LETTER XI
Sidonius to his dear Montius, greetings.
1. You ask me, most eloquent sir, as you set out for your Sequani [the region around Besancon], to send you a certain satire that I have supposedly written. I am amazed that you would make such a request, for it is not right to think ill so quickly of a friend's character. Was I really going to brood over such a theme -- a man of my age and leisure, when it would have been presumptuous for a young man on active service to have composed such a thing, and dangerous to have published it? For who has not heard what that Calabrian schoolmaster [Horace] said even to a casual acquaintance: "If anyone writes malicious verses against another, there is a right and a remedy at law"?
2. But so that you may harbor no further such suspicion of your friend, let me explain at some length, from the beginning, what it was that tainted me with the smoke and rumor of this sinister reputation. In the time of the Emperor Majorian [reigned 457-461], a document appeared at court -- anonymous, full of biting satirical verses, which attacked vices with considerable invective and people even more, making free with their actual names. At this the citizens of Arles, where the court was then situated, were in an uproar, trying to determine which poet should rightly bear the weight of public indignation -- especially those whom the unknown author had provoked with unmistakable barbs.
3. It happened by chance that the distinguished Catullinus came from the Auvergne to Arles just then, a man always close to me but especially so through our recent comradeship in arms. (For travel often makes fellow citizens into closer friends.) And so Paeonius and Bigerrus laid this trap for the unsuspecting Catullinus: in front of many witnesses, they casually asked whether he recognized this new poem. "Tell me what it says," he replied. When they spouted various verses at him as if in jest, Catullinus dissolved in laughter and, with untimely enthusiasm, began to exclaim that the poem was worthy of being immortalized in golden letters on a bronze tablet at the Rostra, or even on the Capitoline.
4. Paeonius exploded -- for the satirist had sunk into him the bite of a particularly burning tooth -- and turned to the bystanders: "I have found the culprit of our common injury," he said. "You see how Catullinus is dying of laughter? It is obvious that he recognizes what is being recited. For what reason would he rush to pass judgment unless he already knows the whole when he judges so readily from a part? And Sidonius is now in the Auvergne -- from which it follows that the thing was composed by him and heard by this man." They flew into a fury, heaping abuse on a man who was absent, unknowing, and innocent. No allowance was made for his conscience, his loyalty, or for proper inquiry. Thus a popular demagogue dragged the easy credulity of a fickle crowd wherever he wished.
5. For Paeonius was entirely a man of the mob, one who frequently whipped up the sea of sedition with his demagogic blasts. Otherwise, if you asked "What is his family, and from where?" he was of no more than municipal birth, a man whose early career had been advanced more by the distinction of his stepfather than of his own father. Yet he was constantly striving to rise by fair means or foul, stingy with money out of avarice but lavish with it out of ambition. To marry his daughter -- a most honorable girl, to be sure -- into a superior family, our Chremes [a stock name from comedy for a stingy father] had, they say, named a splendid dowry for his Pamphilus, in defiance of the strict customs of civic tradition.
6. When Marcellian's conspiracy to seize the diadem was being hatched, Paeonius had set himself up as the standard-bearer for the noble young men in the faction -- still a newcomer even in old age -- until at last, thanks to his proven record of fortunate daring, the crack of a gaping interregnum shed a gleam of light on the obscurity of his birth. For when the court was empty and the state in turmoil, he alone was found who dared to gird himself with the fasces for the administration of Gaul before even receiving his official commission, and for many months he mounted the tribunal of illustrious authority as a prefect of the spectabilis rank, only completing the last term of his service after scarcely a year with the honorary title -- in the manner of accountants or rather lawyers, whose dignities begin just when their actual work ends.
