Letter 8: Everything crowds into my mind at once and chokes my speech — one thought refuses to let another go first.

To Maximus the philosopher. Everything crowds into my mind at once and chokes my speech — one thought refuses to let another go first. Call it a psychic disturbance or whatever you like. But let me put things in order, starting with thanks to the all-merciful gods, who have now allowed me to write and may yet permit us to see each other. The moment I was made Emperor — against my will, as the gods know, and as I made obvious in every way I could — I led the army against the barbarians [on the Rhine frontier]. That campaign lasted three months. When I returned to Gaul, I kept watching and asking everyone who came from the East whether any philosopher had arrived, whether wearing a philosopher's cloak or a soldier's tunic. Then I approached Besancon [Besontio, capital of the Sequani]. It is a small town, recently restored, but once a great city with fine temples and strong walls, further protected by nature — the river Doubs encircles it like a cliff rising from the sea, nearly inaccessible except where the current deposits little beaches at its base. Near this city a man came out to meet me who looked like a Cynic — long cloak, staff. When I first spotted him in the distance, I was sure it was you. As I got closer I still thought he must have come from you. He was a friend of mine, as it turned out, but he fell short of what I had hoped. So that was one empty dream. Later I convinced myself that since you were busy with my affairs, I would surely find you somewhere in Greece. Zeus be my witness — [The letter continues with Julian describing his desperate longing to find Maximus and his growing anxiety as he marched east against Constantius, ending with an invitation to come to him at last.]

To Maximus, the philosopher 2 [361, November. From Naissa (Nish)] Everything crowds into my mind at once and chokes my utterance, as one thought refuses to let another precede it, whether you please to class such symptoms among psychic troubles, or to give them some other name. But let me arrange what I have to tell in chronological order, though not till I have first offered thanks to the all-merciful gods, who at this present have permitted me to write, and will also perhaps permit us to see one another. Directly after I had been made Emperor—against my will, as the gods know; and this I made evident then and there in every way possible,—I led the army against the barbarians.3 That expedition lasted for three months, and when I returned to the shores of Gaul, I was ever on the watch and kept enquiring from all who came from that quarter whether any philosopher or any scholar wearing a philosopher's cloak or a soldier's tunic had arrived there. Then I approached Besontio.1 It is a little town that has lately been restored, but in ancient times it was a large city adorned with costly temples, and was fortified by a strong wall and further by the nature of the place; for it is encircled by the river Doubis.2 It rises up like a rocky