Letter 2: Theodore Studite, Letter 2; Greek heading: Τῷ αὐτῷ.

I am writing now for the second time to my lord and father; I do not know whether you received my letter. In that one, then, whatever the occasion required and lay within our power, we uttered (unworthily, to be sure); and now too, whatever it falls to us and God grants for the profit of my humble soul, or even for the consolation, I make bold to say, of your great-heartedness, O father, we shall set forth. And this I say now, as I have said many times before, and offer it as my apology: that if there is any faculty of speech in me and some small aptitude, however slight, for writing, it has not been bestowed for my sake, your wretched servant, but on account of you, who possess the ungrudging grace welling up like a spring in your heart, and who for this reason hold it your gladsome and joyful work to instruct and make wise not only us, whom certain men, supposing us to be your nephews, were mistaken about, but also all those whom you have brought forth as sons and children out of the Spirit (and that I speak the truth, the events themselves have shown, on your behalf, the true shepherd, who has laid down his soul for his own sheep [cf. John 10:11]) -- that we might not be turned aside anywhere outside the truth, even though we might perhaps readily have chosen to pour out our own blood. This, then, is the oversight of a true shepherd, refuting the falsely-named and showing himself truly worthy before God and Father and chief Shepherd. The things, therefore, that have been graciously granted to me on your account, I bring before you in some scant measure; and you stand gathering in, like a good farmer, the -- I know not how to put it -- meager-bearing fruits of the seeds you sowed in me with much care and ungrudgingly. What then shall I say further that is fitting and well-received by your holy soul, my sweet father? Who has separated me from your ever-longed-for face, from your sweet-spoken company, from your salvation-working guidance? You are my light, the ever-shining lamp of the dark reasonings within my soul, a staff supporting the feebleness of my heart, the turning-back of despondency, the anointing of eagerness, a gospel, joy, festival, good repute. Without you even the sun is downcast to me. I did not wish to behold the air rather than to gaze upon your countenance. Nothing on earth was sweet to me when your company was not present. For what is more longed-for than a true father, and that taken as in God's stead? A son who loves his father and is truly genuine knows this. What need is there of many words? Let me declare what I came to learn: that often, even when I had not set out to come to your holy cell, I would somehow without perceiving it, as though something were drawing me, arrive