7. So this man, a prefect and senator of such character -- and I owe it to his family's character that I do not give him the full tribute of praise he deserves -- stirred up the hatred of many, though not of the good, against me while I was still ignorant and still his friend, as though I were the only man of my generation who could compose verse. I came to Arles, suspecting nothing (and how could I?), though my enemies assumed I would not come. After paying my respects to the emperor the next day, I went down to the forum as was customary. When this was observed, the sedition, which had "dared nothing bold," as the poet says, immediately took fright. Some threw themselves at my knees more than was proper; others fled behind statues or hid behind columns to avoid even greeting me; still others walked beside me, grim and scowling.
8. At this I marveled at the excessive pride of the one group and the excessive humility of the other, but refrained from asking the reasons. Then one of the factious crowd, planted for the purpose, came up to greet me. In the course of our conversation he said: "Do you see these people?" "I see them," I said, "and I wonder at their behavior, though I am not astonished by it." Our interpreter then said: "They either curse you or fear you as a satirist." "On what grounds? Why? When?" I replied. "Who recognized the charge? Who brought it? Who proved it?" Then, smiling: "Go, friend, if you do not mind, and be good enough to consult these men who are swelling with indignation in my name -- whether the accuser or informer who fabricated the charge that I wrote a satire also fabricated a copy of the whole thing. In which case it might be safer for them, on reflection, to stop being arrogant."
9. When this message was delivered, they all immediately, not modestly or one by one but hastily and in a crowd, gave me kisses and handshakes. Only my dear Curio [Paeonius, ironically called after the Roman tribune], inveighing against the perfidy of his deserters, was as evening came on carried home and hauled off by his sedan-chair bearers -- men gloomier than undertakers.
10. The next day the emperor ordered that we attend his banquet and the circus games. In the first place on the left horn of the couch reclined the consul ordinarius Severinus, a man of unfailing favor amid the great upheavals of emperors and the unsteady state of the republic. Next to him was Magnus, formerly prefect and lately consul, a person doubled in honor by his twin dignities, with his nephew Camillus reclining behind him -- a young man who had himself held two offices and thereby adorned both his father's proconsulship and his uncle's consulship. Beyond them lay Paeonius, and then Athenius, a man seasoned by the vicissitudes of lawsuits and politics. After him came Gratianensis, a man who should be kept well apart from any hint of infamy, who though he ranked below Severinus in honor surpassed him in favor. I reclined last, where the left margin of the emperor's couch extended to the right.
11. When much of the meal was finished, the emperor addressed the consul -- a brief exchange. The conversation then moved to the ex-consul, and since it turned to literary matters, was frequently renewed. It then passed by natural occasion to the illustrious Camillus, to such a degree that the emperor said: "You truly have an uncle, brother Camillus, on whose account I am glad to have bestowed one consulship on your family." To which Camillus, who had been hoping for something of the sort, seized the moment: "Not one, my lord Augustus, but the first." The remark was received with such applause that not even the emperor's presence could restrain it.
12. Then, asking Athenius some question or other, the emperor's address skipped over Paeonius who sat above him -- whether by chance or design, I do not know. When Paeonius took this slight badly (and badly indeed), he made it worse by answering for the man who had actually been addressed but sat silent. The emperor smiled -- for he was a man who, when he gave himself to sociable occasions, was full of wit while preserving his authority -- and by that chuckle he gave Athenius no less satisfaction for his vindication than Paeonius had given him injury. The shrewd old senator collected himself, seething inwardly as always with the heat of wounded pride at being outranked by Paeonius, and said: "I am not surprised, Augustus, that this man tries to steal my place to stand when he is not ashamed to invade your right to speak."
13. And the illustrious Gratianensis added: "A wide field for satirists is opened by this quarrel." At this the emperor turned his head toward me: "I hear, Count Sidonius, that you write satire." "And I, my lord," I replied, "hear the same thing." Then he said, but laughing: "Spare us at least." "But I," I said, "spare myself by refraining from what is unlawful." After this he asked: "And what shall we do with those who provoke you?" "Whoever he is, my lord emperor," I said, "let him bring a public accusation. If I am proved guilty, I shall pay the penalties I deserve. But if I manage to refute the charges without difficulty, I beg that by your gracious indulgence, without violating the law, I may write whatever I wish against my accuser."
