Letter 27: 1. O excellent man and excellent brother, there was a time when you were unknown to my mind; and I charge my mind to bear patiently your being still unknown to my eyes, but it almost — nay, altogether — refuses to obey. Does it indeed bear this patiently?

To my lord, holy and venerable, worthy of the highest praise in Christ — my brother Paulinus — Augustine sends greetings in the Lord. 1. Exceptional man, exceptional brother: there was a time when you were unknown to my mind. I have charged my mind to bear patiently the fact that you are still unknown to my eyes — but it almost, no, entirely, refuses to obey. Is it bearing it patiently? Then why does the longing for your presence rack my inmost soul? If I were enduring physical pain without it disturbing my peace of mind, I could rightly claim patience. But since I cannot bear with equanimity the privation of not seeing you — and you are who you are — it would be strange, not admirable, if I felt nothing at all. What has happened to me is strange but true: I grieve because I have not seen you, and the grief itself comforts me. I neither admire nor envy a composure that feels no pain at the absence of good people. Do we not long for the heavenly Jerusalem? And the more impatiently we long for it, do we not the more patiently endure everything else for its sake? Who can restrain their joy at seeing you enough to feel no grief when you are gone? I cannot — and since feeling otherwise would mean trampling on right and natural affection, I am glad I cannot. The contemplation of this longing is itself a kind of consolation. Do not blame me, I beg — with that devout seriousness that so distinguishes you — for grieving that I have not yet met you in person, when you have already shown me your mind, which is yourself. If I had once met you in the ordinary way — as a brother, a friend, a great Christian and a noble man — would you really think it no disappointment if I were then not allowed to see your home? How much more must I feel the loss of not having seen your face — the dwelling-place of the mind I have come to know as though it were my own? 2. I have read your letter — flowing with milk and honey, displaying the simplicity of heart with which, guided by devotion, you seek the Lord, and bringing glory to him. The brothers have read it too, and they find in it the rich, indescribable gifts God has given you. Everyone who reads it carries it away — because as they read, it carries them away. How powerfully that letter awakens the desire to know you more fully, by bringing you before our eyes. It both allows us to sense your presence and makes us impatient with your absence. The more effectively it gives us a feel of who you are, the more it makes us long to be with you. Everyone who reads it loves the person they find there, and wants to be loved by him in return. In your letter, Christ is awakened to calm the winds and waves. In it, the reader sees a wife who does not weaken her husband but through their union is drawn into the full strength of his faith — and to her, in you, as completely one with you and bound by spiritual ties whose strength lies in their purity, we send greetings with all the respect due to your holiness. 3. What thanks it renders to God! What blessings it draws from him! These and many other beautiful things appear before the reader — a letter that displays true faith, sure hope, and pure love. How it conveys your thirst and longing for the courts of the Lord! What holy love inspires it! How it overflows with the genuine treasure of an honest heart! Wonderful man — I am moved to wonder whether you are more beautiful where you are now than you will be when we meet face to face. Each increase of our knowledge of you becomes the seed of still more longing. When, great man, shall I be made happy by seeing you? When shall I be able, not only to read your words but to drink in their living tone, to observe the workings of a mind I admire, and to make them my own by a richer intercourse than writing allows? Come to us — or let us come to you — or let us at least meet somewhere between your Italy and our Africa, where we can embrace not through ink and papyrus but in the flesh. In the meantime, write to me. Read me. Correct me. Love me as I love you — and I say that knowing it is more than I can repay.

