Letter 254: The maiden about whom your Holiness wrote to me is at present disposed to think, that if she were of full age she would refuse every proposal of marriage. She is, however, so young, that even if she were disposed to marriage, she ought not yet to be either given or betrothed to any one. Besides this, my lord Benenatus, brother revered and belov...

To my lord most blessed, venerable, and beloved brother and fellow bishop Benenatus, and to the brethren who are with you, Augustine and the brethren who are with me send greeting in the Lord. 1. The girl about whom Your Holiness wrote to me is of such a disposition that, if she were already of mature age, she would not consent to marry anyone. But she is of such an age that, even if she wished to marry, she ought not yet be given or promised to anyone. In addition, God protects her in the Church in such a way that He guards her against the unscrupulous—not so that she can be handed over to whomever I wish, but so that she cannot be seized by one who ought not to have her, my lord Benenatus, most beloved and venerable brother. And so the match which you have been kind enough to propose does not displease me, if she is to marry. But whether she will marry, even though we prefer what she has on her lips, we do not yet know, because she is at an age where her saying she wants to be a consecrated virgin is more the playfulness of a chattering child than the pledge of one making a profession. Furthermore, she has a maternal aunt whose husband, the honorable brother Felix—when I conferred with him about this matter (for I could not and should not have done otherwise)—received the proposal not unwillingly; indeed, he was even pleased. But by right of friendship he gently expressed regret that nothing had been written to them about it. For perhaps the mother, who does not now appear, will appear, and nature, I believe, gives her will priority over all others in giving away her daughter—unless the girl shall have reached an age at which, by a freer right, she may choose for herself what she wishes. Let Your Sincerity also consider this: even if the full and complete power over her marriage were granted to me, and even if she herself, already mature and willing to marry, entrusted herself to be given to whomever I chose, with God as judge—I say this, and I say it truly, that this match pleases me, yet before God as judge I could not refuse a better one, and whether a better one will come along is of course uncertain. Therefore Your Charity sees how many considerations converge so that she cannot now be promised by me to anyone at all.

To Benenatus, My Most Blessed Lord, My Esteemed and Amiable Brother and Partner in the Priestly Office, and to the Brethren Who are with Him, Augustine and the Brethren Who are with Him Send Greeting in the Lord. The maiden about whom your Holiness wrote to me is at present disposed to think, that if she were of full age she would refuse every proposal of marriage. She is, however, so young, that even if she were disposed to marriage, she ought not yet to be either given or betrothed to any one. Besides this, my lord Benenatus, brother revered and beloved, it must be remembered that God takes her under guardianship in His Church with the design of protecting her against wicked men; placing her, therefore, under my care not so as that she can be given by me to whomsoever I might choose, but so as that she cannot be taken away against my will by any person who would be an unsuitable partner. The proposal which you have been pleased to mention is one which, if she were disposed and prepared to marry, would not displease me; but whether she will marry any one — although for my own part, I would much prefer that she carried out what she now talks of — I do not in the meantime know, for she is at an age in which her declaration that she wishes to be a nun is to be received rather as the flippant utterance of one talking heedlessly, than as the deliberate promise of one making a solemn vow. Moreover, she has an aunt by the mother's side married to our honourable brother Felix, with whom I have conferred in regard to this matter, — for I neither could, nor indeed should have avoided consulting him — and he has not been reluctant to entertain the proposal, but has, on the contrary, expressed his satisfaction; but he expressed not unreasonably his regret that nothing had been written to him on the subject, although his relationship entitled him to be apprised of it. For, perhaps, the mother of the maiden will also come forward, though in the meantime she does not make herself known, and to a mother's wishes in regard to the giving away of a daughter, nature gives in my opinion the precedence above all others, unless the maiden herself be already old enough to have legitimately a stronger claim to choose for herself what she pleases. I wish your Honour also to understand, that if the final and entire authority in the matter of her marriage were committed to me, and she herself, being of age and willing to marry, were to entrust herself to me under God as my Judge to give her to whomsoever I thought best, — I declare, and I declare the truth, in saying that the proposal which you mention pleases me meanwhile, but because of God being my Judge I cannot pledge myself to reject on her behalf a better offer if it were made; but whether any such proposal shall at any future time be made is wholly uncertain. Your Holiness perceives, therefore, how many important considerations concur to make it impossible for her to be, in the meantime, definitely promised to any one.

EPISTOLA 254 Scripta post a. 395. A. eidem Benenato, qui pronubum agebat Rustici filio, respondens cur nondum possit cuiquam puellam promittere cum ratio habenda sit propinquorum et maxime matris. DOMINO BEATISSIMO, ET VENERABILI AC DESIDERABILI FRATRI ET CONSACERDOTI BENENATO, ET QUI TECUM SUNT FRATRIBUS, AUGUSTINUS ET QUI MECUM SUNT FRATRES, IN DOMINO SALUTEM. 1. Puella de qua mihi scripsit Sanctitas tua, in ea voluntate est, ut si aetas ei iam matura esset, nulli in nuptiis conveniret. In ea vero aetate est, ut si voluntatem nubendi haberet, nulli adhuc dari vel promitti deberet. Huc accedit quia eam Deus in Ecclesia sic tuetur, ut contra improbos tueatur; non ut cui voluero tradi possit, sed ut a quo non oportet, rapi non possit, domine Benenate dilectissime et venerabilis frater. Conditio itaque quam insinuare dignatus es, non mihi displicet, si nuptura est: utrum autem nuptura sit, etsi illud quod in ore habet magis optamus, nunc tamen ignoramus; quia in his annis est, ut et quod se dicit velle esse sanctimonialem, iocus sit potius garrientis, quam sponsio profitentis. Deinde habet materteram, cuius vir honorabilis frater noster Felix, dum de hac re contulissem cum illo (neque enim possem aliter, vel deberem) non quidem invitus accepit, imo etiam gratulatus est; sed iure amicitiae non importune doluit quod eis nihil inde sit scriptum. Fortassis enim quae nunc non apparet, apparebit et mater, cuius voluntatem in tradenda filia, omnibus, ut arbitror, natura praeponit; nisi eadem puella in ea iam aetate fuerit, ut iure licentiore sibi eligat ipsa quod velit. Illud quoque cogitet Sinceritas tua, quia si mihi de nuptiis eius potestas summa ac tota tribuatur, atque ipsa quoque iam matura et nubere volens, cui voluero se tradendam sub Deo iudice mihi committat; sic dico, et verum dico, mihi placere istam conditionem, ut propter Deum iudicem non possim respuere meliorem: quae utrum adventura sit, utique incertum est. Quapropter videt Caritas tua quanta consideranda concurrant, ut nunc a me cuiquam promitti omnino non possit.