14. At this he glanced at Paeonius and began to consult him with a nod, but the latter merely wavered. When he fell into embarrassed silence and the emperor pressed him, the emperor said: "I grant your request, if you will make this very petition on the spot in verse." "Done," I said, and turning back, as though calling for water for my hands, I paused only as long as it took for the attendants to make their quick circuit of the couch, then returned my elbow to the cushion. The emperor said: "You had promised to petition for the right to write satire in impromptu verse." And I replied:
"Great prince, whoever blames me for writing satire --
I ask that you decree: let him either prove his charge or fear it."
15. The applause that followed was, if I may say so without boasting, equal to what Camillus had received -- earned less by the dignity of the verse than by the brevity of its composition. And the emperor said: "I call God and the state to witness that I shall never again forbid you to write whatever you wish, since the charge brought against you can in no way be proved. At the same time, it is deeply unjust for the imperial judgment to lend its weight to private grudges, so that an innocent and carefree nobility is endangered on account of certain hatreds by an uncertain charge." When I bowed my head respectfully in thanks for this verdict, the faces of my accuser began to turn pale -- faces on which sorrow had recently followed anger. They very nearly froze as though ordered to bare their necks to a drawn sword.
16. After a few more exchanges, we rose. We had scarcely moved out of the emperor's sight and were still putting on our cloaks when the consul fell at my chest, the ex-prefects at my hands, and my so-called friend himself repeatedly and abjectly humiliated himself before me, to the pity of all present -- so much so that I feared he might stir up more resentment by his begging than he had raised by his accusations. In the end, pressed by the entreaties of the assembled dignitaries, I told him that I would never retaliate in verse against his schemes, provided he ceased to attack my reputation in the future. For it should be enough that the charge of satire had earned me fame -- and him, infamy.
17. In short, my dear lord, I shook up not merely the accuser of the slander but the whisperer. But since satisfaction was made to me in such a way that the highest offices and dignities humbled themselves before me on his behalf, I confess that such a beginning of insult was worth the price, when its end was glory. Farewell.
EPISTULA XI
Sidonius Montio suo salutem.
1. Petis tibi, vir disertissime, Sequanos tuos expetituro satiram nescio quam, si sit a nobis perscripta, transmitti. quod quidem te postulasse demiror; non enim sanctum est, ut de moribus amici cito perperam sentias. huic eram themati scilicet incubaturus id iam agens otii idque habens aevi, quod iuvenem militantemque dictasse praesumptiosum fuisset, publicasse autem periculosum? cui namque grammaticum vel salutanti Calaber ille non dixit:
'si mala condiderit in quem quis carmina, ius est
iudiciumque?'
2. sed ne quid ultra tu de sodali simile credas, quid fuerit illud, quod me sinistrae rumor ac fumus opinionis afflavit, longius paulo sed ab origine exponam. temporibus Augusti Maioriani venit in medium charta comitatum, sed carens indice, versuum plena satiricorum mordacium, sane qui satis invectivaliter abusi nominum nuditate carpebant plurimum vitia, plus homines. inter haec fremere Arelatenses, quo loci res agebatur, et quaerere, quem poetarum publici furoris merito pondus urgeret, his maxime auctoribus, quos notis certis auctor incertus exacerbaverat.
3. accidit casu, ut Catullinus inlustris tunc ab Arvernis illo veniret, cum semper mihi tum praecipue commilitio recenti familiaris. saepe enim cives magis amicos peregrinatio facit. igitur insidias nescienti tam Paeonius quam Bigerrus has tetenderunt, ut plurimis coram tamquam ab incauto sciscitarentur, hoc novum carmen an recognosceret. et ille: 'si dixeritis'. cumque frustra diversa quasi per iocum effunderent, solvitur Catullinus in risum, intempestivoque suffragio clamare coepit dignum poema, quod perennandum apicibus auratis iuste tabula rostralis acciperet aut etiam Capitolina.