Letter 27 (A.D. 395) To My Lord, Holy and Venerable, and Worthy of Highest Praise in Christ, My Brother Paulinus, Augustine Sends Greeting in the Lord. 1. O excellent man and excellent brother, there was a time when you were unknown to my mind; and I charge my mind to bear patiently your being still unknown to my eyes, but it almost — nay, altogether — refuses to obey. Does it indeed bear this patiently? If so, why then does a longing for your presence rack my inmost soul? For if I were suffering bodily infirmities, and these did not interrupt the serenity of my mind, I might be justly said to bear them patiently; but when I cannot bear with equanimity the privation of not seeing you, it would be intolerable were I to call my state of mind patience. Nevertheless, it would perhaps be still more intolerable if I were to be found patient while absent from you, seeing that you are such an one as you are. It is well, therefore, that I am unsatisfied under a privation which is such that, if I were satisfied under it, every one would justly be dissatisfied with me. What has befallen me is strange, yet true: I grieve because I do not see you, and my grief itself comforts me; for I neither admire nor covet a fortitude easily consoled under the absence of good men such as you are. For do we not long for the heavenly Jerusalem? And the more impatiently we long for it, do we not the more patiently submit to all things for its sake? Who can so withhold himself from joy in seeing you, as to feel no pain when you are no longer seen? I at least can do neither; and seeing that if I could, it could only be by trampling on right and natural feeling, I rejoice that I cannot, and in this rejoicing I find some consolation. It is therefore not the removal, but the contemplation, of this sorrow that consoles me. Blame me not, I beseech you, with that devout seriousness of spirit which so eminently distinguishes you; say not that I do wrong to grieve because of my not yet knowing you, when you have disclosed to my sight your mind, which is the inner man. For if, when sojourning in any place, or in the city to which you belong, I had come to know you as my brother and friend, and as one so eminent as a Christian, so noble as a man, how could you think that it would be no disappointment to me if I were not permitted to know your dwelling? How, then, can I but mourn because I have not yet seen your face and form, the dwelling-place of that mind which I have come to know as if it were my own? 2. For I have read your letter, which flows with milk and honey, which exhibits the simplicity of heart wherewith, under the guidance of piety, you seek the Lord, and which brings glory and honour to Him. The brethren have read it also, and find unwearied and ineffable satisfaction in those abundant and excellent gifts with which God has endowed you. As many as have read it carry it away with them, because, while they read, it carries them away. Words cannot express how sweet is the savour of Christ which your letter breathes. How strong is the wish to be more fully acquainted with you which that letter awakens by presenting you to our sight! For it at once permits us to discern and prompts us to desire you. For the more effectually that it makes us in a certain sense realize your presence, the more does it render us impatient under your absence. All love you as seen therein, and wish to be loved by you. Praise and thanksgiving are offered to God, by whose grace you are what you are. In your letter, Christ is awakened that He may be pleased to calm the winds and the waves for you, directing your steps towards His perfect steadfastness. In it the reader beholds a wife who does not bring her husband to effeminacy, but by union to him is brought herself to share the strength of his nature; and unto her in you, as completely one with you, and bound to you by spiritual ties which owe their strength to their purity, we desire to return our salutations with the respect due to your Holiness. In it, the cedars of Lebanon, levelled to the ground, and fashioned by the skilful craft of love into the form of the Ark, cleave the waves of this world, fearless of decay. In it, glory is scorned that it may be secured, and the world given up that it may be gained. In it, the little ones, yea, the mightier sons of Babylon, the sins of turbulence and pride, are dashed against the rock. 3. These and other such most delightful and hallowed spectacles are presented to the readers of your letter — that letter which exhibits a true faith, a good hope, a pure love. How it breathes to us your thirst, your longing and fainting for the courts of the Lord! With what holy love it is inspired! How it overflows with the abundant treasure of a true heart! What thanksgivings it renders to God! What blessings it procures from Him! Is it elegance or fervour, light or life-giving power, which shines most in your letter? For how can it at once soothe us and animate us? How can it combine fertilizing rains with the brightness of a cloudless sky? How is this? I ask; or how shall I repay you, except by giving myself to be wholly yours in Him whose you wholly are? If this be little, it is at least all I have to give. But you have made me think it not little, by your deigning to honour me in that letter with such praises, that when I requite you by giving myself to you, I would be chargeable if I counted the gift a small one, with refusing to believe your testimony. I am ashamed, indeed, to believe so much good spoken of myself, but I am yet more unwilling to refuse to believe you. I have one way of escape from the dilemma: I shall not credit your estimate of my character, because I do not recognise myself in the portrait you have drawn; but I shall believe myself to be beloved by you, because I perceive and feel this beyond all doubt. Thus I shall be found neither rash in judging of myself, nor ungrateful for your esteem. Moreover, when I offer myself to you, it is not a small offering; for I offer one whom you very warmly love, and one who, though he is not what you suppose him to be, is nevertheless one for whom you are praying that he may become such. And your prayers I now beg the more earnestly, lest, thinking me to be already what I am not, you should be less solicitous for the supply of that which I lack. 4. The bearer of this letter to your