Letter 42: Theodore Studite, Letter 42; Greek heading: Ἄννῃ μοναζούσῃ.

I thought that my blessed mother had died, but she is still above the earth, as it seems; for what more would she have done than you yourself, who are borne toward me, the lowly one, with a mother's tender care? But even if I too am a sinner, nevertheless I trust in the Lord that he will repay you, for what you do on behalf of our unworthiness, with no ordinary grace, and with the attainment of the things you long for and ask. Yet what has been done is enough; for this I also pleaded in my earlier letter. You, however, on the contrary, have rather added to it, spending yourself in the giving. And from where could we ever, even now, fail to make mention of your piety [theosebeia, godliness]? From the garments, from the sacred offering [anathema, votive gift], from the food and the drink-from every side you have put us out of our senses. For this reason set an end to your gifts, and be of good hope concerning the divine recompense; for he is no liar who said that he will give rewards even for a cup of cold water. You say that you are grieved amid the cares of your child, which create for you a hindrance from the necessary concern for your soul. Yet God is able both to bring about the right governance of your good child and to establish you, in all things, to enjoy leisure for the things that profit the soul, so that you may stand with a ready heart for the body's departure. As for fasting and afflicting yourself, since you have a sickly body, you cannot; and in this too bear it without grief, offering to the Lord what you are able, and by the increase of humility filling up what is lacking from ascetic practice. You seek to be taught how you ought to pray. This too the Lord himself taught, through the recitation of the "Our Father," and through asking for nothing temporal, but for his kingdom and his eternal righteousness. Yet it has been ordained by the fathers that thanksgiving to God comes first, then the confession of one's sins to him, and so the request for their forgiveness and for the attainment of the other ways that lead to salvation. Therefore, whenever you are about to pray, give thanks to the Lord and Master: that he brought you from non-being into being; that he redeemed you from every error, calling you and counting you worthy to become a partaker of the knowledge of himself-from the error of the gentiles [pagan error], from the error of heresy [hairesis]; then, that he also prepared you to come to be within the monastic and angel-like life, after your enjoyment of the common life [that is, life in the world]. The thought of these things is enough to soften the soul toward compunction and the shedding of tears; from which come the illumination of the heart, the sweetness of the Spirit, the desire for God. When this desire is present in the heart, there is a casting away of all wickedness. When you have thus sent up thanksgivings to God, confess to him, saying: "You know, Master, how much I have sinned against you and how much I sin at every hour"-reckoning up this sin and that fault, both those done in knowledge and those in ignorance, yet not recounting at random the things that, through their vivid remembrance, work harm to the soul. And from this there will rise up for you the grace of humility, together with contrition of heart and fear of God's requital. After this, ask, groan, beseech your Lord for the forgiveness of these things, and for strengthening toward pleasing him in the time to come, saying: "No longer, my Lord, Lord, do I provoke you to anger; no longer will I love anything else beside you, the only truly beloved; and even if I provoke you to anger again, I fall down before your compassions, that strength may be given me to come to be in the habit of pleasing you"-and if anything else good comes to your mind to be accomplished, asking for it fervently. And after these things, call upon the holy Theotokos [Mother of God] to have mercy on you, the holy angels and the angel you have as the guardian of your life, that he may guard and shelter you, the Forerunner [John the Baptist], the apostles, all the saints, and those whom you have especially and customarily to call upon, and the one commemorated on that day. These things, then, seem to me to hold the power of prayer, even if each person prays in other words and not altogether in the same ones; for not even the one praying utters the same words to himself always, but the same power has been reckoned by me as necessary for all. May you be kept, then, praying for what is needful, growing better on every occasion, and presenting your whole self, through an exact manner of life, as pleasing to the Lord.