4. Paeonius exarsit, cui satiricus ille morsum dentis igniti avidius impresserat, atque ad adstantes circulatores: 'iniuriae communis', inquit, 'iam reum inveni. videtis ut Catullinus deperit risu: apparet ei nota memorari. nam quae causa festinam compulit praecipitare sententiam, nisi quod iam tenet totum qui de parte sic iudicat? atqui Sidonius nunc in Arverno est: unde colligitur auctore illo, isto auditore rem textam.' itur in furias inque convicia absentis nescientis innocentisque; conscientiae, fidei, quaestioni nil reservatur. sic levis turbae facilitatem, qua voluit, traxit persona popularis.
5. erat enim ipse Paeonius populi totus, qui tribuniciis flatibus crebro seditionum pelagus impelleret. ceterum si requisisses: 'qui genus, unde domo?', non eminentius quam municipaliter natus quemque inter initia cognosci claritas vitrici magis quam patris fecerat, identidem tamen per fas nefasque crescere affectans pecuniaeque per avaritiam parcus, per ambitum prodigus. namque ut familiae superiori per filiam saltim quamquam honestissimam iungeretur, contra rigorem civici moris splendidam, ut ferunt, dotem Chremes noster Pamphilo suo dixerat.
6. cumque de capessendo diademate coniuratio Marcelliana coqueretur, nobilium iuventuti signiferum sese in factione praebuerat, homo adhuc novus in senectute, donec aliquando propter experimenta felicis audaciae natalium eius obscuritati dedit hiantis interregni rima fulgorem. nam vacante aula turbataque republica solus inventus est, qui ad Gallias administrandas fascibus prius quam codicillis ausus accingi mensibus multis tribunal inlustrium potestatum spectabilis praefectus escenderet, anno peracto militiae extremae terminum circa vix honoratus, numerariorum more seu potius advocatorum, quorum cum finiuntur actiones, tunc incipiunt dignitates.
7. igitur iste sic praefectorius, sic senator, cuius moribus quod praeconia competentia non ex asse persolvo, generi sui moribus debeo, multorum plus quam bonorum odia commovit adhuc ignoranti mihi, adhuc amico, tamquam saeculo meo canere solus versu valerem. venio Arelate, nil adhuc (unde enim?) suspicans, quamquam putarer ab inimicis non affuturus, ac principe post diem viso in forum ex more descendo. quod ubi visum est, ilico expavit, ut ait ille, nil fortiter ausa seditio. alii tamen mihi plus quam deceret ad genua provolvi; alii, ne salutarent, fugere post statuas, occuli post columnas; alii tristes, vultuosique iunctis mihi lateribus incedere.
8. hic ego, quid sibi haec vellet in illis superbiae nimiae, nimiae in istis humilitatis forma, mirari nec ultro tamen causas interrogare, cum subornatus unus e turba factiosorum dat sese mihi consalutandum. tum procedente sermone: 'cernis hos?' inquit. et ego: 'video', inquam, 'gestusque eorum miror equidem nec admiror'. ad haec noster interpres: 'ut satirographum te', inquit, 'aut exsecrantur aut reformidant'. 'unde? cur? quando?' respondi: 'quis crimen agnovit? quis detulit? quis probavit?' moxque subridens: 'perge', inquam, 'amice, nisi molestum est, et tumescentes nomine meo consulere dignare, utrumnam ille delator aut index, qui satiram me scripsisse confinxit, et perscripsisse confinxerit; unde forte sit tutius, si retractabunt, ut superbire desistant'.
