐ μετασχοῦσι τῶν γαμικῶν δείπνων γράμ- ματα γοῦν ἐχρῆν περὶ τῶν γάμων ἐλθεῖν παρὰ σοῦ δηλοῦντα ὡς τὰ μὲν ἔχει σοι καλῶς, τῶν δὲ λόγων νῦν μὲν ἐπὶ σαυτοῦ φροντίζεις, μικρὸν δὲ ὕστερον αὖθις σῦν ἡμῖν. σὺ δ’ ἔοι- κας ἡμῶν ἐπιλελῆσθαι καὶ δέδοικα μὴ μεθ’ ἡμῶν καὶ τῶν λόγων. ἀλλ’ οὐ δίκαιον, ὦ βέλτιστε καὶ ἐξ ἀγαθῶν νεανίσκε. λογίζου γάρ, τίς μέν σοι πατήρ, τίς δέ σοι κηδεστής. οὐκοῦν Ἱεροκλῆς μὲν οὗτος, Ἀκάκιος δὲ ἐκεῖνος, ἄμφω λαμπρώ; τί οὖν αὐτοὺς ἐποίησε μεγάλους; ἆρα ἰσχὺς σώματος ἢ ποδῶν τάχος ἢ πλῆθος χρημάτων; οὐ μὰ Δία, ἀλλ’ ἔν τι γενναῖον, οὗ καὶ Μίδα βέλτιον ἂν ἦν μετασχεῖν ἢ σχεῖν ὁπόσον δὴ λἐ- γεται χρυσόν λέγειν γὰρ δυνηθέντες εἰς τοῦθ’ ἧκον, ἐν ᾧπέρ εἰσι. πῶς οὖν οὐ δεινὸν Κίμωνα μὲν τὰ ἐν τοῖς ὅπλοις ζηλῶσαι τοῦ πατρός, σὲ δὲ χείρω φανῆναι τῆς τοῦ πατρὸς ἐν δικαστηρίοις ἰσχύος, καὶ φιλοτιμεῖσθαι μὲν τῷ θυγατρὶ ῥήτο- ρος συνοικεῖν, ὅσον δὲ κέκτησαι ῥητορικῆς προέσθαι παρὸν ὁπόσον ἄπεστι προσλαβεῖν; παραινῶ δή σοι τῷ θέρει μὲν τὰ ἀπελθόντα τῆς μνήμης αὖθις εἰσάγειν, τοῦ χειμῶνος δὲ πλάττειν λόγους ὑφ’ ἡμῖν. ἡ γυνὴ δὲ πάντως ἴψεται παρακα- λοῦσα καὶ συνευχομένη γενέσθαι σοι τὸ διὰ λόγων κάλλος ἢ τὸ Νιρέως. σὺ δὲ μήτοι νομίσῃς αἰσχρὸν ἐπὶ γάμῳ κοινω- νεῖν μουσείων. τὸ γὰρ δὴ φύσει καλὸν οὐκ ἔστιν ὅτε οὐκ ἔστι καλόν, καὶ μείζων ἔπαινος ἀφειμένον παρὰ τοῦ νόμου προ- θυμίᾳ μετιέναι τὴν θήραν. ἀφ’ ἧς εὐφρανεῖς μὲν φίλους, φοβήσεις δὲ δυσμενεῖς, καὶ τοὺς μὲν ἕξεις ὠφελεῖν, τοὺς δὲ κατασύρειν. ἐνθυμοῦ δὲ ὅτι καὶ Σωκράτης σοφὸς ὤν, ὥς φησιν ὁ θεός, τὰς ἐν γήρᾳ μαθήσεις οὐκ ἔφευγεν ἀεὶ καιρὸν εἶναι νομίζων μανθάνειν. οὐδὲν δεινὸν ἐγκεῖσθαι βιβλίοις παρούσης γυναικός, τοῦτο μὲν οὖν ἥδιστον παρ’ ᾗ βούλοιο ἂν εὐδοκιμεῖν, καὶ ταύτης ὁρώσης καλόν τι ποιεῖν. καὶ μὴν εἰ μὲν οὐ κινεῖ σε πρὸς ταῦτα ὁ πατὴρ οὐκ οἰόμενός σε ἀναστή- σεῖν, κρείττων φάνηθι τῆς ἐλπίδος ἐκείνου· κινοῦντος δὲ εἰ μὴ προσέχοις, ἀνάγκη λυπεῖν τε καὶ λυπεῖσθαι. τοῦτο δέ ἐστι ζητοῦντα ῥᾳστώνην ἐν ἀηδίᾳ ζῆν. ἀλλ᾿, ὦ φίλτατε, λογι- σάμενος, ἡλίκην ποιήσεις πανήγυριν καὶ γονεῦσι καὶ κηδεσταῖς καὶ τῷ πάντα ἀρίστῳ θείῳ καὶ τῇ χρηστῇ γυναικὶ καὶ ἐμοὶ τῷ πολλὰ περὶ σὲ πεπονηκότι, νῦν μὲν ἔμπλησον σαυτὸν πα- λαιῶν συγγραμμάτων, γεωργῶν δὲ ἤδη τῶν περὶ τὰς ληνοὺς πεπαυμένων αὐτὸς ἥκειν δεῦρο τύχῃ ἀγαθῇ.