Ἐδόκουν τετελευτηκέναι τὴν μακαρίαν μου μητέρα, ἐκείνη δὲ ἔτι ὑπὲρ γῆς ἐστιν, ὡς ἔοικεν· τί γὰρ ἔμελλεν ἂν πλέον ποιεῖν, ὡς αὐτὴ πρός με τὸν ταπεινὸν μητρικῇ κηδεμονίᾳ φερομένη; ἀλλ' εἰ κἀγὼ ἁμαρτωλός, ὅμως πιστεύω τῷ Κυρίῳ ἀνταμείψασθαί σε τοῖς ὑπὲρ τῆς ἀναξιότητος ἡμῶν οὐ τὴν τυχοῦσαν χάριν καὶ ἐπίτευξιν ὧν ποθεῖς καὶ αἰτεῖς. πλὴν ἱκανῶς ἔχει τὰ γεγενημένα· τοῦτο γὰρ καὶ διὰ τῶν προλαβόντων γραμμάτων ἀπελογησάμην. αὐτὴ δὲ τοὐναντίον προσέθηκας μᾶλλον τοῦ ἐκδαπανᾶσθαι ἐν τῇ ἐπιδόσει. πόθεν δὲ καὶ οὐ μέλλομεν ἄρτι μνημονεύειν σου τῆς θεοσεβείας; ἐκ τῶν περιβολαίων, ἐκ τοῦ ἱεροῦ ἀναθήματος, ἐκ τῆς βρώσεώς τε καὶ πόσεως, πανταχόθεν ἡμᾶς ἐξέστησας. διὰ τοῦτο καὶ τέλος ἐπίθες τοῖς δώροις καὶ εὔελπις ἔσο περὶ τῆς θείας ἀμείψεως· ἀψευδὴς γὰρ ὁ εἰρηκὼς καὶ ὑπὲρ ψυχροῦ ποτηρίου μισθοὺς ἀποδιδόναι. Λυπεῖσθαι δὲ φαίης ἐν τῇ φροντίδι τοῦ τέκνου, ἀπασχολίαν ἐμποιούσῃ σοι τῆς δεούσης περὶ τὴν ψυχὴν μερίμνης. καὶ δυνατὸς ὁ θεὸς καὶ τὴν τοῦ καλοῦ τέκνου διοίκησιν ἀπεργάσασθαι καὶ σὲ ἐπὶ πᾶσιν σχολὴν ἄγειν περὶ τῶν ψυχωφελῶν καταστήσασθαι, ὡς ἑτοίμῃ καρδίᾳ πρὸς τὴν ἔξοδον τοῦ σώματος παρίστασθαι. νηστεύειν δὲ καὶ ταλαιπωρεῖσθαι, σῶμα ἔχουσα νοσερόν, οὐ δύνῃ, κἀν τούτῳ ἀλύπως φέρε, τὰ δυνατὰ εἰσοίσουσα τῷ Κυρίῳ καὶ τῷ πλεονασμῷ τῆς ταπεινοφροσύνης τὸ ἐκ τῆς ἀσκήσεως ἐνδέον ἀναπληροῦσα. Προσεύχεσθαι δὲ ὅπως σε χρή, ἐπιζητεῖς ἐκδιδαχθῆναι. καὶ τοῦτο αὐτὸς ὁ Κύριος ἐξεδίδαξεν διὰ τῆς τοῦ πάτερ ἡμῶν ἐπιφωνήσεως καὶ τοῦ μηδὲν αἰτεῖν πρόσκαιρον, ἀλλὰ τὴν βασιλείαν αὐτοῦ καὶ τὴν δικαιοσύνην τὴν αἰώνιον. πλὴν ὅτι τετύπωται ὑπὸ τῶν πατέρων πρῶτον ἡ εἰς θεὸν εὐχαριστία, ἔπειτα ἡ τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων πρὸς αὐτὸν ἐξαγόρευσις, καὶ οὕτω ἡ αἴτησις τῆς αὐτῶν ἀφέσεως καὶ τῆς τῶν ἄλλων σωτηριωδῶν τρόπων ἐπιτεύξεως. Ἐπὰν οὖν μέλλῃς προσεύχεσθαι, εὐχαρίστει τῷ Κυρίῳ καὶ δεσπότῃ, ὅτι ἐκ τοῦ μὴ ὄντος εἰς τὸ εἶναι παρήγαγέν σε, ὅτι ἐλυτρώσατό σε ἐκ πάσης