9. quod ubi nuntius rettulit, protinus cuncti non modeste neque singuli sed propere et catervatim oscula ac dexteras mihi dederunt. solus Curio meus, in transfugarum perfidiam invectus, cum advesperasceret, per cathedrarios servos vespillonibus tetriores domum raptus ac reportatus est.
10. postridie iussit Augustus, ut epulo suo circensibus ludis interessemus. primus iacebat cornu sinistro consul ordinarius Severinus, vir inter ingentes principum motus atque inaequalem reipublicae statum gratiae semper aequalis; iuxta eum Magnus, olim ex praefecto, nuper ex consule, par honoribus persona geminatis, recumbente post se Camillo, filio fratris, qui duabus dignitatibus et ipse decursis pariter ornaverat proconsulatum patris, patrui consulatum; Paeonius hinc propter atque hinc Athenius, homo litium temporumque varietatibus exercitatus. hunc sequebatur Gratianensis, omni ab infamia vir sequestrandus, qui Severinum sicut honore postibat, ita favore praecesserat. ultimus ego iacebam, qua purpurati latus laevum margine in dextro porrigebatur.
11. edulium multa parte finita Caesaris ad consulem sermo dirigitur, isque succinctus; inde devolvitur ad consularem; cum quo saepe repetitus, quia de litteris factus, ad virum inlustrem Camillum ex occasione transfertur in tantum, ut diceret princeps: 'vere habes patruum, frater Camille, propter quem me familiae tuae consulatum unum gratuler contulisse.' tunc ille, qui simile aliquid optaret, tempore invento: 'non unum', inquit, 'domine Auguste, sed primum.' summo fragore, ut nec Augusti reverentia obsisteret, excepta sententia est.
12. inde nescio quid Athenium interrogans superiectum Paeonium compellatio Augusta praeteriit, casu an industria ignoro. quod cum turpiter Paeonius aegre tulisset, quod fuit turpius, compellato tacente respondit. subrisit Augustus, ut erat auctoritate servata, cum se communioni dedisset, ioci plenus, per quem cachinnum non minus obtigit Athenio vindictae, quam contigisset iniuriae. colligit itaque sese trebacissimus senex et, ut semper intrinsecus aestu pudoris excoquebatur, cur sibi Paeonius anteferretur: 'non miror', inquit, 'Auguste, si mihi standi locum praeripere conetur qui tibi invadere non erubescit loquendi.'
13. et vir illustris Gratianensis: 'multus', inquit, 'hoc iurgio satiricis campus aperitur.' hic imperator ad me cervice conversa: 'audio', ait, 'comes Sidoni, quod satiram scribas.' 'et ego', inquam, 'hoc audio, domine princeps.' tunc ille, sed ridens: 'parce vel nobis.' 'at ego', inquam, 'quod ab inlicitis tempero, mihi parco.' post quae ille: 'et quid faciemus his', inquit, 'qui te lacessunt?' et ego: 'quisquis est iste, domine imperator, publice accuset: si redarguimur, debita luamus supplicia convicti; ceterum obiecta si non inprobabiliter cassaverimus, oro, ut indultu clementiae tuae praeter iuris iniuriam in accusatorem meum quae volo scribam.'
14. ad haec ipse Paeonium conspicatus nutu coepit consulere nutantem, placeretne condicio. sed cum ille confusus reticuisset princepsque consuleret erubescenti, ait: 'annuo postulatis, si hoc ipsum e vestigio versibus petas.' 'fiat', inquam; retrorsumque conversus, tamquam aquam manibus poscerem, tantumque remoratus, quantum stibadii circulum celerantia ministeria percurrunt, cubitum toro reddidi. et imperator: 'spoponderas te licentiam scribendae satirae versibus subitis postulaturum.' et ego:
'scribere me satiram qui culpat, maxime princeps,
hanc rogo decernas aut probet aut timeat.'
