Letter 71: My first letter to you is about something noble -- if indeed friendship is noble.
Libanius→Eumolpius|c. 320 AD|Libanius|AI-assisted
friendship
A first letter about something noble. If indeed friendship is noble, it is to you that I write, and I would wish to persuade you; but even if I am not going to persuade you, it would do no harm to have made the attempt.
You became intimate with Parthenius, and the matter advanced to such a point that you two were dearer to each other than your own households. But a certain suspicion that fell upon you cut through this bond, and it seemed that Parthenius, with whom you were angry, had done him a good turn. Withdrawing from the charge, he says, and having somehow incurred a blame that does not properly belong to him, he swears that he is clean of the reproach, and I am persuaded. For the man who does everything to win you back, how is it likely that he would deprive himself of what he had?
And indeed, even if he has grieved you exceedingly, the penalty he has paid is sufficient, and although exacting punishment is at first more pleasant than bearing the wrong gently, yet whenever a man is praised for having endured it, the pleasure is greater. And on the whole, forgiveness is more Hellenic [more in keeping with Greek character] than retribution.
Consider too that this man, approaching many people, will confess that he loves your friendship, but that you look down on him; and they will take as a mark of his fairness the one thing, and of your quarrelsomeness, so to speak, the other.
See to it, then, that by indulging your anger you do not prepare many people to think Parthenius' conduct moderate, while they censure yours. But considering that such a change befits your own nature, and feeling respect for me, your kinsman and your elder, and judging all the things by which Parthenius plainly gladdened you to be stronger than the cause that is not manifest, return to the disposition you held before the suspicion, and show that he has not been penalized, since he carries one letter of mine in place of many.
**To Eumolpius** (359)
My first letter to you concerns something noble. If indeed friendship is noble, I write to you and would wish to persuade you; but even should I fail to persuade, there is no harm in having made the attempt.
You became intimate with Parthenius, and the matter advanced to such a point that you were dearer to one another than your own kin. But a certain suspicion that crept in severed this bond, and Parthenius was thought to have done a favor for a man you regarded with hostility.
Standing clear of the actual charge, as he says, yet having somehow acquired an undeserved accusation, he swears he is innocent of the reproach — and I believe him. For how is it likely that a man doing everything in his power to win you back would have deprived himself of what he already possessed?
And indeed, even if he has grieved you deeply, the punishment he has already suffered is enough. Taking vengeance rather than bearing things with patience may be sweeter in the moment, but when a man is praised for having endured, the pleasure is greater still. And in general, forgiveness is more befitting a Hellene than retribution.
Consider this: Parthenius, approaching many people, will confess his longing for your friendship, while you will seem to look down on him — and people will take the one as a sign of his reasonableness, and the other, if I may say so, of your stubbornness.
Take care, then, that in indulging your anger you do not cause many to think Parthenius's conduct moderate while censuring yours. Rather, judging such a change of heart befitting your own nature, showing respect for me as your kinsman and elder, and deeming the unproven accusation less powerful than all the ways Parthenius has openly given you joy, return to the disposition you held before the suspicion arose — and show him that he has lost nothing, since in place of many appeals he carries this one letter of mine.
A first letter about something noble. If indeed friendship is noble, it is to you that I write, and I would wish to persuade you; but even if I am not going to persuade you, it would do no harm to have made the attempt.
You became intimate with Parthenius, and the matter advanced to such a point that you two were dearer to each other than your own households. But a certain suspicion that fell upon you cut through this bond, and it seemed that Parthenius, with whom you were angry, had done him a good turn. Withdrawing from the charge, he says, and having somehow incurred a blame that does not properly belong to him, he swears that he is clean of the reproach, and I am persuaded. For the man who does everything to win you back, how is it likely that he would deprive himself of what he had?
And indeed, even if he has grieved you exceedingly, the penalty he has paid is sufficient, and although exacting punishment is at first more pleasant than bearing the wrong gently, yet whenever a man is praised for having endured it, the pleasure is greater. And on the whole, forgiveness is more Hellenic [more in keeping with Greek character] than retribution.
Consider too that this man, approaching many people, will confess that he loves your friendship, but that you look down on him; and they will take as a mark of his fairness the one thing, and of your quarrelsomeness, so to speak, the other.
See to it, then, that by indulging your anger you do not prepare many people to think Parthenius' conduct moderate, while they censure yours. But considering that such a change befits your own nature, and feeling respect for me, your kinsman and your elder, and judging all the things by which Parthenius plainly gladdened you to be stronger than the cause that is not manifest, return to the disposition you held before the suspicion, and show that he has not been penalized, since he carries one letter of mine in place of many.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.