Excellency and most eminent Charity is one of my dearest friends, and most intimately known to me from early years. His name is mentioned in the treatise De Religione, which your Holiness, as you indicate in your letter, has read with very great pleasure, doubtless because it was made more acceptable to you by the recommendation of so good a man as he who sent it to you. I would not wish you, however, to give credence to the statements which, perchance, one who is so intimately my friend may have made in praise of me. For I have often observed, that, without intending to say what was untrue, he was, by the bias of friendship, mistaken in his opinion concerning me, and that he thought me to be already possessed of many things, for the gift of which my heart earnestly waited on the Lord. And if he did such things in my presence, who may not conjecture that out of the fullness of his heart he may utter many things more excellent than true concerning me when absent? He will submit to your esteemed attention, and review all my treatises; for I am not aware of having written anything, either addressed to those who are beyond the pale of the Church, or to the brethren, which is not in his possession. But when you are reading these, my holy Paulinus, let not those things which Truth has spoken by my weak instrumentality, so carry you away as to prevent your carefully observing what I myself have spoken, lest, while you drink in with eagerness the things good and true which have been given to me as a servant, you should forget to pray for the pardon of my errors and mistakes. For in all that shall, if observed, justly displease you, I myself am seen; but in all which in my books is justly approved by you, through the gift of the Holy Spirit bestowed on you, He is to be loved, He is to be praised, with whom is the fountain of life, and in whose light we shall see light, not darkly as we do here, but face to face. 1 Corinthians 13:12 When, in reading over my writings, I discover in them anything which is due to the working of the old leaven in me, I blame myself for it with true sorrow; but if anything which I have spoken is, by God's gift, from the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth, I rejoice therein with trembling. For what have we that we have not received? Yet it may be said, his portion is better whom God has endowed with larger and more numerous gifts, than his on whom smaller and fewer have been conferred. True; but, on the other hand, it is better to have a small gift, and to render to Him due thanks for it, than, having a large gift, to wish to claim the merit of it as our own. Pray for me, my brother, that I may make such acknowledgments sincerely, and that my heart may not be at variance with my tongue. Pray, I beseech you, that, not coveting praise to myself, but rendering praise to the Lord, I may worship Him; and I shall be safe from mine enemies. 5. There is yet another thing which may move you to love more warmly the brother who bears my letter; for he is a kinsman of the venerable and truly blessed bishop Alypius, whom you love with your whole heart, and justly: for whoever thinks highly of that man, thinks highly of the great mercy and wonderful gifts which God has bestowed on him. Accordingly, when he had read your request, desiring him to write for you a sketch of his history, and, while willing to do it because of your kindness, was yet unwilling to do it because of his humility, I, seeing him unable to decide between the respective claims of love and humility, transferred the burden from his shoulders to my own, for he enjoined me by letter to do so. I shall therefore, with God's help, soon place in your heart Alypius just as he is: for this I chiefly feared, that he would be afraid to declare all that God has conferred on him, lest (since what he writes would be read by others besides you) he should seem to any who are less competent to discriminate to be commending not God's goodness bestowed on men, but his own merits; and that thus you, who know what construction to put on such statements, would, through his regard for the infirmity of others, be deprived of that which to you as a brother ought to be imparted. This I would have done already, and you would already be reading my description of him, had not my brother suddenly resolved to set out earlier than we expected. For him I bespeak a welcome from your heart and from your lips as kindly as if your acquaintance with him was not beginning now, but of as long standing as my own. For if he does not shrink from laying himself open to your heart, he will be in great measure, if not completely, healed by your lips; for I desire him to be often made to hear the words of those who cherish for their friends a higher love than that which is of this world. 6. Even if Romanianus had not been going to visit your Charity, I had resolved to recommend to you by letter his son [Licentius], dear to me as my own (whose name you will find also in some of my books), in order that he may be encouraged, exhorted, and instructed, not so much by the sound of your voice, as by the example of your spiritual strength. I desire earnestly, that while his life is yet in the green blade, the tares may be turned into wheat, and he may believe those who know by experience the dangers to which he is eager to expose himself. From the poem of my young friend, and my letter to him, your most benevolent and considerate wisdom may perceive my grief, fear, and care on his account. I am not without hope that, by the Lord's favour, I may through your means be set free from such disquietude regarding him. As you are now about to read much that I have written, your love will be much more gratefully esteemed by me, if, moved by compassion, and judging impartially, you correct and reprove whatever displeases you. For you are not one whose oil anointing my head would make me afraid. The brethren, not those only who dwell with us, and those who, dwelling elsewhere, serve God in the same way as we do, but almost all who are in Christ our warm friends, send you salutations, along with the expression of their veneration and affectionate longing for you as a brother, as a saint, and as a man. I dare not ask; but if you have any leisure from ecclesiastical duties, you may see for what favour all Africa, with myself, is thirsting.

EPISTOLA 27 Scripta anno 394. A. Paulino respondet amplectens illius benevolentiam mutuum declarans amorem studiumque illius videndi (n. 1-3) nonnulla praeterea attingens de Romaniano atque Alypio episcopo (quem illi magis innotescere vult) necnon de Licentio, Romaniani filio, cuius aetati metuebat, ne vergeret ad ea quae sunt mundi, neglecta sapientia (n. 4-6).   Domino vere sancto et venerabili, et eximia in Christo laude praedicando, fratri Paulino, Augustinus, in Domino salutem Pro benevolentia Paulino gratias agit cupidus eum videndi. 1. O bone vir et bone frater, latebas animam meam: et ei dico ut toleret quod adhuc lates oculos meos, et vix mihi obtemperat; imo non obtemperat. An vero tolerat? Cum ergo me excruciat desiderium tui apud ipsam intus animam? Nam si molestias corporis paterer, et si non perturbarent aequitatem animi mei, recte illas tolerare dicerer; cum autem non aequo animo fero quod te non video, intolerabile est istam appellare tolerantiam. Sed quando tu talis es, esse sine te fortasse intolerabilius toleraretur. Bene est ergo, quia aequo animo ferre non possum, quod si aequo animo ferrem, aequo animo ferendus non essem. Mirum est, sed tamen verum, quod mihi accidit: doleo quod te non video, et me ipse consolatur dolor. Ita mihi displicet fortitudo qua patienter fertur absentia bonorum, sicuti es. Nam et Ierusalem futuram desideramus utique, et quanto impatientius desideramus ipsam, tanto patientius sustinemus omnia propter ipsam. Quis igitur potest non gaudere te viso, ut possit quandiu te non videt, non dolere! Ergo neutrum possum, et quoniam si possem, immaniter possem, non posse delector, atque in eo quod delector nonnullum solatium est. Dolentem itaque me non sedatus, sed consideratus consolatur dolor. Ne reprehendas, quaeso, sanctiore gravitate qua praevales, et dicas non recte me dolere, quod adhuc te non noverim, cum animum mihi tuum, hoc est teipsum interiorem aspiciendum patefeceris. Quid enim? Si uspiam te vel in terrena tua civitate didicissem fratrem et dilectorem meum, et tantum in Domino ac talem virum, nullumne me dolorem sensurum fuisse arbitrareris, si non sinerer nosse domum tuam? Quomodo ergo non doleam, quod nondum faciem tuam novi, hoc est domum animae tuae, quam sicut meam novi? Quam sanctus ex eius epistola appareat Paulinus. 2. Legi enim litteras tuas fluentes lac et mel 1, praeferentes simplicitatem cordis tui, in qua quaeris Dominum sentiens de illo in bonitate 2, et afferentes ei claritatem et honorem 3. Legerunt fratres, et gaudent infatigabiliter et ineffabiliter, tam uberibus et tam excellentibus donis Dei, bonis tuis. Quotquot eas legerunt, rapiunt, quia rapiuntur cum legunt. Quam suavis odor Christi 4, et quam fragrat ex eis, dici non potest. Illae litterae cum te offerunt ut videaris, quantum nos excitant ut quaeraris! Nam et perspicabilem faciunt et desiderabilem. Quanto enim praesentiam tuam nobis quodammodo exhibent, tanto absentiam nos ferre non sinunt. Amant te omnes in eis, et amari abs te cupiunt. Laudatur et benedicitur Deus, cuius gratia tu talis es. Ibi excitatur Christus, ut ventos et maria tibi placare dignetur 5 tendenti ad stabilitatem suam. Videtur a legentibus ibi coniux, non dux ad mollitiem viro suo, sed ad fortitudinem redux in ossa viri sui, quam in tuam unitatem redactam et redditam, et spiritalibus tibi tanto firmioribus, quanto castioribus nexibus copulatam, officiis vestrae Sanctitati debitis, in te uno resalutamus. Ibi cedri Libani 6ad terram depositae, et in arcae fabricam compagine caritatis erectae, mundi huius fluctus imputribiliter secant. Ibi gloria ut acquiratur, contemnitur, et mundus ut obtineatur, relinquitur. Ibi parvuli, sive etiam grandiusculi filii Babylonis eliduntur ad petram 7, vitia scilicet confusionis superbiaeque secularis. Quam sincere A. miretur Paulini virtutes. 