15. secutus est fragor, nisi quod dico iactantia est, par Camillano, quem quidem non tam carminis dignitas quam temporis brevitas meruit. et princeps: 'deum testor et statum publicum, me de cetero numquam prohibiturum, quin quae velis scribas, quippe cum tibi crimen impactum probari nullo modo possit; simul et periniurium est sententiam purpurati tribuere privatis hoc simultatibus, ut innocens ac secura nobilitas propter odia certa crimine incerto periclitetur.' ad hanc ipse sententiam cum verecunde capite demisso gratias agerem, contionatoris mei coeperunt ora pallere, in quae paulo ante post iram tristitia successerat; nec satis defuit, quin gelarent tamquam ad exertum praebere cervices iussa mucronem.
16. vix post haec alia pauca: surreximus. paululum ab aspectu imperatoris processeramus atque etiamnunc chlamydibus induebamur, cum mihi consul ad pectus, praefectorii ad manus cadere, ipse ille meus amicus crebro et abiecte miserantibus cunctis humiliari, ita ut timerem, ne mihi invidiam supplicando moveret, quam criminando non concitaverat. dixi ad extremum pressus oratu procerum conglobatorum sciret conatibus suis versu nil reponendum, derogare actibus meis in posterum tamen si pepercisset; etenim sufficere debere, quod satirae obiectio famam mihi parasset, [sed] sibi infamiam.
17. in summa perculi quidem, domine maior, non assertorem calumniae tantum quantum murmuratorem. sed cum mihi sic satisfactum est, ut pectori meo pro reatu eius tot potestatum dignitatumque culmina et iura summitterentur, fateor exordium contumeliae talis tanti fuisse, cui finis gloria fuit. vale.
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LETTER XI
Sidonius to his dear Montius, greetings.
1. You ask me, most eloquent sir, as you set out for your Sequani [the region around Besancon], to send you a certain satire that I have supposedly written. I am amazed that you would make such a request, for it is not right to think ill so quickly of a friend's character. Was I really going to brood over such a theme -- a man of my age and leisure, when it would have been presumptuous for a young man on active service to have composed such a thing, and dangerous to have published it? For who has not heard what that Calabrian schoolmaster [Horace] said even to a casual acquaintance: "If anyone writes malicious verses against another, there is a right and a remedy at law"?
2. But so that you may harbor no further such suspicion of your friend, let me explain at some length, from the beginning, what it was that tainted me with the smoke and rumor of this sinister reputation. In the time of the Emperor Majorian [reigned 457-461], a document appeared at court -- anonymous, full of biting satirical verses, which attacked vices with considerable invective and people even more, making free with their actual names. At this the citizens of Arles, where the court was then situated, were in an uproar, trying to determine which poet should rightly bear the weight of public indignation -- especially those whom the unknown author had provoked with unmistakable barbs.
3. It happened by chance that the distinguished Catullinus came from the Auvergne to Arles just then, a man always close to me but especially so through our recent comradeship in arms. (For travel often makes fellow citizens into closer friends.) And so Paeonius and Bigerrus laid this trap for the unsuspecting Catullinus: in front of many witnesses, they casually asked whether he recognized this new poem. "Tell me what it says," he replied. When they spouted various verses at him as if in jest, Catullinus dissolved in laughter and, with untimely enthusiasm, began to exclaim that the poem was worthy of being immortalized in golden letters on a bronze tablet at the Rostra, or even on the Capitoline.
4. Paeonius exploded -- for the satirist had sunk into him the bite of a particularly burning tooth -- and turned to the bystanders: "I have found the culprit of our common injury," he said. "You see how Catullinus is dying of laughter? It is obvious that he recognizes what is being recited. For what reason would he rush to pass judgment unless he already knows the whole when he judges so readily from a part? And Sidonius is now in the Auvergne -- from which it follows that the thing was composed by him and heard by this man." They flew into a fury, heaping abuse on a man who was absent, unknowing, and innocent. No allowance was made for his conscience, his loyalty, or for proper inquiry. Thus a popular demagogue dragged the easy credulity of a fickle crowd wherever he wished.