πλάνης, καλέσας καὶ ἀξιώσας τῆς ἑαυτοῦ ἐπιγνώσεως μέτοχον γενέσθαι, πλάνης ἐθνικῆς, πλάνης αἱρετικῆς, εἶτα ὅτι καὶ τοῦ μοναδικοῦ καὶ ἰσαγγέλου βίου ἐντός σε παρεσκεύασεν ὑπάρξαι μετὰ τὴν τοῦ κοινωνικοῦ βίου ἀπόλαυσιν, ὧν ἡ ἔννοια ἱκανὴ καταμαλάξαι τὴν ψυχὴν πρὸς κατάνυξιν καὶ δακρύων προβολήν· ἀφ' ὧν φωτισμὸς καρδίας, γλυκύτης πνεύματος, ἐπιθυμία θεοῦ. ταύτης ἐνυπαρχούσης τῇ καρδίᾳ πάσης κακίας ἐστὶν ἀποβολή. ὅταν οὕτως εὐχαριστίας ἀναπέμψῃς τῷ θεῷ, ἐξαγόρευε αὐτῷ λέγουσα, "4σὺ οἶδας, δέσποτα, ὅσα σοι ἥμαρτον καὶ ὅσα ἁμαρτάνω καθ' ἑκάστην ὥραν"5, τήνδε τὴν ἁμαρτίαν καὶ τήνδε τὴν πλημμέλειαν καὶ τὰ ἐν γνώσει καὶ ἀγνοίᾳ ἀναλογιζομένη, πλὴν μὴ ἀνιστοροῦσα ὡς ἔτυχεν τὰ βλάβην ἐκ τῆς ἐναργοῦς ὑπομνήσεως ἐμποιοῦντα τῇ ψυχῇ. κἀντεῦθεν ἀνατελεῖ σοι ταπεινοφροσύνης χάρις μετὰ συντριμμοῦ καρδίας καὶ φόβου ἀνταποδόσεως θεοῦ. μετὰ τοῦτο αἴτησον, στέναξον, δεήθητι τοῦ Κυρίου σου τὴν τούτων ἄφεσιν, τὴν πρὸς τὸ μέλλον πρὸς τὸ εὐαρεστεῖν αὐτῷ ἐνδυνάμωσιν, λέγουσα, "4οὐκέτι, Κύριέ μου, Κύριε, παροργίζω σε, οὐκέτι φιλήσω ἄλλο τι παρὰ σὲ τὸν ὄντως ἀγαπητόν, κἄν τε παροργίσω πάλιν προσπίπτουσά εἰμι τοῖς οἰκτιρμοῖς σου, δοθῆναί μοι ἰσχὺν ἐν ἕξει γενέσθαι τοῦ εὐαρεστεῖν σοι"5, εἴ τι ἄλλο κατὰ νοῦν σοι παρίσταται ἀνυσθῆναι ἀγαθὸν θερμῶς αἰτουμένη. καὶ μετὰ ταῦτα ἐπικαλοῦ τὴν ἁγίαν Θεοτόκον ἐλεῆσαί σε, τοὺς ἁγίους ἀγγέλους καὶ ὃν ἔχεις τῆς ζωῆς σου φύλακα ἄγγελον ἵνα σε φρουρῇ καὶ σκέπῃ, τὸν Πρόδρομον, τοὺς ἀποστόλους, τοὺς ἁγίους πάντας καὶ οὓς ἔχεις ἐξαιρέτως συνήθως ἐπικαλεῖσθαι, καὶ τὸν κατὰ τὴν ἡμέραν μνημονευόμενον. Ταῦτα οὖν μοι δοκεῖ ἔχειν τῆς προσευχῆς τὴν δύναμιν, κἂν ἕκαστος ἄλλοις λόγοις καὶ οὐχὶ τοῖς αὐτοῖς πάντως προσεύχηται· ὅτι μηδὲ αὐτὸς ἑαυτῷ ὁ προσευχόμενος τὰ αὐτὰ φθέγγεται πάντοτε, ἡ δὲ δύναμις ἡ αὐτὴ ἀναγκαία πᾶσι λελόγισταί μοι. φυλαχθείης οὖν προσευχομένη τὰ δέοντα καὶ βελτιουμένη ἑκάστοτε καὶ ὅλην ἑαυτὴν παριστῶσα διὰ τῆς ἀκριβοῦς βιώσεως ἀρέσκουσαν τῷ Κυρίῳ.