cliff in the sea, inaccessible, I might almost say, to the very birds, except in those places where the river as it flows round it throws out what one may call beaches, that lie in front of it. Near this city there came to meet me a certain man who looked like a Cynic with his long cloak and staff. When I first caught sight of him in the distance, I imagined that he was none other than yourself. And when I came nearer to him I thought that he had surely come from you. The man was in fact a friend of mine though he fell short of what I hoped and expected. This then was one vain dream I had! And afterwards I thought that, because you were busied with my affairs, I should certainly find you nowhere outside of Greece. Zeus be my witness and great Helios, mighty Athene and all the gods and goddesses, how on my way down to Illyricum from Gaul3 I trembled for your safety! Also I kept enquiring of the gods—not that I ventured to do this myself, for I could not endure to see or hear anything so terrible as one might have supposed would be happening to you at that time, but I entrusted the task to others; and the gods did indeed show clearly that certain troubles would befall you, nothing terrible however, nor to indicate that impious counsels would be carried out.1 But you see that I have passed over many important events. Above all, it is right that you should learn how I became all at once conscious of the very presence of the gods, and in what manner I escaped the multitude of those who plotted against me, though I put no man to death, deprived no man of his property, and only imprisoned those whom I caught red-handed. All this, however, I ought perhaps to tell you rather than write it, but I think you will be very glad to be informed of it. I worship the gods openly, and the whole mass of the troops who are returning with me worship the gods.2 I sacrifice oxen in public. I have offered to the gods many hecatombs as thank-offerings. The gods command me to restore their worship in its utmost purity, and I obey them, yes, and with a good will. For they promise me great rewards for my labours, if only I am not remiss. Evagrius 3 has joined me. . . . of the god whom we honour. . . . Many things occur to my mind, besides what I have written, but I must store up certain matters to tell you when you are with me. Come here, then, in the name of the gods, as quickly as you can, and use two or more public carriages. Moreover, I have sent two of my most trusted servants, one of whom will escort you as far as my headquarters; the other will inform me that you have set out and will forthwith arrive. Do you yourself tell the youths which of them you wish to undertake which of these tasks.1 2 The theurgist. His life was written by Eunapius, Lives of the Sophists and Philosophers. Maximus was at Ephesus; Julian's headquarters were at Naissa, where he had received news of the death of Constantius, November 3rd, 361. Schwarz dates this letter October or November. 3 i. e. when he recrossed the Rhine in 360. For this campaign, see Ammianus 20,