3. Haec atque huiusmodi suavissima et sacratissima spectacula litterae tuae praebent legentibus; litterae illae, litterae fidei non fictae, litterae spei bonae, litterae purae caritatis. Quomodo nobis anhelant sitim tuam, et desiderium defectumque animae tuae in atria Domini 8! quid amoris sanctissimi spiranti quantam opulentiam sinceri cordis exaestuant! quas agunt gratias Deo! quas impetrant a Deo! Blandiores sunt, an ardentiores; luminosiores, an fecundiores? Quid enim est, quod ita nos mulcent, ita accendunt, ita compluunt et ita serenae sunt? quid est, quaeso te, aut quid tibi pro eis rependam, nisi quia totus sum tuus in eo cuius totus es? Si parum est, plus certe non habeo. Tu autem fecisti ut non mihi parum videatur, qui me in illa epistola tantis laudibus honorare dignatus es, ut cum tibi me refundo, si parum hoc putem, tibi non credidisse convincar. Pudet me quidem tantum boni de me credere, sed plus piget tibi non credere. Est quod faciam: non me credam talem qualem putas, quoniam non agnosco; et credam me abs te diligi, quoniam sentio et plane percipio: ita nec in me temerarius, nec in te ingratus extitero. Et cum me tibi totum offero, parum non est: offero enim quem vehementissime diligis; et offero, si non qualem me esse arbitraria, eum tamen pro quo, ut talis esse merear deprecaris. Hoc enim magis iam peto facias, ne minus optes mihi adiici ad id quod sum, dum me existimas iam esse quod non sum. Quo animo Augustini scripta legenda. 4. Ecce carissimus meus est, et ab ineunte adolescente mihi familiariter amicissimus qui hanc Eximietati tuae ac praestantissimae Caritati epistolam apportat. Huius nomen est in libro de Religione, quem tua Sanctitas, quantum litteris indicas, libentissime legit: factus est enim tibi etiam tanti viri, qui tibi cum misit, commendatione iucundior. Neque tamen huic tam familiari amico meo velim credas, quae de me forte laudans dixerit. Sensi enim etiam ipsum saepe non mentiendi studio, sed amandi propensione falli iudicantem, et arbitrari iam me accepisse quaedam, quibus accipiendis a Domino patente ore cordis inhiarem. Et si hoc in os meum, quis non coniiciat quanta de me absente meliora quam veriora laetus effundat? Librorum autem nostrorum copiam faciet venerabili studio tuo: nam nescio me aliquid, sive ad eorum qui extra Ecclesiam Dei sunt, sive ad aures fratrum scripsisse, quod ipse non habeat. Sed tu cum legis, mi sancte Pauline, non te ita rapiant quae per nostram infirmitatem veritas loquitur, ut ea quae ipse loquor minus diligenter advertas; ne dum avidus hauris bona et recta quae data ministro, non ores pro peccatis et erratis quae ipse committo. In his enim quae tibi recte, si adverteris, displicebunt, ego ipse conspicior; in his autem quae per donum Spiritus quod accepisti, recte tibi placent in libris meis, ille amandus, ille praedicandus est apud quem est fons vitae, et in cuius lumine videbimus lumen 9, sine aenigmate, sed facie ad faciem, nunc