before your face, so that when you often asked, "Why have you come?" [originally in Greek as direct quotation], I was at a loss to answer -- so utterly did my salvation hang upon you. And who does not run toward the light? But I give thanks to God, through whom I was torn away from you by the hands of those who have trampled on his law and who began [their wickedness] from like deeds. May the Lord my God not reckon the sin to them, but may he draw them to recognition of their audacity, that they may give the father back to us, and they themselves be found not liable on this account. They shut you up, as we have learned, in a little hut, but they thereby showed you to be a dweller of heaven. They kept you under guard, yet did not perceive that they guarded a treasure of confession of God. And from this they might know, if only they would look, that they have made you honored among men, and a savior to the world, and one whom many delight to behold. You received the dishonors and outrages along with Christ; you were persecuted as a blessed man; they scattered your sheep, because they struck you the shepherd as they struck Christ. Even if it is bold to say it, yet his is the saying: "If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you" [cf. John 15:20], and the rest, all that brings the like suffering to those who follow him; for if we suffer with him, as the great Paul says, it is that we may also be glorified together with him [cf. Romans 8:17]. And so much for these things. But to me, the prodigal and unworthy one, through your holy prayers, righteous father, the merciful Lord has granted consolation and to be together with you in the spirit; for I am ever as one seeing you, and as one conversing with you, and as one receiving your prayer, and as one sheltered, and as one giving and receiving words for the establishing of the confession which you have confessed. And I seem, as your voice sounds, to hear these things: "Humble Theodore, in truth we suffer a little, since God brings a good hope." These things are my consolation, these my refreshment. Do not be afraid, father, on my account, your servant and utterly cast-off one; for indeed I am a defilement of heaven and earth, and more frozen than any man. Yet I make bold to say, unworthy though I am, that I am of good hope, looking upward, strengthened by your intercession, not despairing over what I have suffered, but reproaching myself that I did not bear it manfully and according to reason, and that I look upon my own sufferings as few and worth nothing in comparison with the life-giving sufferings of the saints. For there came to me a reading of many martyrdoms recorded in twelve tablets, so that my heart was smitten and I dare not even say that I have suffered anything for Christ. And what is sweeter, father -- I remind you as a servant -- than to suffer for his sake? Look upward, father; behold the Lord; gaze upon the choirs of angels; fix your eyes upon the holy dances; behold, upon a throne high and lifted up, the Judge of the world, who will proclaim you a faithful servant and a keeper of his commandments and, what is greater, a confessor. Then, where will he send you? Not into eternal fire, which receives those disobedient to his law, but into a place that receives life, into immortal rest and boundlessly-exultant godly-mindedness; for "Enter," he says, "into the joy of your Lord" [Matthew 25:21]. The eyes of all of us look to you; we are all great-hearted, now that you stand firm. May the help of God be upon you all the more, fortifying you, empowering you, bracing you, making you manful. You who fear God, do not fear what man has done to you, or may perhaps yet do. You have trusted in the Lord; you are Mount Zion; you shall not be shaken forever [cf. Psalm 124:1 LXX]; for you have as your indweller the craftsman and maker of the Jerusalem above. The venomous and deceitfully-willing voices of those who slither against you like serpents and wish to lead you away from the living wood of the truth -- flee them, and once strengthened in the truth and bound fast by the many testimonies of holy Scripture, and sometimes by godly men as well, give ear to nothing, unto utter immovability, that you may attain also the commendation of that saying: "He who does these things shall not be shaken forever" [cf. Psalm 14:5 LXX]. All the brothers are in good health: the lord deacon, my father, my sweet brother and now all the more worthily dear, and the rest, my beloved and honored ones and your children, for all of whom together with me, father, pray. They are all running their course well; their only longing is your health in the Lord, and everything whatever they suffer is easy to bear. Altogether we are also grieved and distressed and vexed and faint-hearted, and we have the harassments of wicked reasonings (for it is not possible to pass through this life apart from afflictions), but through your hope and prayer we are strong. And for me, father, pray, because I am learning holy Isaiah by heart; and make known to me whether you wish me to read as well as to write.

1 Δευτερεύω ἄρτι γράφων πρὸς τὸν κῦριν καὶ πατέρα μου· οὐκ οἶδα εἰ ἐδέξω τὰ γράμματα. καὶ ἐν ἐκείνοις οὖν, εἴ τι ὁ καιρὸς ἀπῄτει καὶ ἦν ἡμῖν εἰς δύναμιν, ἀναξίως δ' οὖν ὅμως ἐφθεγξάμεθα, καὶ ἄρτι δὲ ὅσα ἐπιβάλλει καὶ διδοῖ θεὸς ἐπ' ὠφελείᾳ τῆς ταπεινῆς μου ψυχῆς ἢ καὶ πρὸς παρηγορίαν, τολμῶν λέγω, τῆς σῆς μεγαλοψυχίας, ὦ πάτερ, προσερήσομεν. τοῦτο δὲ ὡς πολλάκις καὶ νῦν λέγω καὶ ἀπολογοῦμαι, ὅτι, εἴ τις λόγος ἐν ἐμοὶ καὶ ἐπιτηδειότης πώς ποτε μικρὰ περὶ τοῦ γράφειν, οὐ δι' ἐμὲ τὸν ἄθλιον δοῦλόν σου