Letter 9: To my Uncle Julian.

To my Uncle Julian. It is the third hour of the night. I have no secretary available — they are all busy — so I am writing this to you myself, with some difficulty. I am alive, by the grace of the gods, and have been freed from the necessity of either suffering or inflicting something irreparable [the death of Emperor Constantius II from natural causes had resolved the civil war before any battle]. But the Sun — whom of all the gods I besought most urgently — and sovereign Zeus bear me witness: I never for a moment wished to kill Constantius. Quite the opposite. Then why did I march? Because the gods explicitly commanded me and promised safety if I obeyed — but if I stayed, consequences I pray no god ever inflicts on me. Furthermore, having been declared a public enemy, I intended only to frighten him, hoping our quarrel would end in a settlement on friendlier terms. And if it had come to battle, I meant to leave the outcome entirely to Fortune and the gods, and to accept whatever their mercy decided.

To his Uncle Julian 2[361, Late Nov. or Dec. from Naissa] The third hour of the night has just begun, and as I have no secretary to dictate to because they are all occupied, I have with difficulty made the effort to write this to you myself. I am alive, by the grace of the gods, and have been freed from the necessity of either suffering or inflicting irreparable ill.3 But the Sun, whom of all the gods I besought most earnestly to assist me, and sovereign Zeus also, bear me witness that never for a moment did I wish to slay Constantius, but rather I wished the contrary. Why then did I come? Because the gods expressly ordered me,4 and promised me safety if I obeyed them, but if I stayed, what I pray no god may do to me! Furthermore I came because, having been declared a public enemy, I meant to frighten him merely, and that our quarrel should result in intercourse on more friendly terms; but if we should have to decide the issue by battle, I meant to entrust the whole to Fortune and to the gods, and so await whatever their clemency might decide. 2 For Count Julian, see Introduction. 3 A proverbial phrase; cf. Letter to Nilus, p. 159. The sudden death of Constantius had simplified Julian's course. 4 Cf. Vol. 3, Letter to the Athenians 284b-285d, for Julian's own account of the mutiny against Constantius and the sign given by the gods.

[Πρός: Ἰουλιανῷ θείῳ] Τρίτης ὥρας νυκτὸς ἀρχομένης, οὐκ ἔχων οὐδὲ τὸν ὑπογράψοντα διὰ τὸ πάντας ἀσχόλους εἶναι, μόλις ἴσχυσα πρὸς σὲ ταῦτα γράψαι. ζῶμεν διὰ τοὺς θεοὺς ἐλευθερωθέντες τοῦ παθεῖν ἢ δρᾶσαι τὰ ἀνήκεστα· μάρτυς δὲ ὁ Ἥλιος, ὃν μάλιστα πάντων ἱκέτευσα συνάρασθαί μοι, καὶ ὁ βασιλεὺς Ζεύς, ὡς οὐπώποτε ηὐξάμην ἀποκτεῖναι Κωνστάντιον, μᾶλλον δὲ ἀπηυξάμην. τί οὖν ἦλθον; ἐπειδή μοι οἱ θεοὶ διαρρήδην ἐκέλευσαν, σωτηρίαν μὲν ἐπαγγελλόμενοι πειθομένῳ, μένοντι δὲ ὃ μηδεὶς θεῶν ποιήσειεν· ἄλλως τε ὅτι καὶ πολέμιος ἀποδειχθεὶς ᾤμην φοβῆσαι μόνον καὶ εἰς ὁμιλίας ἥξειν ἐπιεικεστέρας τὰ πράγματα· εἰ δὲ μάχῃ κριθείη, τῇ τύχῃ τὰ πάντα καὶ τοῖς θεοῖς ἐπιτρέψας περιμένειν ὅπερ ἂν αὐτῶν τῇ φιλανθρωπίᾳ δόξῃ.