5. For Paeonius was entirely a man of the mob, one who frequently whipped up the sea of sedition with his demagogic blasts. Otherwise, if you asked "What is his family, and from where?" he was of no more than municipal birth, a man whose early career had been advanced more by the distinction of his stepfather than of his own father. Yet he was constantly striving to rise by fair means or foul, stingy with money out of avarice but lavish with it out of ambition. To marry his daughter -- a most honorable girl, to be sure -- into a superior family, our Chremes [a stock name from comedy for a stingy father] had, they say, named a splendid dowry for his Pamphilus, in defiance of the strict customs of civic tradition.
6. When Marcellian's conspiracy to seize the diadem was being hatched, Paeonius had set himself up as the standard-bearer for the noble young men in the faction -- still a newcomer even in old age -- until at last, thanks to his proven record of fortunate daring, the crack of a gaping interregnum shed a gleam of light on the obscurity of his birth. For when the court was empty and the state in turmoil, he alone was found who dared to gird himself with the fasces for the administration of Gaul before even receiving his official commission, and for many months he mounted the tribunal of illustrious authority as a prefect of the spectabilis rank, only completing the last term of his service after scarcely a year with the honorary title -- in the manner of accountants or rather lawyers, whose dignities begin just when their actual work ends.
7. So this man, a prefect and senator of such character -- and I owe it to his family's character that I do not give him the full tribute of praise he deserves -- stirred up the hatred of many, though not of the good, against me while I was still ignorant and still his friend, as though I were the only man of my generation who could compose verse. I came to Arles, suspecting nothing (and how could I?), though my enemies assumed I would not come. After paying my respects to the emperor the next day, I went down to the forum as was customary. When this was observed, the sedition, which had "dared nothing bold," as the poet says, immediately took fright. Some threw themselves at my knees more than was proper; others fled behind statues or hid behind columns to avoid even greeting me; still others walked beside me, grim and scowling.
8. At this I marveled at the excessive pride of the one group and the excessive humility of the other, but refrained from asking the reasons. Then one of the factious crowd, planted for the purpose, came up to greet me. In the course of our conversation he said: "Do you see these people?" "I see them," I said, "and I wonder at their behavior, though I am not astonished by it." Our interpreter then said: "They either curse you or fear you as a satirist." "On what grounds? Why? When?" I replied. "Who recognized the charge? Who brought it? Who proved it?" Then, smiling: "Go, friend, if you do not mind, and be good enough to consult these men who are swelling with indignation in my name -- whether the accuser or informer who fabricated the charge that I wrote a satire also fabricated a copy of the whole thing. In which case it might be safer for them, on reflection, to stop being arrogant."
9. When this message was delivered, they all immediately, not modestly or one by one but hastily and in a crowd, gave me kisses and handshakes. Only my dear Curio [Paeonius, ironically called after the Roman tribune], inveighing against the perfidy of his deserters, was as evening came on carried home and hauled off by his sedan-chair bearers -- men gloomier than undertakers.
10. The next day the emperor ordered that we attend his banquet and the circus games. In the first place on the left horn of the couch reclined the consul ordinarius Severinus, a man of unfailing favor amid the great upheavals of emperors and the unsteady state of the republic. Next to him was Magnus, formerly prefect and lately consul, a person doubled in honor by his twin dignities, with his nephew Camillus reclining behind him -- a young man who had himself held two offices and thereby adorned both his father's proconsulship and his uncle's consulship. Beyond them lay Paeonius, and then Athenius, a man seasoned by the vicissitudes of lawsuits and politics. After him came Gratianensis, a man who should be kept well apart from any hint of infamy, who though he ranked below Severinus in honor surpassed him in favor. I reclined last, where the left margin of the emperor's couch extended to the right.