[Πρός: Μαξίμῳ φιλοσόφῳ] Πάντα ἀθρόα ἔπεισί μοι καὶ ἀποκλείει τὴν φωνὴν ἄλλο ἄλλῳ προελθεῖν οὐ συγχωροῦν τῶν ἐμῶν διανοημάτων, εἴτε τῶν ψυχικῶν παθῶν εἴτε ὅπως φίλον κατονομάζειν τὰ τοιαῦτα. ἀλλ’ ἀποδῶμεν αὐτοῖς ἣν ὁ χρόνος ἀπέδωκε τάξιν, εὐχαριστήσαντες τοῖς πάντα ἀγαθοῖς θεοῖς, οἳ τέως μὲν γράφειν ἐμοὶ συνεχώρησαν, ἴσως δὲ ἡμῖν καὶ ἀλλήλους ἰδεῖν συγχωρήσουσιν. ὡς πρῶτον αὐτοκράτωρ ἐγενόμην ἄκων, ὡς ἴσασιν οἱ θεοί, καὶ τοῦτο αὐτόθι καταφανὲς ὃν ἐνεδέχετο τρόπον ἐποίησα· στρατεύσας ἐπὶ τοὺς βαρβάρους, ἐκείνης μοι γενομένης τριμήνου τῆς στρατείας, ἐπανιὼν εἰς τοὺς Γαλατικοὺς αἰγιαλοὺς ἐπεσκόπουν καὶ τῶν ἐκεῖθεν ἡκόντων ἀνεπυνθανόμην, μή τις φιλόσοφος, μή τις σχολαστικὸς ἢ τριβώνιον ἢ χλανίδιον φορῶν κατῆρεν. ἐπεὶ δὲ περὶ τὸν Βισεντίωνα ἦν· πολίχνη δὲ νῦν ἐστὶν ἀνειλημμένη, πάλαι δὲ μεγάλη τε ἦν καὶ πολυτελέσιν ἱεροῖς ἐκεκόσμητο, καὶ τείχει καρτερῷ καὶ προσέτι τῇ φύσει τοῦ χωρίου· περιθεῖ γὰρ αὐτὸ ὁ Δοῦβις ποταμός· ἡ δὲ ὥσπερ ἐν θαλάττῃ πετρώδης ἄκρα ἀνέστηκεν, ἄβατος ὀλίγου δέω φάναι καὶ αὐτοῖς ὄρνισι, πλὴν ὅσα ὁ ποταμὸς αὐτὴν περιρρέων ὥσπερ τινὰς αἰγιαλοὺς ἔχει προκειμένους· ταύτης πλησίον τῆς πόλεως ἀπήντησε κυνικός τις ἀνήρ, ἔχων τρίβωνα καὶ βακτηρίαν. τοῦτον πόρρωθεν θεασάμενος οὐδὲν ἄλλο ὑπέλαβον ἢ σέ, πλησίον δὲ ἤδη προσιὼν παρὰ σοῦ πάντως ἥκειν αὐτὸν ἐνόμιζον. οὗτος δ’ ἁνὴρ φίλος μέν, ἥττων δὲ τῆς προσδοκωμένης ἐλπίδος. ἓν μὲν δὴ τοιοῦτον ὄναρ ἐγένετό μοι. μετὰ τοῦτο δὲ πάντως ᾤμην σε πολυπραγμονήσαντα τὰ κατ’ ἐμὲ τῆς Ἑλλάδος ἐκτὸς οὐδαμῶς εὑρήσειν. ἴστω Ζεύς, ἴστω μέγας Ἥλιος, ἴστω Ἀθηνᾶς κράτος καὶ πάντες θεοὶ καὶ πᾶσαι, πῶς κατιὼν ἐπὶ τοὺς Ἰλλυριοὺς ἀπὸ τῶν Κελτῶν ἔτρεμον ὑπὲρ σοῦ. καὶ ἐπυνθανόμην τῶν θεῶν (αὐτὸς μὲν οὐ τολμῶν· οὐ γὰρ ὑπέμενον οὔτε ἰδεῖν τοιοῦτον οὔτε ἀκοῦσαι οὐδέν, οἷον ἄν τις ὑπέλαβε δύνασθαι τηνικαῦτα περὶ σὲ γίγνεσθαι, ἐπέτρεπον δὲ ἄλλοις), οἱ θεοὶ δὲ ταραχὰς μέν τινας ἔσεσθαι περὶ σὲ περιφανῶς ἐδήλουν, οὐδὲν μέντοι δεινὸν οὐδὲ εἰς ἔργον τῶν ἀθέων βουλευμάτων. Ἀλλ’ ὁρᾷς ὅτι μεγάλα καὶ πολλὰ παρέδραμον. μάλιστά σε πυθέσθαι ἄξιον, πῶς μὲν ἀθρόως τῆς ἐπιφανείας ᾐσθόμεθα τῶν θεῶν, τίνα δὲ τρόπον τὸ τοσοῦτον τῶν ἐπιβούλων πλῆθος διαπεφεύγαμεν, κτείναντες οὐδένα, χρήματα οὐδενὸς ἀφελόμενοι, φυλαξάμενοι δὲ μόνον οὓς ἐλαμβάνομεν ἐπ’ αὐτοφώρῳ. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν ἴσως οὐ γράφειν, ἀλλὰ φράζειν χρή, οἶμαι δέ σε καὶ μάλα ἡδέως πεύσεσθαι. θρησκεύομεν τοὺς θεοὺς ἀναφανδόν, καὶ τὸ πλῆθος τοῦ συγκατελθόντος μοι στρατοπέδου θεοσεβές ἐστιν. ἡμεῖς φανερῶς βουθυτοῦμεν. ἀπεδώκαμεν τοῖς θεοῖς χαριστήρια ἑκατόμβας πολλάς. ἐμὲ κελεύουσιν οἱ θεοὶ τὰ πάντα ἁγνεύειν εἰς δύναμιν, καὶ πείθομαί γε καὶ προθύμως αὐτοῖς· μεγάλους γὰρ καρποὺς τῶν πόνων ἀποδώσειν φασίν, ἢν μὴ ῥᾳθυμῶμεν. ἦλθε πρὸς ἡμᾶς Εὐάγριος […] τοῦ παρ’ ἡμῖν τιμωμένου θεοῦ. […] Πολλὰ γοῦν ἐπέρχεταί μοι πρὸς τούτοις, ἀλλὰ χρὴ ταμιεύσασθαί τινα καὶ τῇ παρουσίᾳ τῇ σῇ. δεῦρο οὖν, τοὺς θεούς σοι, τὴν ταχίστην, εἴτε δύο εἴτε πλείοσι χρησάμενος ὀχήμασιν. ἀπέστειλα δὲ καὶ δύο τῶν πιστοτάτων ὑπηρετῶν, ὧν ὁ μὲν εἷς ἄχρι τοῦ στρατοπέδου παραπέμψει σε· ἕτερος δὲ ἐξεληλυθέναι σε καὶ ἥκειν ἤδη μηνύσει· πότερον δὲ ὑπὸ ποτέρου γενέσθαι θέλεις αὐτὸς τοῖς νεανίσκοις σήμηνον.