autem in aenigmate videmus 10. In his ergo quae ipse de veteri fermento eructavi, cum ea legens agnosco, me iudico cum dolore; in his vero quae de azymo sinceritatis et veritatis 11 dono Dei dixi exsulto cum tremore. Quid enim habemus, quod non accepimus 12? At enim melior est qui maioribus et pluribus, quam qui minoribus et paucioribus donis Dei dives est. Quis negat? sed rursus melius est, vel de parvo Dei dono gratias ipsi agere, quam sibi agi velle de magno. Haec ut ex animo semper confitear, meumque cor a lingua mea non dissonet, ora pro me, frater. Ora, obsecro, ut non laudari volens, sed laudans invocem Dominum, et ab inimicis meis salvus ero 13. Commendatur epistolae lator, Alypio episcopo propinquus. 5. Est etiam aliud quo istum fratrem amplius diligas: nam est cognatus venerabilis, et vere beati episcopi Alypii, quem toto pectore amplecteris, et merito; nam quisquis de illo viro benigne cogitat, de magna Dei misericordia, et de mirabilibus Dei muneribus cogitat. Itaque cum legisset petitionem tuam, qua desiderare te indicasti ut historiam suam tibi scribat, et volebat facere propter benevolentiam tuam, et nolebat propter verecundiam suam: quem cum viderem inter amorem pudoremque fluctuantem, onus ab illo in humeros meos transtuli; nam hoc mihi etiam per epistolam iussit. Cito ergo, si Dominus adiuverit, totum Alypium inseram praecordiis tuis; nam hoc sum ego maxime veritus, ne ille vereretur aperire omnia quae in eum Dominus contulit, ne alicui minus intellegenti (non enim abs te solo illa legerentur), non divina munera concessa hominibus, sed seipsum praedicare videretur, et tu qui nosti quomodo haec legas, propter aliorum cavendam infirmitatem fraternae notitiae debito fraudareris: quod iam fecissem, iamque illum legeres, nisi profectio fratris improvisa repente placuisset. Quem sic commendo cordi et linguae tuae, ut ita comiter ei te praebeas, quasi non nunc illum, sed mecum ante didiceris. Si enim cordi tuo non dubitaverit aperire seipsum, aut ex omni, aut ex magna parte sanabitur per linguam tuam. Volo enim eum numerosius contundi eorum vocibus, qui amicum non seculariter diligunt. A. timet Licentii moribus. 6. Filium autem eius, filium nostrum, cuius etiam nomen in aliquibus nostris libris invenies, etsi ad tuae caritatis praesentiam ipse non pergeret, statueram litteris in manum tuam tradere consolandum, exhortandum, instruendum, non tam oris sono, quam exemplo roboris tui. Ardeo quippe, ut dum adhuc aetas eius in viridi feno est, zizania convertat in frugem, et credat expertis quod experiri periculose desiderat. Nunc ergo ex eius carmine, et ex epistola quam ad eum misi, intellegit benevolentissima et mansuetissima prudentia tua, quid de illo doleam, quid timeam, quid cupiam. Nec despero affuturum Dominum, ut per te ministrum eius tantis curarum aestibus liberer. Sane quia multa scripta nostra lecturus es, multo erit mihi gratior dilectio tua, si ex his quae tibi displicuerint, emendaveris me iustus in misericordia 14, et argueris me. Non enim talis es, cuius oleo timeam impinguari caput meum. Fratres non solum qui nobiscum habitant, et qui ubilibet habitantes Deo pariter serviunt, sed prope omnes qui nos in Christo libenter noverunt, salutant, venerantur, desiderant Germanitatem, Beatitudinem, Humanitatem tuam. Non audeo petere; sed si tibi ab ecclesiasticis muneribus vacat, vides quid mecum sitiat Africa.