To my Uncle Julian.
It is the third hour of the night. I have no secretary available — they are all busy — so I am writing this to you myself, with some difficulty. I am alive, by the grace of the gods, and have been freed from the necessity of either suffering or inflicting something irreparable [the death of Emperor Constantius II from natural causes had resolved the civil war before any battle].
But the Sun — whom of all the gods I besought most urgently — and sovereign Zeus bear me witness: I never for a moment wished to kill Constantius. Quite the opposite. Then why did I march? Because the gods explicitly commanded me and promised safety if I obeyed — but if I stayed, consequences I pray no god ever inflicts on me. Furthermore, having been declared a public enemy, I intended only to frighten him, hoping our quarrel would end in a settlement on friendlier terms. And if it had come to battle, I meant to leave the outcome entirely to Fortune and the gods, and to accept whatever their mercy decided.
To his Uncle Julian 2[361, Late Nov. or Dec. from
Naissa]
The third hour of the night has just begun, and as I have no secretary to dictate to because they are all occupied, I have with difficulty made the effort to write this to you myself. I am alive, by the grace of the gods, and have been freed from the necessity of either suffering or inflicting irreparable ill.3 But the Sun, whom of all the gods I besought
most earnestly to assist me, and sovereign Zeus also, bear me witness that never for a moment did I wish to slay
Constantius, but rather I wished the contrary. Why then did I come? Because the gods expressly ordered me,4 and promised me safety if I obeyed them, but if I stayed, what I pray no god may do to me! Furthermore I came because, having been
declared a public enemy, I meant to frighten him merely, and that our quarrel should result in intercourse on more friendly terms; but if we should have to decide the issue by battle, I meant to entrust the whole to Fortune and to the gods, and so await whatever their clemency might decide.
2 For Count Julian, see Introduction.
3 A proverbial phrase; cf. Letter to Nilus, p. 159. The sudden death of Constantius had simplified Julian's course.
4 Cf. Vol. 3, Letter to the Athenians 284b-285d, for Julian's own account of the mutiny against Constantius and the sign given by the gods.
◆
To my Uncle Julian.
It is the third hour of the night. I have no secretary available — they are all busy — so I am writing this to you myself, with some difficulty. I am alive, by the grace of the gods, and have been freed from the necessity of either suffering or inflicting something irreparable [the death of Emperor Constantius II from natural causes had resolved the civil war before any battle].
But the Sun — whom of all the gods I besought most urgently — and sovereign Zeus bear me witness: I never for a moment wished to kill Constantius. Quite the opposite. Then why did I march? Because the gods explicitly commanded me and promised safety if I obeyed — but if I stayed, consequences I pray no god ever inflicts on me. Furthermore, having been declared a public enemy, I intended only to frighten him, hoping our quarrel would end in a settlement on friendlier terms. And if it had come to battle, I meant to leave the outcome entirely to Fortune and the gods, and to accept whatever their mercy decided.
Modern English rendering for readability. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek for scholarly use.