Letter 71: My first letter to you is about something noble -- if indeed friendship is noble.

To Eumolpius. (359) My first letter to you is about something noble -- if indeed friendship is noble. I write in the hope of persuading you, and even if I am destined to fail, there is no harm in having tried. You and Parthenius became close, and the bond deepened to the point where you meant more to each other than your own relatives. Then some suspicion crept in and broke that bond. Parthenius was thought to have done a favor for someone you disliked. He insists he is free of the charge and swears he has no part in what you blame him for. I believe him. For how likely is it that a man who was doing everything to win you back would deprive himself of what he already had? And even if he has truly caused you pain, the penalty he has already paid is enough. Taking revenge may be sweeter in the moment than bearing an injury graciously, but when a man is praised for having borne it, the pleasure is far greater. And forgiveness is, on the whole, more Greek than vengeance. Consider this too: Parthenius will go around telling everyone he loves your friendship, while you refuse him. People will take his humility as proof of his decency, and your refusal as proof of...

**To Eumolpius** (359) My first letter to you concerns something noble. If indeed friendship is noble, I write to you and would wish to persuade you; but even should I fail to persuade, there is no harm in having made the attempt. You became intimate with Parthenius, and the matter advanced to such a point that you were dearer to one another than your own kin. But a certain suspicion that crept in severed this bond, and Parthenius was thought to have done a favor for a man you regarded with hostility. Standing clear of the actual charge, as he says, yet having somehow acquired an undeserved accusation, he swears he is innocent of the reproach — and I believe him. For how is it likely that a man doing everything in his power to win you back would have deprived himself of what he already possessed? And indeed, even if he has grieved you deeply, the punishment he has already suffered is enough. Taking vengeance rather than bearing things with patience may be sweeter in the moment, but when a man is praised for having endured, the pleasure is greater still. And in general, forgiveness is more befitting a Hellene than retribution. Consider this: Parthenius, approaching many people, will confess his longing for your friendship, while you will seem to look down on him — and people will take the one as a sign of his reasonableness, and the other, if I may say so, of your stubbornness. Take care, then, that in indulging your anger you do not cause many to think Parthenius's conduct moderate while censuring yours. Rather, judging such a change of heart befitting your own nature, showing respect for me as your kinsman and elder, and deeming the unproven accusation less powerful than all the ways Parthenius has openly given you joy, return to the disposition you held before the suspicion arose — and show him that he has lost nothing, since in place of many appeals he carries this one letter of mine.

Εὐμολπίῳ (359) Πρώτην ἐπιστολὴν περὶ καλοῦ τινος. εἰ δὴ καλὸν ἡ φιλία, πρὸς σὲ γράφω καὶ βουλοίμην ἄν σε πεῖσαι, μέλλοντι δὲ μὴ πείσειν οὐκ ἂν ἔχοι κακῶς τὸ προελέσθαι. ἐγένου Παρθενίῳ συνήθης καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα εἰς τοῦτο προῆλθεν ὣσθ ὑμᾶς ἀλλήλοις γαῖ πρὸ τῶν οἰκείων εἶναι τοῦτον δὲ τὸν δεσμὸν ὑποψία τις ἐμπεσοῦσα διέκοψε καὶ ἔδοξε Παρθένιος ᾧ χαλεπὼς εἶχες. τοῦτον εὖ πεποιηκέναι. τοῦ μὲν ἐγκλή- ματος ἀφεστώς, ἰός φησιν, αἰτίαν δέ πως οὐ προσήκουσαν λαβὼν ὄμνυσι καθαρεύειν τῆς μέμψεως, καὶ ἐγὼ πείθομαι. τὸν γὰρ ὅπως σὲ ἀνακτήσαιτο πάντα ποιοῦντα πῶς εἰκὸς αὑτὸν ὧν εἶχεν ἀποστερῆσαι; καὶ μὴν εἰ καὶ σφόδρα σε λελύπηκεν, ἤν τε δέδωκεν ἱκανὴ δίκη καὶ τὸ δίκην λαμβάνειν τοῦ πρᾴως φέρειν εἰ καὶ ἥδιον εὐθύς, ἀλλ’ ὅταν τις ὅτι ἤνεγ- κεν ἐπαινῆται, μεῖζον εἰς ἡδονήν. καὶ ἔστι γε ὅλως ἡ συγγνώ- μη τῆς τιμωρίας Ἑλληνικώτερον. ἐνθυμοῦ δέ, ὅτι πολλοῖς οὑτοσὶ προσιὼν ἐρᾶν ὁμολογήσει τῆς σῆς φιλίας, σὲ δὲ ὑπερ- ὁρᾶν, ὄι σημεῖον ποιήσονται τὸ μὲν τῆς τοῦδε ἐπιεικείας. τὸ δὲ τῆς ὑμετέρας, ἵν᾿ οὕτως εἴπω, φιλονεικίας. ὄρα οὖν μὴ τῷ θυμῷ χαριζόμενος πολλοὺς παρασκευάσῃς τὰ μὲν Παρθε- νίου νομίζειν μέτρια, τοῖς δὲ ὑμετέροις ἐπιτιμᾶν. ἀλλὰ τῇ τι σαυτοῦ φύσει πρέπειν ἡγησάμενος τὴν τοιαύτην μεταβολὴν καὶ ἐμὲ τὸν συγγενῆ καὶ πρεσβύτερον αἰδεσθεὶς καὶ τῆς οὐ φανερᾶς αἰτίας ὅσα σε προδήλως εὔφρανε Παρθένιος ἰσχυρό- τερα κρίνας ἐπάνελθε πρὸς τὴν γνώμην τὴν πρὸ τῆς ὑποψίας καὶ δεῖξον. ὡς οὐκ ἐζημίωται μίαν φέρων ἀντὶ πολλῶν τὴν ἐμὴν ἐπισιυλήν.