δεδώρηται, ἀλλ' ἕνεκα σοῦ τοῦ ἔχοντος τὴν ἄφθονον χάριν ἐν καρδίᾳ πηγάζουσαν καὶ διὰ τοῦτο ἡδομένως καὶ χαιρόντως ἔργον ἔχειν παιδεύειν καὶ σοφίζειν οὐ μόνον ἡμᾶς, οὓς ὡς ἀδελφιδοῦς οἰηθέντες τινὲς ἀπεσφάλησαν, ἀλλὰ καὶ πάντας, ὅσους ἐκ πνεύματος ἤνεγκας υἱούς τε καὶ παῖδάς σου (καὶ ὅτι ἀληθεύω ἔδειξε τὰ πράγματα ὑπὲρ σοῦ τοῦ ἀληθινοῦ ποιμένος, τοῦ τὴν ψυχὴν τεθεικότος ὑπὲρ ἰδίων προβάτων), ὡς ἂν μὴ παρατραποῖμεν ἔξω που τῆς ἀληθείας, αἱρησάμενοι τάχα προθύμως καὶ τὸ οἰκεῖον αἷμα κενῶσαι. αὕτη οὖν ποιμένος ἀληθινοῦ ἐπιστασία, διελέγχουσα τοὺς ψευδωνύμους καὶ ὄντως δεικνυμένη τῷ θεῷ καὶ πατρὶ καὶ ἀρχιποίμενι ἐπάξιος. Τὰ διὰ σὲ τοιγαροῦν κεχαρισμένα μοι ὀλιγοστῶς πώς σοι προσάγω· καὶ εἶ δρεπόμενος τοὺς τῶν καταβληθέντων σοι πολυφροντίστως καὶ ἀφθόνως σπερμάτων, ὡς ἀγαθὸς γεωργός, τοὺς οὐκ οἶδ' ὅπως εἴποιμι ἰσχνοφόρους καρπούς. τί οὖν λοιπὸν εἴπω πρόσφορον καὶ εὐαπόδεκτον τῇ σῇ ἁγίᾳ ψυχῇ, πάτερ μου γλυκεῖε; τίς με διέστησεν ἀπὸ τοῦ σοῦ ἀειποθοῦς προσώπου, τῆς ἡδυλαλοῦς συντυχίας, τῆς σωτηριοποιοῦ ὁδηγίας; σύ μου τὸ φῶς, ὁ ἀειφανὴς λύχνος τῶν ἐν ψυχῇ σκοτεινῶν λογισμῶν, ῥάβδος ὑποστηρίζων μου τὸ ἄτονον τῆς καρδίας, ἀθυμίας μεταβολή, προθυμίας ἀλοιφή, εὐαγγέλιον, χαρά, ἑορτή, εὐδοξία. ἄνευ σοῦ καὶ ὁ ἥλιός μοι κατηφής. ἐγὼ τὸν ἀέρα βλέπειν οὐκ ἤθελον ἢ τὸν σὸν προσβλέπειν χαρακτῆρα. οὐδέν μοι ἦν ἡδὺ τῶν ἐπὶ γῆς μὴ παρούσης τῆς σῆς συνουσίας. τί γὰρ πατρὸς ἀληθινοῦ ποθεινότερον καὶ τοῦτο ἐπὶ θεοῦ λαμβανόμενον; οἶδεν τοῦτο παῖς φιλοπάτωρ καὶ ὄντως γνήσιος. τί πολλῶν ῥημάτων χρεία; ἐξείπω ὅπερ ἐπάνθανον· ὅτι μου πολλάκις καὶ μὴ ὡρμημένου ἔρχεσθαι ἐν τῷ ἁγίῳ κελλίῳ σου ἀνεπαισθήτως πως, ὥς τινος ἕλκοντος, ἐπῄειν κατὰ πρόσωπόν σου, ὡς πολλάκις ἐρωτῶντος σου "4τί ἧκες;"5 ἀπορεῖν με ἀποκρίνεσθαι, οὕτω τῆς σωτηρίας μου ἐν σοὶ ἀποκρεμαμένης. καὶ τίς πρὸς τὸ φῶς οὐκ ἐπιτρέχει; ἀλλ' εὐχαριστῶ τῶ θεῷ, δι' οὗ σου ἐξεσπάσθην ὑπὸ χειρῶν τῶν πατησάντων τὸν νόμον αὐτοῦ καὶ ἠργμένων ἐξ ὁμοίων. μὴ αὐτοῖς λογισθείη κύριος ὁ θεός μου τὴν ἁμαρτίαν, ἕλξοι δὲ εἰς ἐπίγνωσιν τοῦ τολμήματος, ἵν' ἡμῖν μὲν ἀποδῶσιν τὸν πατέρα, κἀκεῖνοι περὶ τοῦδε ἀνεύθυνοι εὑρεθῶσιν. ἐνέκλεισάν σε, ὡς ἐμάθομεν, ἐν οἰκίσκῳ μικρῷ, ἀλλὰ τοῦ οὐρανοῦ σε οἰκήτορα ἀνέδειξαν. ἐφρούρησαν, οὐκ ᾔσθοντο δέ· θησαυρὸν γὰρ ὁμολογίας θεοῦ. κἀκ τούτου γνοῖεν δ' ἄν, εἴπερ βλέψοιεν, ὅτι σε τίμιον ἐν ἀνθρώποις ἐγνώρισαν καὶ κόσμῳ σωτήριον καὶ πολλοῖς φιλοθέατον. Ἐδέξω τὰς ἀτιμίας καὶ ὕβρεις μετὰ Χριστοῦ· ἐδιώχθης ὡς μακάριος· διεσκόρπισάν σου τὰ πρόβατα, ὅτι σὲ τὸν ποιμένα ὡς Χριστὸν ἐπάταξαν. εἰ καὶ τολμηρὸν εἰπεῖν, ὅμως αὐτοῦ δὲ ἡ φωνή, εἰ ἐμὲ ἐδίωξαν, καὶ ὑμᾶς διώξουσιν, καὶ τἆλλα, ὅσα τοῖς ἀκολουθοῦσιν αὐτῷ φέρει τὴν ταὐτοπάθειαν· εἴπερ γὰρ συμπάσχομεν αὐτῷ, ὥς φησιν ὁ μέγας Παῦλος, ἵνα καὶ συνδοξασθῶμεν. Καὶ οὕτω μὲν ταῦτα. ἐμοὶ δὲ τῷ ἀσώτῳ καὶ ἀναξίῳ διὰ τῶν σῶν ἁγίων εὐχῶν, πάτερ δίκαιε, ἐχαρίσατο ὁ ἐλεήμων κύριος παράκλησιν καὶ τὸ ἐν πνεύματι συνεῖναί σοι· εἰμὶ γὰρ ἀεὶ ὡς ὁρῶν σε καὶ ὡς ὁμιλῶν σοι καὶ ὡς κομιζόμενος τὴν εὐχὴν καὶ ὡς σκεπόμενος καὶ ὡς διδοὺς καὶ λαμβάνων λόγους εἰς ἕδρασμα τῆς ὁμολογίας ἧς ὡμολόγησας. καὶ δοκῶ σου ἐπαϊούσης τῆς φωνῆς ταῦτα ἀκούειν· "4ταπεινὲ Θεόδωρε, μικρὸν ὄντως ταλαιπωροῦμεν, ἐπεὶ καλὴν φέρει ὁ θεὸς τὴν ἐλπίδα"5. ταῦτά μοι παρηγορία, ταῦτα ἀναψυχή. μὴ δείσῃς, πάτερ, δι' ἐμὲ τὸν δοῦλον σου καὶ παντάπασιν ἀπερριμμένον· καὶ γὰρ εἰμὶ τοῦ οὐρανοῦ καὶ τῆς γῆς μίασμα καὶ παντὸς ἀνθρώπου κατεψυγμένος μᾶλλον. πλὴν τολμῶ λέγειν ὡς ἀνάξιος, εὔελπις, ἄνω βλέπων, ῥωννύμενος ὑπὸ τῆς σῆς πρεσβείας, οὐκ ἀπευδοκῶν εἰς ἃ ἔπαθον, ἐπιμεμφόμενος δὲ ἐμαυτὸν ὅτι μὴ ἀνδρείως καὶ κατὰ λόγον καὶ ὅτι ὀλίγα καὶ οὐδενὸς ἄξια ἀφορῶν πρὸς τὰ ζωοποιὰ πάθη τῶν ἁγίων. ἐγένετό μοι γὰρ πολλῶν ἔντευξις μαρτυρίων ἐν δώδεκα δέλτοις ἀπογεγραμμένων, ὥστε παταχθῆναι τὴν καρδίαν καὶ μηδὲ τολμᾶν λέγειν ὅτι ἔπαθόν τι διὰ Χριστόν. καὶ τί γλυκύτερον, πάτερ, ὑπομνήσκω ὡς δοῦλος, τοῦ δι' αὐτὸν πάσχειν; ἄθρει, πάτερ, ἄνω, ὅρα τὸν Κύριον, ἐπόπτευε τὰς ἀγγελοθεΐας, ἐνατένιζε τὰς ἁγιοχορείας· ἴδε ἐπὶ θρόνου ὑψηλοῦ καὶ ἐπηρμένου τὸν κριτὴν τοῦ κόσμου, ὅς σε ἀνακυρήξει πιστὸν δοῦλον καὶ τῶν ἐντολῶν αὐτοῦ τηρητὴν καί, τὸ μεῖζον, ὁμολογητήν. εἶτα, ποῦ σε πέμψοι; οὐκ εἰς πῦρ αἰώνιον, ὅπερ λαμβάνει τοὺς ἀπειθεῖς τοῦ νόμου αὐτοῦ, ἀλλ' εἰς ζωοδόχον χωρίον καὶ ἀθάνατον κατάπαυσιν καὶ ἀπειροαγαλλίατον θεοφροσύνην· εἴσελθε γάρ, φησίν, εἰς τὴν χαρὰν τοῦ κυρίου σου. πάντων ἡμῶν οἱ ὀφθαλμοὶ εἰς σὲ βλέπουσιν, πάντες μεγαλοψυχοῦμεν, σοῦ ἑδρασμένου. εἴη σοι ἐπὶ πλέον ἡ βοήθεια τοῦ θεοῦ ὀχυροῦσά σε, δυναμοῦσά σε, εὐτονοῦσά σε, ἀνδρειοῦσά σε. ὁ τὸν θεὸν φοβούμενος μὴ φοβηθῇς ὃ ἐποίησέν σοι ἄνθρωπος ἢ καὶ ποιήσει τυχόν. πέποιθας ἐπὶ Κύριον, ὄρος εἶ Σιών, οὐ σαλευθήσῃ εἰς τὸν αἰῶνα· κάτοικον γὰρ ἔχεις τὸν τῆς ἄνω Ἱερουσαλὴμ τεχνίτην καὶ δημιουργόν. τὰς ἰοβόλους φωνὰς καὶ ἀπατηλοθελεῖς τῶν ὡς ὄφεων ὑποσυρομένων σοι καὶ θελόντων σε τοῦ ξύλου τοῦ ζωτικοῦ τῆς ἀληθείας ἀπάξαι φεῦγε καὶ ἐνωτίζου ἅπαξ κραταιωθεὶς ἐν τῇ ἀληθείᾳ καὶ διὰ πολλῶν μαρτυριῶν τῆς ἁγίας Γραφῆς συσφιγχθείς, ἔσθ' ὅτε καὶ ἀνθρώπων εὐσεβῶν, εἰς παντελῆ ἀκινησίαν, ὅπως τεύξῃ κἀκείνης τῆς φωνῆς τὸ ἐγκώμιον· ὁ ποιῶν ταῦτα οὐ σαλευθήσεται εἰς τὸν αἰῶνα. Ὑγιαίνουσιν οἱ πάντες ἀδελφοί, ὁ κύριος διάκονος ὁ πατήρ μου, ὁ γλυκύς μου ἀδελφὸς καὶ νῦν μᾶλλον ἀξίως περιπόθητος, οἱ λοιποὶ προσφίλιοι καὶ τίμιοί μου καὶ τέκνα σου, οὓς σὺν ἐμοὶ πάντας, πάτερ, εὔχου. πάντες αὐτῶν εὐδρομοῦσιν, ποθητὸν αὐτοῖς μόνον ἡ σὴ ὑγεία ἐν Κυρίῳ καὶ εὐφόρητον πᾶν ὁτιοῦν παθοῦσιν. πάντως καὶ λυπούμεθα καὶ ἀδημονοῦμεν καὶ ἀσχάλλομεν καὶ ῥαθυμοῦμεν καὶ λογισμῶν πονηρῶν ὀχλήσεις ἔχομεν (καὶ οὐδὲ γὰρ ἔστιν ἐκτὸς θλίψεων παρελθεῖν τῶν τῇδε), ἀλλὰ διὰ τὴν ἐλπίδα καὶ εὐχήν σου ἰσχύομεν. ἐμοὶ δέ, πάτερ, εὔχου, ὅτι τὸν Ἠσαΐαν τὸν ἅγιον ἐκστηθίζω, καὶ δήλωσόν μοι, εἰ παρὰ τὸ γράφειν ἀναγινώσκειν με θέλεις.