11. When much of the meal was finished, the emperor addressed the consul -- a brief exchange. The conversation then moved to the ex-consul, and since it turned to literary matters, was frequently renewed. It then passed by natural occasion to the illustrious Camillus, to such a degree that the emperor said: "You truly have an uncle, brother Camillus, on whose account I am glad to have bestowed one consulship on your family." To which Camillus, who had been hoping for something of the sort, seized the moment: "Not one, my lord Augustus, but the first." The remark was received with such applause that not even the emperor's presence could restrain it.
12. Then, asking Athenius some question or other, the emperor's address skipped over Paeonius who sat above him -- whether by chance or design, I do not know. When Paeonius took this slight badly (and badly indeed), he made it worse by answering for the man who had actually been addressed but sat silent. The emperor smiled -- for he was a man who, when he gave himself to sociable occasions, was full of wit while preserving his authority -- and by that chuckle he gave Athenius no less satisfaction for his vindication than Paeonius had given him injury. The shrewd old senator collected himself, seething inwardly as always with the heat of wounded pride at being outranked by Paeonius, and said: "I am not surprised, Augustus, that this man tries to steal my place to stand when he is not ashamed to invade your right to speak."
13. And the illustrious Gratianensis added: "A wide field for satirists is opened by this quarrel." At this the emperor turned his head toward me: "I hear, Count Sidonius, that you write satire." "And I, my lord," I replied, "hear the same thing." Then he said, but laughing: "Spare us at least." "But I," I said, "spare myself by refraining from what is unlawful." After this he asked: "And what shall we do with those who provoke you?" "Whoever he is, my lord emperor," I said, "let him bring a public accusation. If I am proved guilty, I shall pay the penalties I deserve. But if I manage to refute the charges without difficulty, I beg that by your gracious indulgence, without violating the law, I may write whatever I wish against my accuser."
14. At this he glanced at Paeonius and began to consult him with a nod, but the latter merely wavered. When he fell into embarrassed silence and the emperor pressed him, the emperor said: "I grant your request, if you will make this very petition on the spot in verse." "Done," I said, and turning back, as though calling for water for my hands, I paused only as long as it took for the attendants to make their quick circuit of the couch, then returned my elbow to the cushion. The emperor said: "You had promised to petition for the right to write satire in impromptu verse." And I replied:
"Great prince, whoever blames me for writing satire -- I ask that you decree: let him either prove his charge or fear it."
15. The applause that followed was, if I may say so without boasting, equal to what Camillus had received -- earned less by the dignity of the verse than by the brevity of its composition. And the emperor said: "I call God and the state to witness that I shall never again forbid you to write whatever you wish, since the charge brought against you can in no way be proved. At the same time, it is deeply unjust for the imperial judgment to lend its weight to private grudges, so that an innocent and carefree nobility is endangered on account of certain hatreds by an uncertain charge." When I bowed my head respectfully in thanks for this verdict, the faces of my accuser began to turn pale -- faces on which sorrow had recently followed anger. They very nearly froze as though ordered to bare their necks to a drawn sword.
16. After a few more exchanges, we rose. We had scarcely moved out of the emperor's sight and were still putting on our cloaks when the consul fell at my chest, the ex-prefects at my hands, and my so-called friend himself repeatedly and abjectly humiliated himself before me, to the pity of all present -- so much so that I feared he might stir up more resentment by his begging than he had raised by his accusations. In the end, pressed by the entreaties of the assembled dignitaries, I told him that I would never retaliate in verse against his schemes, provided he ceased to attack my reputation in the future. For it should be enough that the charge of satire had earned me fame -- and him, infamy.
17. In short, my dear lord, I shook up not merely the accuser of the slander but the whisperer. But since satisfaction was made to me in such a way that the highest offices and dignities humbled themselves before me on his behalf, I confess that such a beginning of insult was worth the price, when its end was glory. Farewell.
Modern English rendering for readability. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek for scholarly use.